We’ve all have an identity. Some of us are musicians, or athletes, or students, or teachers.

Some of us are good at math, or are bad with names.

Some of us like Asian girls, or tall girls, or small girls.

Some of us prefer to lead, some to follow.

But this is all an illusion; a perpetually morphing mist.

Your identity is the sum of your life experience; a mental movie to which you attach an imagined version of yourself.

When your proclaimed identity is challenged, instead of being open to the possibility of adapting a new way of being, your ego jumps into action. “How dare they!” and “I’ll show them!”

Watch yourself using these words: Me and I (The illusion of self).

These are the common complaints I hear on bootcamp.

“She’s not MY type.”

“That’s not me.”

“You need to understand me.”

“It’s different with me.”

“That won’t work with me.”

“My childhood was like this.”

“My Dad was like this.”

“I grew up different.”

“I’m different.”

“You don’t understand.”

“I had a hard life.”

“I’m not good looking.”

“I’m balding.”

Reasons, justifications and excuses.

And some of my ex-students are reading this and possibly thinking, “He’s talking about Me. How dare he ask me to question my identity.”

I learned from experience. Every sensation you’ve ever experienced, has been experienced by everyone else.

There Is No You. You Are Not Different Or Special.

The learning process for being great with women, with people, with life, is exactly the same for every human. The one who knows everything knows nothing of knowing. (Say that ten times.)

You have to be open to other opinions, to question your most stringent beliefs.

The ego wants to keep you strapped to an identity. It doesn’t want you to try out new behaviours, new ways of acting, new beliefs. It wants to keep you safe…alive, in slavery to spiritual stagnation.

“I don’t work out at gyms. Those are for dumb jocks.”

“I don’t go to hipster clubs. I hate hipsters.”

“I don’t like Spanish women, they’re bitches.”

You are nothing, and free to be whomever you choose. Just realize, it’s a game. It’s all a play, and you are the star.

I consider daily that everything I have ever written was wrong. Everything I have ever taught was nonsense. And I’m sure one day, years from now, I may say the same when re- reading this article.

All that matters is truth. Here is the truth.

“I’m short.”

“I’m balding.”

“It’s Tuesday.”

“I have $6 in my pocket.”

“She told me she had a boyfriend.”

“I have to get up at 7am to go to work or I will be late.”

“I need to talk to girls to meet more girls.”

“I need to advertise and work to make money.”

The little voice, the eternal virgin, will fill your head with lies. It will make you say things you don’t mean, tell stories that never happened.

It will change your memories to keep you happy and deny access to the deeper awareness that is blocking you from your bliss.

You would blame your friends, your health, your family, your money.

You are not clairvoyant:

“She thought this, he meant that.” As if these stories are truth and not your ego’s interpretation of truth. It’s like looking at the world through tinted glass and all is orange, but you deny the existence of glass. You limit the available colours.

This is why real nerds don’t know they are nerds. Because to them, everyone else is stupid.

“She rejected me.” No…she was late for work.

“She shit tested me.” No, she asked you a question.

“He’s a douche.” No, he’s concerned for his friend’s well being.

Why do fans feel like they truly know a celebrity? Because they have read them, or watched their performance. It’s our awareness of the constant stage play that compels our lifelong performance. We are all the stars of our little drama.

Read “A New Earth,” by, “Eckhart Tolle.”

This is an entire book about ego.

Study Zen.

Read about ego. Understand it. Use the knowledge to get what you want from life.