Reader Mail: I’m Desperate, Needy and Lonely. Why Won’t She Text Me Back?

Tony, I’m an Asian guy and I was interested in this girl from Peru. We met at the bus stop in our college and sometime we made eye contact. She seems like she’s interest in me because sometime I saw she turned around to see if I was looking at her, plus she told her friend about me so her friend did the same thing.

A sideways glance is usually a sure sign that a woman finds you interesting or attractive looking. If she’s talking to her friend about you positively, then you have to approach her. Women will give you small windows of opportunity and if you don’t take them, they shut, often forever. This is why it is always best to approach a girl as soon as you notice her. Take action early and she will forever remember you as a brave man. Even if she rejects you, she will at least respect you. And you can work with respect.

The other day I decided to be brave and went talk to her. The conversation went pretty well, she doesn’t have a phone so I couldn’t get her number, but she gave me her name so I can look her up on Facebook. She accepted me the day later and I was happy about it. On the weekend, I sent her a message said “Hi, this is the stranger on the bus, hope you remember me. I want to invite you to the dance party at blah blah studio on November blah blah. If you want to come you can bring a couple of your friends as well. So please let me know and I’ll talk to you soon :)”

Ok. I never say, “Nice to meet you,” and never say, “I’m the stranger on the bus.” It conveys far too much neediness. Was it really so nice to meet her? Nicer than your trip to the gym, or finishing that big school project, or meeting the three other girls on your way home from school? And of course she knows who you are. You should assume she was waiting for your text. If she didn’t know who you were she would ask. When I text all I ever say in the first try is, “Tony.” Usually the girl will respond with, “Nice to meet you Tony.” Now hopefully she will follow up by asking me some questions. If she does not follow up, then I will text her maybe two times, and ask her out. But never in a long ass text message. I just ask, “Are you free tomorrow?” If she’s into you she will either say yes, or if she’s busy she will give you an alternate time.

Do you think I said something that…just not right or randomly? I’m pretty confused about the American dating culture so I’m not really sure what am I doing. I tried to compliment her on her picture that she’s pretty or her hair looks nice. I also posted on her Facebook asked that if she has class on the coming Wednesday. Do you think I’m doing too much? Should I just let it go for a while? I feel like an idiot and ashamed. I don’t know what I do wrong. What should I be doing if she doesn’t responds forever?

Game 101. Never compliment a woman on her looks unless you are using a direct opener or you have really tight game. You however are a needy newb who I assume has not had much sexual experience. You reek of desperation, neediness, loneliness and despair. I can feel it seeping through this letter.

My recommendation. Do not text her again until she texts you. Go out tonight, and with the opener, “Hi, I’m so and so. You look fun,” meet at least three new women, and try to get their phone numbers.

Having options will alleviate some of this wretched neediness and then if she contacts you, play a little hard to get. Don’t be so damn eager. Use “Push Pull.” Read David Deangelo or Mystery. Grow some game champ, meet more girls. It’ll be ok.