I Had a Work Crush Once

I was working in a restaurant many years ago, and there was a girl I was super stoked on. I feared saying anything remotely flirty to her. She had these big, blue, anime eyes. Working was unbearable because my groin would ache all shift. Women have no clue what they do to us.

I didn’t want to be charged with sexual harassment in the workplace. But I’d had enough.

One day she walked past me, I looked at her and said, “Get that little ass out of my way.”

“What did you say?” She gasped.

I din’t care if I lost my job. I was just a lousy busboy. I repeated the statement. “I said, get that little ass, out of my way.”

Things could have gone badly. She could have complained to management. I could have lost my job. But that didn’t happen. Actually, it turned her on. A few days later she asked if she could come over and check out my place. Of course she could.

Rewarded for Breaking Unspoken Social Rules

Now, look at society’s view. Imagine if suddenly during this interaction, the roof was torn off the building, and all of the people in your society, the lawyers, the doctors, your parents, uncles, nieces, teachers, all looked down on you and said, “You can’t say things like that! It’s not polite!”

What pressure that would be. But, isn’t that how we feel when we want to take a risk, or speak our mind. Imbedded social conditioning stops us.

Don’t Be A Sociopath Though

Now, if you walked up to a street hustler and called him a punk ass bitch, you would get your ass kicked. That’s common sense because most of us understand enough about human nature and psychology to foresee the repercussions of such a stupid action.

But telling a girl you desire her, even implying, is often measure in our heads as equally dangerous or taboo. Where did these thoughts come from? Honestly, it doesn’t matter that much. I could blame Disney, or women’s lib. But it doesn’t matter.

The important lesson here is that you, as a social Jedi in training, must be aware of this game going on inside your head. Question all of your beliefs! Every time you say something with absolute knowledge, stop to reflect and ask yourself, is this an opinion, or a fact?

Check out these stupid idioms:

“You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”

“It takes on to know one.”

“The early bird catches the worm.”

“Just be yourself.”

“A penny saved is a penny earned.”

“Mexico is Dangerous.”

These are often spoken as truths, but they’re not. If you think about the above statements, imagine the person who first said them. They were probably a character in a movie from the 1950’s. How many times have you heard, “I’ll be back,” or, “You complete me?”

A parrot can reproduce the sounds, but it cannot produce intelligent, spoken thoughts. Not to us at least. Yeah most humans are spitting back these same cliches, but on a grander scale. Look at the criminals we vote in to power. Look at how we’re destroying our environment when we have limitless options for free, clean energy. Basically, as a species I’m both impressed and horrified. We’re fucking liars!

Question Everything. Use Critical Thought.

The lesson here is the next time you tell yourself an absolute, or you hear someone else speak a, “truth,” simply question it.

Question the truth. That’s all. Step back and ask, “Why should I agree with this?” Even from a leader, or a coach, any, “truth,” they speak should be questioned. Do you have the life experience to come to your own conclusion? No? Then it is not a truth for you. Just information and opinion.

***I’m off to Se Asia. If you’re interested in coaching over there, contact me now. I’ll be there until Jan 2015. Come travel with me in a 3rd world paradise.  If you want coaching in North America, I have people on the ground here, junior coaches, and you can book me for infield daygame coaching when I return.***

I will also be offering great deals on Skype Coaching while I’m gone. Ask me for more info.***