Just Pull Already, or Love and a Boat.
I’ve been hanging out with a lot of girls lately. Hanging out and NOT banging them. I must admit, it’s been a challenge. As guys get older their testosterone tends to lower and spreading your dna becomes less of a priority. So I admit, my interest in cold approaching is waning, especially as I get more into writing. But my interest in women will only wane when I’m dead. And I’m not talking about their vaginas, as fascinating as they are.
What does this mean for the future of Absolute Ability? It’s actually good news. It means I’ll work harder to grow the brand so I can train younger guys to coach for me. Then, when my book is published and I’m rich and famous I can buy a boat and seduce an American Apparel model to sail the world with. I’ll give her a Tommy gun so she can fend off the pirates while I grapple swordfish and drink mojitos off the coast of Cuba.
Oh right, I’m supposed to give you pickup tips.
How to pull a girl from a bar to a bed
Let’s pretend you hook a girl and want to get her out of the bar so you can bang her. I’m assuming you’re not into bathroom or alley sex, as I’m not. I like beds. Let’s also assume you understand sexual escalation. So you open a girl, hook her with your charming banter and sexual aggression, then isolate her from social pressure on say, a back couch, make out and put her hand on your wiener. Then what?
Here’re a few magic lines:
“Where do you live?”
“Let’s go for a walk.”
“Let’s go on an adventure.”
“Wanna get out of here?”
“Did you drive here?”
“Wanna see my car?”
“Let’s go.”
“Let’s blow this pop stand.”
That’s how I do it. The problem is finding a girl that will get to that point with you. You may need to approach twenty, thirty, fifty women to find one that’s willing to leave the bar with you. That may seem like a lot but for seasoned lounge lizards it’s maybe two, four or six night out. But once you hook it’s all about logistics and keeping things fun–so fun that she forgets that she has to work at 9 am, that she has a part-time boyfriend, that she came with six friends that will call her a slut for leaving with you.
If you’re not pulling, it’s because you’re not trying. You’re going for approaches, phone numbers and kisses. You’re waiting for that magic girl that is revved up and ready to bang. You’re waiting for permission. It’s up to you to pull the trigger and make it happen.
Or you could write a best seller and buy a boat. Let love seek you out.
