A Vancouver Dating Coach on How to Keep a Girlfriend
A lot of guys take a Vancouver pickup bootcamp, use various techniques and approach girls until eventually they land a hottie. Most guys slip into monogamy with the first pretty woman that will have them, and that’s fine. I congratulate these guys. But if their journey was anything like mine they’ll probably get dumped sooner or later. Why? Because they aren’t there yet. They slip.
So guys ask me, “How do I keep a girl interested long term?”
If this was a Disney style blog, I would tell you to learn to cook, be attentive to her needs, respect her parents and always be on time for your Sunday night dates …
But that is all irrelevant. It’s more important to follow basic game rules that helped you to land the woman in the first place.
Abundance Mentality: There are plenty of fish in the ocean. You are happy with the one you have now, but you’re a shark and could easily catch another. You have the skills, the confidence and the charm. She must know that you have options. Don’t be afraid of flirting with other women. Keep your skills sharp and options open. Don’t cheat, but if she knows that you could upgrade it will keep her working hard for your attention. She wants to work for you. This may sound contrary and many women would disagree with me…but it is truth. I’m sorry. She needs to know that you are desired by other women.
Ego: You don’t create stories in your head that cause pointless arguments. You don’t freak out every time she has an emotional outburst. You allow her to be a woman. Women can test a man’s ability to remain calm and logical. Your ego will fill your head with useless complaints and chatter, so learn to control it. You must be a reef in a storm, a solid anchor for her to latch on to. You can’t be more feminine than she is.
Positivity: You don’t brood over things that don’t work out. You lost some money in a real estate deal? Not her problem. Having a bad hair day? Not her problem. Your girlfriend isn’t your emotional case worker. She will help guide you, but it’s a guarantee that if you whine about every insecurity, her labia will shrivel like a salted slug. Stay happy and keep her happy. Also be fun! Be spontaneous.
Appreciate her: She needs to feel that her hard work is worth something. She cooks for you, she sings for you, she massages you, she charms you and makes you look cool for your friends. You thank her. Let her know you appreciate it. Tell her once, and fuck her silly. Then go back to being aloof.
Ambition: Not rich yet? That’s ok. Not is shape? It’s cool. But you better be working on it. You better have a plan because no girl that’s worth anything wants a guy whose only ambition is to beat his Call of Duty score. Start a band, a blog, a business. It doesn’t matter…but do something to improve your life and let her see that. Use her as inspiration if you have to. Think that if you don’t do something awesome, you won’t be able to keep the hot girl you worked so hard to get.
Independence: Sure women may have a fantasy concept of spending every waking minute with their man, who is so deeply in love, they are connected at the hip or whatever…doves crying, etc. But seriously…have your own friends. Have your own hobbies. Let her do her thing and don’t give her all of your time. Women should feel like they could lose you at any moment. Keep them wondering what you are up to. This isn’t a bad thing.
Girlfriend, not Mother: She’s not your Mommy. She’s your Woman. Treat her as such.
Sex: Probably the most important relationship deal breaker is bad sex. Can you give her the orgasms she needs? Can you have her screaming in pleasure and exploding her pussy juices onto your bed/floor/kitchen counter? If you can’t, you better learn how.
Emotion not Logic: Women will sometimes give you shit and cry, and moan, and you won’t have any idea what the fuck she’s talking about. This isn’t the time to get into logical debates. You are a man, and she is your woman. Men lead, women follow. I’m sorry, but this is truth. The best thing to do is be sympathetic and then tickle her, or fuck her silly. That’s what she needs. Change her state, not her values.
Your Word: You say you are going to do something, and then you do it. Because if you don’t, you will hear about it. Trust me on this. And every time you fail your word, she loses a little attraction. Women like doers, not scattered flakes.
Respect: Sure, respect her. But make sure she respects you. If she threatens to leave you for silly reasons like jealousy, insecurity, your work hours or your hobbies…tell her to take a hike. Sure you love her, but you have abundance mentality and you can find another woman. She’ll be back. If she wants a beta male provider they aren’t hard to find.
Conclusion
This may sound harsh, and I am not an asshole, but women need to know that their man is stable and sticks to his word and his path. If you deviate every time she spills tears you’re setting yourself up for failure. If you are needy, jealous, whiny, lost, unfocused, bad in bed and broke…you will soon be single.
This is a very broad subject but I’ll dive into more targeted concepts in future posts. In the meantime, leave some comments and sign up above to have this blog delivered straight to your inbox.
Good stuff Tony!
I agree with most of the stuff posted here.
Just because you have a girlfriend doesn’t mean you abandon everything to do with seduction because she’s “yours”. I think it’s all to do with having the balance between your “real” self coming through, and being the seducer that attracted her in the first place.
You become too “gamey”, you end up being really weird without any real personality or substance.
You show too much of your “real” self, not much left to explore, you get too comfortable and forget to build attraction.
I think it’s very interesting how most guys will have a life and be very ambitious but when a girl comes along they change into needy doormats with no goal and still live in their mom’s basement.
Now a few comments on the points:
Abundance mentality – I agree that we should never NOT think for one moment that we couldn’t get another girl. But I don’t completely agree with going out to approach and flirt with other women. Nah, not for me. I believe that being honest is very important in a relationship. If I flirted with other women and she asks, would I tell her? Fuck yeah, maybe it’s not the smartest thing to do but those are my values and I stick to them. Besides, I don’t think I’d be comfortable if SHE was out flirting with other guys. I don’t need to flirt with other girls to instill an abundance mentality but that’s just me.
Positivity – We should all be as positive as we can possibly be, and not bitch everyday about nothing. But now if you were to have a bad day, I think a girlfriend worth having would listen to you and support you. Otherwise, what the hell is the point in having a girlfriend?
IME if you are too positive and don’t show any “bad days”, your girlfriend will not feel that she’s adding value to your life and won’t feel useful to you. She WANTS to be able to help you, and add value to your life. So let her!
Emotion not logic – I think this pretty much applies to everyone, not just women. I used to work for the census and dealt with really irate people all the time. Nobody thinks logical when they’re emotional. I certainly don’t remember a time where my mind was completely clear while I was emotional, do you?
Your word – If you don’t have any respect for your own words, well… Why should she?
In general though, I do agree with all this.
I really liked this post because there seems to be a lot of articles about picking up women, approaching, building attraction, and blah blah. But nothing on keeping a woman you like.
Anyways that’s all for now. Cheers.
This post reeks of goddam good sense. Great job. Not that your others don’t, I just really like this one for some reason.
cool shizzzzz
Great post.
Just a question:
About the ambition part…Don’t women stick with assholish losers who have not much going for them?
One more question, please..
What if you have insecurities/ vulnerabilities? I know I do. Do you have to just have keep them to yourself/try to hide them?
Thanks for the comments everyone.
Bohemian, you shouldn’t hide your insecurities. You should deal with them.
Like say you are losing your hair…then go to a hair professional and ask them.
Maybe you are overweight. Then go to a health/fitness pro.
Get it? You must take action on these insecurities.
I also understand that there are certain insecurities you can’t correct easily, like age. Those have to do with inner game work. There are many ways to work on your inner game.
If you have a specific question, email me and I’ll try to help.