You Think You Have Problems Because You Can’t Get Laid
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Self
There’s a woman beside me reading the paper, drinking a pint at 1:42 pm and belching softly into her fist. Beside her is a young girl with large thigh tattoos. She’s engaged in a valiant struggle with her twelve foot Mac cable. The cable is winning. Being single isn’t so bad A girlfriend read my…
The Mechanical Bull
As much as you would like more money, a hotter girlfriend, a long vacation, fame, muscles, health, good looks and a rewarding career….right now! Realize this. You only have right now. This is it. This is your life. This is the result of all your hard work, decisions, and dreams. Are you at a desk?…
The Problem With Pickup Artists
At age twenty seven, when I started improving my sex life, I’d been with fifteen women. Not bad for a shy weirdo with bitch tits. Thank god for rock and roll because once or twice a year, some groupie would throw herself at me. But in the first year that I spent practicing pua techniques,…
The Passive Agressive Lover
I was watching this documentary about alpha males and wanted to share my own recent experience with a jealous male, who although wanted to be alpha, was quite insecure and it may have cost him attraction with his girl. Sometimes I mess with people. I’m a jerk. So I’m at the club and I’m talking…
The Lives of Others
I’m trying to write but these old hens are sitting here clucking about how Suzy has been, “Strutting around in her new three-hundred dollar shoes,” and, “Those tables were very poorly set and didn’t we drive such a long way to get there?” The wonder and horror of what we may become and what we…
awesome poem!