I Take Weak Men and Make Them Tough
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Self
There’s a woman beside me reading the paper, drinking a pint at 1:42 pm and belching softly into her fist. Beside her is a young girl with large thigh tattoos. She’s engaged in a valiant struggle with her twelve foot Mac cable. The cable is winning. Being single isn’t so bad A girlfriend read my…
I’m Raising My Rates
Phew I had a rough day yesterday. I had three clients cancel their bootcamp appointments in one day, costing me a total of $2100 in revenue and leaving me with nothing to do for three weeks. So logic would dictate that I should lower my rates to attract more customers, but instead I’m raising them….
Build a Spider Web
Yesterday I was walking home at night drunk as a circus clown on welfare day and along the wall beside me were these light fixtures. Inside of one, I noticed a fat little spider. He’d built a nest inside the fixture, completely covering the entire entrance. Every low flying bug in the neighbourhood was attracted…
Style Baby, Style
This is part of what I do. I take nice, plain men, and make them look (and feel) cool Guys: Ask a gay man. I mean this. Go to a fashion boutique and find the best dressed, most metrosexual man in there and say, “I have a date tonight–Help me.” Let them dress you. In…
“I bet when you fart thread come out.” Priceless. Are you this awesome on your bootcamps?
I’m pretty awesome. But I can’t always get this real because my clients might cry. I’m serious.