Being Happy is a Choice

I haven’t been writing much as I’ve been slammed with back to back bootcamps and one-on-ones. I’m impressed with myself for being self-employed for two years. I was even able to fund a four month trip to SE Asia. Thankfully there are lots of guys out there looking to improve their dating lives and I’ve developed a great reputation.

A girl I met in Toronto asked me, “Do you teach guys how to find girlfriend’s, or just to pull?”

“Well,” I said. “That’s up to the woman, isn’t it?”

I don’t really care whether a guy wants to find a girlfriend, or bang dozens of chicks. It’s really not my business. I only exist to help them find what they want.

I will be in Vancouver this July and August, but I’m fully open to going…anywhere. If you are a reader from Boston, New York, Miami, Berlin, Oslo, Mexico City, and you’re interested in coaching…contact me!

This is a bit of a promotional post, because I need to make a living, and I love to travel. I don’t think there are many men on this planet that are as good at teaching this stuff as I am.

Ok, now for some value.

I hate the term, “State.” It’s one of those little statements that pops up once every bootcamp. It’s late in the session, the student is tired and he says, “My state is low.”

“No,” I say. “You’re tired, and you’re not having fun.”

You can’t blame your inability to stay positive during a growth spurt on some mystical entity that floats outside of yourself. State is not a person, place or thing. You have to CHOOSE to be happy. That’s it. And just because you feel sad and grumpy doesn’t mean you get to go home early and quit.

“How do you stay in a good state Tony?”

I don’t acknowledge the existence of state. When you are consciously pursuing some mystical emotional state, it will elude you because you are NOT IN THE PRESENT MOMENT.

The best champions at anything are top tier because they don’t have to think about their actions. They have learned through a process of repetition and repeated exposure to the point that their actions emerge unconsciously. Worrying about whether you feel up or down, good or bad, is the same as stressing about not knowing what to say, or what opener to use. It’s pointless, and will only create reasons, excuses and justifications to not approach the damn girls.

I know I often repeat these, “Just do it,” posts, but that’s the truth. Don’t think! Do. Now you can’t be sad, or scared, because you aren’t thinking.

When I’m at a big scary bar, I’m not thinking, “Oh my god, those girls look like bitches, they have so many guys, last time I approached a group the big guy was mean to me.”

My thought process is this:

“I’m in a bar. I’m standing. There are fancy lights and loud music. Cool. Oh, girls. Want to talk to girls. Want to touch pretty girls.”

And then my penis drags me forward towards the pretty girls.

Another annoying question I get often is, “Tony, how do you stay motivated to approach girls?”

“Well,” I say, “I’m single and horny. What else am I going to do? Read a book? Watch Netflix. Die?”

Guys like me, we LIKE going out. We ENJOY talking to girls. We don’t get into low state, because we aren’t fighting our emotions, we’re one with them.

“Oh, I feel tired and a bit grumpy, maybe I’ll talk to some girls. Girls are fun.”

A girl tells me I’m a douchebag. “Oh, that girl wasn’t fun. Oh well. Maybe this one is.”

Or if I’m in high state. “Wow, I feel great. That’s perfect…I better talk to some girls. My infectious vibe will rub off on them.”

You are essentially learning to control your emotions, amongst other things. Choose to enjoy the process.

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