What to Text a Girl to Start a Conversation – 25 Ideas
What should you text a girl to start a conversation? I’ll give you a hint. It’s not “Hey,” or, “What’s up?”
Texting and “what to say” to girls are the two biggest questions guys ask me. So if you don’t know what to text her to start a conversation, don’t worry, you’re not alone.
Read this texting guide, because it will help you with your first texts, so you can get her off her phone and into your bedroom.
All Men Should Hate Texting
Do you hate texting? Well, join the club.
And that’s a good thing because men should not love texting.
We should be too busy building shit, doing things and being heroic men, not sitting around drinking soy lattes and chatting on social media.
And sometimes we hate texting a woman and then being left on read.
But hey, we need to get laid and it’s the current year. So, it’s time to get better at texting women.
Texting vs Social Media
Sending a girl a first text over social media is different than her phone number.
Unlike Instagram, TikTok, or a dating app like Tinder, a girl’s phone number is a distraction-free technology. It also just feels more personal than Instagram, or other social media.
That’s why I tell students that unless they have a professionally manicured social media profile, aim for a phone number first. It will also keep the mystery of your social status. If you impressed her with your cold approach and she thinks you’re a badass, why go and disappoint her with your crappy Instagram profile?
About This Texting Guide
This article is about texting girls you’ve met before in real life. Maybe you met her through friends, at a party, or from daygame.
So if you’re looking for online dating advice, it’s not here.
Why do I know texting?
I’ve texted thousands of girls. And I managed to hook up with around 10% of them.
Now, I’m pulling that number out of my bum, but yeah I used to be a massive manwhore pickup artist. So, while I’m not like that anymore, I still know my text game.
So keep reading, because In this guide, I’ll help you out so that your conversation starter texts compel her to reply so that you can turn off the Xbox and start making sweet love to your new girlfriend.
The ONLY Purpose of Texting a Girl You Like
Texting a girl you like is not for building rapport, getting to know each other, keeping in touch, or building attraction.
There is only one reason to text a girl: To meet her in real life.
You are texting her so that she puts on her shoes, goes outside and meets you for a date.
You can call it a “hangout” or whatever, but let’s get real, it’s a friggin date. You approached her, got her phone number, texted her, and went for a date. You picked her up.
And hopefully, that date leads to sweaty sex in every position possible.
This is the only reason to text a girl.
And the only purpose of the first text is to get her to reply.
As for what to text her, read on.
Women Are Not Like Men
I have a gay friend. He had a lover whom he’d never seen the guy’s face.
He told me this story.
“I just text him that I’m coming over, no questions asked. When I arrive, the door is unlocked. I walk in and he’s on the bed, wearing a mask, naked, and his ass in the air.”
If women were like gay men, the world would be overpopulated with inbred hillbilly babies! They’d have no standards at all. Everyone would just be banging everyone.
All you’d have to text is “What’s up?” Then you’d be over having ass-up sex parties.
But women are not men, so we need a little more finesse with our texting.
Best Conversation Starter Texts
I always text a woman within ten minutes of getting her phone number. And I only text one word:
“Tony.”
This is for two reasons:
- When I text her tomorrow, she remembers my name.
- If she’s really into me, she’ll start the conversation herself.
Imagine you’re a hot girl. You’re out doing your shopping and a charming guy stops you on the street. After a few minutes of chatting, you give him your phone number.
Then you go back to work, or to school, and stuff your head full of new stimulus. You have social media, friends texting and calling, Netflix, audiobooks, podcasts…
…And then you get a text from a number you don’t recognize. It says: “Hey, what’s up?”
The girl’s first thought is “Who the fuck is this?” And she never replies back.
But if it was me, the first text would say something like, “I think I just saw your famous doppelganger on TikTok. You’re not a professional salsa dancer are you?”
She thinks, “Who is this?” Then she checks the chat history and sees “Tony.” Oh yeah! It’s that guy who approached me yesterday. And if she doesn’t remember that, she at least knows my name.
Giving vs Taking Value With Texts
Does this statement give or take value?
“What’s up?”
How about this one?
“I just saw the greatest movie in the history of all movies. Want to know what it was?”
One is asking her to do all the work, the other is offering her some interesting information.
In the beginning, every text should be adding to her life by either educating or entertaining her.
The more interesting and fun your first texts are, the less likely she is to flake on your date.
Educational and Entertaining First Texts (To Start the Conversation)
Pretty much any first text is better than “How are you doing?”
Look at this list of examples of first texts, and even though they’re ridiculous, notice how to give value by being educational, entertaining, or funny.
Current Events: “Apparently, scientists are just one step away from powering our homes with nothing but dad jokes. Imagine the savings!”
Funny Fact: “Just found out octopuses have three hearts. No wonder they’re so loveable, right?”
Book Recommendation: “I’m reading ‘The Alchemist’ and I’m not saying I’m a wise sage now, but I did just figure out how to perfectly levitate on the first try.”
Historical Anecdote: “It’s the anniversary of the moon landing. I’m just here trying to land a ping-pong ball in a cup. Equally historic, I think.”
Science Update: “Heard about the AI breakthrough? I’m hoping the next update includes robots that laugh at my jokes.”
Cultural Insight: “Learning about Japanese tea ceremonies. It’s all about grace, beauty, and not spilling hot tea on your lap.”
Travel Experience: “Venice is all gondolas and no cars. I’m starting a petition for gondola-only lanes in our city. Are you in?”
Health Tip: “Gratitude improves mental health, they say. Today, I’m grateful for jock straps. What about you?”
Environmental Issue: “Saving coral reefs is crucial. Plus, where else will future mermaids have their raves?”
Artistic Discovery: “Found an artist who uses recycled stuff. Finally, a good use for my collection of lost socks.”
These texts are good because they’re educational, entertaining, funny… and kind of stupid. They’re all far better than boring, logical, snore-fest first texts.
Pop Culture First Texts
Most young women love talking about pop culture.
So here are more templates for starting a conversation over text about pop culture.
Latest Blockbuster: “Did you see the new [current blockbuster movie] trailer? I’m convinced that half the budget was spent on [insert actor/actress] making his abs glisten in the sunlight.”
Music Award Buzz: “So, [current popular artist] just won [recent music award]. I’m practicing my acceptance speech for ‘Best Air Guitarist’ in my living room.”
Trending TV Show: “Have you been watching [current trending TV show]? I’m just here trying to figure out how to apply their survival skills in my next trip to the grocery store.”
Celebrity Viral Moment: “Did you catch that viral dance move by [current popular celebrity] on TikTok? I tried it and let’s just say my dancing career is not taking off anytime soon.”
New Game Release: “The new [recently released video game] is out. I had big plans for my life until now.”
Fashion Trend Commentary: “Saw the latest fashion trend is [current bizarre fashion trend]. I’m ready to start the trend of wearing pyjamas everywhere. Comfort is key, right?”
Recent Music Festival Shenanigans: “Heard about the crazy things that happened at [recent music festival]? If I were there, my claim to fame would be the worst but most enthusiastic dancer.”
Viral Social Media Challenge: “Everyone’s doing the [current viral challenge]. I’m considering starting a challenge where we see how long we can avoid laundry. Thoughts?”
Popular Podcast Topic: “Listening to the latest episode of [popular podcast] and they’re discussing [interesting topic]. I’ve got some wild theories of my own to add!”
Celebrity-Endorsed Product Hype: “Just saw [famous celebrity] endorsing [new product]. I’m thinking of endorsing coffee as the best Monday survival tool.”
Personal Experience First Texts
A lot of coaches teach texting something that you remember about your first interaction when you got her phone number.
Maybe she talked about having a Turkey dinner with her family, or that she was cramming for a big test.
Sure you could text something like: “So how did that test/turkey dinner go?” And while it may seem that you’re coming off as thoughtful, most likely she’s thinking “why did this guy remember that? I barely remember meeting him.”
I feel like those texts come across as needy, and a bit too “nice.”
Maybe they’ve worked for you? Let me know in the comments if they have.
Memes as First Texts
Why not let a meme do all the talking for you? Just Google “Best memes” and you’ll have thousands of funny options that are guaranteed to get at least a “lol” out of her. And you can’t really screw it up since you didn’t make the meme.
For starting a texting conversation, a meme is at least better than “Hey, what’s up?”
Voice Messages or Videos
I love voice messages. You can remind her why she liked you in the first place.
Just take any of the texting examples above, and send them as a voice, or video message.
I’ve personally found at least a 50% higher reply rate to voice messages rather than text messages.
What to Text a Girl to Get a Reply
Your first text should be your name. But this won’t get a reply other than “Nice to meet you.”
The examples above should elicit a reply at the least. At the best, they would turn into a conversation.
Remember, your objective is not to text her for three days but to get a date.
I’ll go over more advanced texting in upcoming articles.
Until then, here’s an entire course on texting by my friend Swingcat. Note, that if you try it out, I get a small commission.
Until next time.
Tony Depp
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