Tony D’s Cheesy Pickup Lines

I’m pretty much deep in writer’s block, so here’s a bunch of my stupid pickup routines. Have fun.

“You’re not my Dad.” (Great reply for pretty much anything.)

“If you were trapped in a well with a squirrell, would you eat it, or keep it for company?” (My opinion openers are weird.)

“Do you like Bald Eagles?”

“Who would win in a fight, one hundred midgets or one T-Rex?” (Hooks every time.)

“Remember that time in Naam? We were in the shit? Charlie had us pinned and you just wanted to makeout? I can’t believe we survived that.” (Roleplaying.)

“Oh my god! Cindy lu lu from kindergarten! It’s been sooooo long. Come here!” (Hug)

“Come here!” (With a mortal combat chain strike/pull)

“Sup…bitches.” (Not always easy to pull off.)

High fives and spins are pretty much standard fare.

“Shut up and kiss me.” (Cut her off)

“What did your parents feed you?” (For tall girls.)

“Hey you! Super important! Suuuuper important! Come here. Quick! Guess what?” (Look at her with a long stare, then pull her in for a hug. “You had me at hello.”

 That’s all you get. Now go be my clones! Fly my monkeys, fly!