1. Eternal Chatter

Excuses, reasons and justifications. I’ve been teaching this stuff for three years and I’ve heard everything.

“But it’s different with Me.” (It’s not different. You are not different or special)
“She saw me looking, if I approach now, I might creep her out.” (Yes you may creep her out. That’s her problem, not yours)
“She’s with her boyfriend.”(It’s usually not)
“After this beer.” (And the next, then the next. Alcohol comes with a cost)
“I’ll try again tomorrow. I’ll sit this one out.” (Reinforcing that passivity is ok, thus perpetuating the cycle of retardation)
“My state is low.” (Taking action pumps state)

“She’s not my type.” (Beggars can’t be choosers)

“I’ll see her again. I can try then.” (Doubtful)

“I need eye contact first, or some sort of sign.” (Die lonely then)

“I’ll do it when I get in shape, buy new clothes, get a haircut, find my own place.” (Whatever)

This is called Resistance. It’s covered in the Book “The War of Art.” Resistance is the ego’s way of keeping you docile, safe, and boring. It doesn’t want you to stand out and rise above. It fills your head with lies. If you know you should be approaching and a million little reasons pop into your head, then you are mad with the eternal chatter. Silence the tongue, quiet the mind, and start right now. No more procrastinating.

2. Fashion and Grooming.

Most men look like nerds. Dirty, long fingernails, jutting nose hairs, running shoes instead of stylish ones, baggy, cheap, jeans, poor haircut, yellow teeth, ugly, ill-fitted dress shirts.

Style is critical for newbies because their game isn’t tight yet. Yes, looks do matter, so get it handled. Ask a friend to help you. If you’re broke, save up some cash. Pick a monetary goal and unleash your inner entrepreneur. $300 at H & M can do wonders. Ask the staff for help, that’s why they are there. Do not trust your own instincts.

If you feel like an article of clothing “Isn’t me” then you should try it on. Put on a different outfit and ask random girls if they like your new look.

Pro tip, ask the staff which of their colleagues has the fashion passion. Get them to help you. It will probably be the gay guy.

3. Inability to go Direct.

The Pua community has taught us many wonderful things. However, this is 2012, and bold, confident and direct are the memes of the day. If you can’t tell a woman straight up that you think she’s hot, then you don’t have a well-rounded skillset.

Once I started expressing how I really felt, my success with women skyrocketed. Compliments are not supplication. It’s ok to tell a girl you like her. North American women may be fucked up and unable to take compliments, but that doesn’t mean you need to be unable to give them.

4. Over Gaming

Just when you pull her to a table and she has her hand on your leg, you tell her “We would never get a long.” She gets pissed and walks away. Just when she introduces you to her friends you do a back-turn and neg her fingernails—fail. When you should be listening to her travel sex story, you are talking about some weird stuff she doesn’t care about.

Overgaming is why the experienced guys won’t introduce you to their friends. It’s why you can’t get girls to return your texts. I don’t have this problem with most of my non-community friends. It’s mostly in the pua scene that men become weirdos.

Sometimes it’s better to sit back and let the woman do the work. Let her pick you up. You can test this out the next time you hook a girl; just stop talking, lean back and let the silence hang—she will fill it.

5. No Physical Escalation

You talk and talk and talk when all you need to do is grab her waist and shove your lips at her face. Blah, blah, blah. Grab the woman and go for it. Enough talk already. Do something bold, make a play. Take her dancing, rub her outer thigh, kiss her neck, give her a hug.

6. Vocal Tonality

You are probably not loud enough. You might believe you are loud, but it’s usually the case that you aren’t loud enough. Women like dominant, confident men. Nothing says confidence like a loud, masculine voice. You don’t even need a deep voice; you just need to project yourself.

Watch that you aren’t ending your statements with a question. You do not want an upwards vocal inflection. “Oh really!? Cool!” Yeah!” Keep your voice even and calm the way you would speak to your best friend. Do not seek rapport with your vocal inflection, it sounds like a beggar.

 7. Body language

Watch your hands. Are they fidgety? This shows nervousness. Are you hiding your hands in your pockets? Do you slouch? Do you maintain solid eye contact or are you looking about? Good body language simply means holding still, and looking her in the eye. So simple, yet so incredibly hard for newbies.

8. Reliance on State

You’re having a bad hair day? You don’t feel like going out? You’re tired? You’re afraid? This is all irrelevant. I’ve gone out with strep throat and met women. How bad do you want to get this handled? How much do you want fantastic, beautiful women in your life? Do you want to have sex this year?

We all feel down sometimes. The best way to get out of this rut is to DO SOMETHING about it. Take action. Moving towards your goal will give you self-esteem and a sense of purpose.

If you are unmotivated to approach girls, try just one. Just go for a walk, and give a stranger a high five. Try that and see how your mood improves. It’s like magic. You must choose to be happy.

9. Over-Analysing

Women are not as attracted to logic as we are. Have you ever tried to logic your way out of a fight with your girl? It doesn’t work. The best strategy for a tantrum is to let her vent, accept her energy and change her state. Women communicate on an emotional plane, so you should game with that in mind.

Don’t beat yourself up after a bad approach and wonder why it went wrong. It just did. Your subconscious will sort it out after you write your notes and sleep that night. If you want to attract women with emotion, why would you dissect your approach with logic? Trying to understand women logically is like asking a dolphin why it smiles.

10. Attachment to outcome

You care. You really, really care. You want her to text you back, you want her to receive your approach, you want her to bang you on the first date. This not only reeks of neediness, it sets you up for great disappointment. You really shouldn’t care if you “get her” or not. Chasing girls is just a hobby. Trust that if you play the game long enough you’ll eventually score. It’s just a matter of time.

Take every failure as a learning experience and move on. Stay positive. You’re going to be rejected, a lot. Be one with that.

Good luck out there.