Played by the Playette
(I’m delving into new territory here. This is long and for more experienced guys. If you hate it, let me know and I’ll go back to writing about how to get laid.)
Oh the Playette. A few years ago, at a touristy intersection, I approached a very attractive young woman. Her butt was moonish and elegant, she oozed sex appeal that craned necks, caused traffic disasters and ignited elderly libidos. I picked a winner.
I didn’t employ any fancy routines or flashy game. I simply sauntered up and asked her where she was from, complimented her style, made some small talk and got the number (It takes years to make this look easy). Several weeks later we digested two litres of wine, a six pack of Corona and made drunk sex in her apartment.
With a blog like this I may appear like some player caricature…but really I’m just a normal dude. I get lonely too sometimes and finding good women is rarely, “easy.” By good I mean whatever your definition of, “good,” is. By, “easy,” I mean, sometimes you have to go looking for a good woman. Hot women are plentiful, but good women are rare. That’s why I like the numbers game—you can reboot the search engine. Often you don’t find good women. You find something else. Not quite bad but something else.
With this girl, if I tried to be funny, she would frown. If I tried to be witty, she called me, “weird.” Every instance I spoke of anything that wasn’t completely obvious (“It sure is a nice night,” or anything not, “normal,”) she would feign boredom. I was basically a warm body. I couldn’t understand what she saw in me other than courage.
The deal was; I show up, we drink, she talks, I agree, we bang. I wake in the morning with a pounding skull and slip out before she opens her kitten eyes.
Like Lady Gaga on Grammy night, some women have a ridiculous sense of entitlement. They will test you constantly for every misstep in your game. This girl was no exception. It wasn’t until I landed some really, “good,” girls that I realized not all super hotties were this difficult.
Mistakes are Inevitable
I couldn’t text her anything silly, nor say anything strange, nor tease, nor boast of my achievements, nor wax philosophical. Not interested. It was strange. Am I really that boring? At least I could grab her firm round ass and suck on her lips. Not a bad deal right? That’s all a man really needs, right?
Was this hottie using me for sex?
Yes.
Apparently she had just read, The Ethical Slut: a Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities. Thanks feminism!
When did the role reversal make itself apparent? When she started making excuses about her availability, “I have to work a lot this week, I’m super busy, I’m on my period, I’m tired,” and then ceased communication completely.
I was played
Used and tossed like molding, bargain bin deli meat. I did manage to save some memorabilia on my phone in the way of pornographic photos–so all was not lost. I’ve become accustomed to the strange world of cheap sex and guarded emotions. Hoorah for the player lifestyle.
When you are sexed by a goddess and then discarded, the result intense self-scrutiny and insecurity. There must be something wrong with you. If you only knew what…sniff, why?
The Crystal Palace of The Ice Queen
I learned my greatest lessons on icy behaviour from these women. I’m no longer the type of guy to be cut off for neediness. However I’m not perfect (far from it), no man is. I’ve had women pursue me into dark corners until I was forced to delete them off Facebook. Shocking, I know.
Some player types will advise to stifle your emotions, to disguise vulnerability, to never cuddle, coo, or become attached to women you don’t intend on keeping.
This is bullshit. You don’t need to be icy, distant and boring. You should be straight with your women. If you just want to bang, then just bang. But don’t hold back on emotional joy because you want an easy escape route. That’s just pathetic. This is your ego telling you to protect the fragile girl, when all you’re doing is avoiding your own pain. You can still be badass and be sensitive.
Appreciation vs Sexual Gratification
If a woman has the choice and power in a relationship, she will lose sexual attraction, resulting in the man feeling weak and unfocused. For guys long term, the memory of a quick sexual encounter is not nearly as fulfilling as knowing you are appreciated, admired and desired in the present.
This is contrary to much of the pickup community’s player mentality. As if all men want is to fuck soulless holes and vagabond forth. When you unveil this Mongol behaviour in women, the emptiness of the path unveils. Not saying we should all be sensitive beta boy providers. If you are a newbie, go forth and explore your budding sexual market value. These are lessons you learn in afterthought, usually as your tears splash in your cocktail.
I call this the mirror; when the woman flips the script on the player. These girls are usually extremely attractive and educated in North American feminist philosophy. They’ve also been played by alphas in the past; or annoyed by obsessive betas. They harden themselves to sharp diamond edges the way a pre-selected man would.
My famous friend once told me he drinks so that he can reject women. Playettes reject emotion so they can explore their options in privacy, at no social cost.
Traditional playettes will squeeze weak men for material and monetary gain. They’ll accept free dinners, trips, coats, jewellery and so forth. Are they evil manipulative bitches? Not exactly. They’re more opportunistic and desirable to weak men. It’s just their reality. Men mostly offer these things because they don’t understand female attraction psychology. The women just accept that it isn’t their job to teach these poor schmucks. The really crafty ones manipulate this glitch for their own gain. We call them, “Gold Diggers.”
To Catch a Horny Butterfly
I’ve known nineteen year olds that have slept with over one hundred men. For these women to remain interested sexually you need to be extremely dominant, and or socially powerful. If you don’t rock them to new emotional heights, or excite them with the prospect of status–you get dropped. Their promiscuity may be a secret passion or a cry for help. I really don’t know. Women like this are rare but not uncommon in party scenes that involve heavy drug culture.
I’ve had women that were attracted enough on approach, but completely resistant to meeting again. It wasn’t until they heard about my exploits as a dating coach, public speaker, musician, entrepreneur, and all, that they came to chase me for a second meet up.
You don’t have a light blinking above your head that says, “I’m great relationship material, give fantastic orgasms and have tremendous social power.” Women don’t know that you slept with a model last week. They don’t know that you are abundant, or strong willed, or have a nice cock, or a fancy house, or a cool job. And this can be a problem for new guys after years of little or nothing. This is why you will be cut off early into your affairs. You’re not there yet.
Should you wish to convert a Playette
Personally I like good girls…but…
One of the absolute best tools in your arsenal of hottie staying power is good sex. Learn to give her the orgasms that other men can’t. This will buy you time. Also, let her witness your ability to attract other women. This will impress her more than hearing the rap album you wrote in grade twelve, or the lawn care business that made you $100,000.
Many Playettes are impressed by a man’s ability to create art. If you can play an instrument, or paint, or flip motorcycles, or lift massive amounts of weight. Yes it will impress them but it’s still not enough to keep those flighty women grounded. Not if this isn’t coupled with status–not if you can’t provide them with constant emotional stimulus. Playettes are not typical. Also, I will never advocate using your financial resources to keep any woman. This is not an article for provider training.
You will notice the moment she is sold on you. She will open up. Suddenly everything you say becomes fascinating. Suddenly she can’t stop touching you in public. Suddenly she is submissive and feminine. Suddenly she is texting you six times a day. Suddenly she is interested in your interests. Suddenly she wants you to meet her friends. This is the tipping point.
The transfer from slightly interested to enamored rarely happens internally (within the time frame). It should exist from the beginning of the relationship, from the first meet. This is why social circle game is so easy. If you’ve cultivated your game to a level where your reputation precedes you, where your friends and colleagues share their admiration when you aren’t around, when your artistic creations influence others and spreads your legend…then you’ll have throngs of women vying for your attention with full openness and vulnerability. It’s only the amateur that plays with cold and aloof women. They are willing to give you a shot but prefer to be the playthings of more powerful breeds.
Status is only a tool in the arsenal. The man that relies on his reputation is underdeveloped. You need to work yourself out by not only developing social worth, but your own emotional stability and reference materials. This is best accomplished by approaching and dating a large variety of women.
When they golden ticket appears on your doorstep you will be well equipped to lead her to relationship glory–in whatever form you choose–without being an icy dick yourself. Cold behaviour is usually reserved for punishing bad social behaviour. Dishing it out simply because you want it to be easy when you stop fucking, that’s just weak.
A good Playette will lay the ground rules straight in the beginning. But most girls aren’t that chivalrous. That’s your job. So if you get played, don’t be vengeful, or angry, or sad. Just take it as another life lesson and move on, a stronger man. If you want to protect your financial assets—don’t marry one.
😎
That was a really good read. Thx bro
Eye Opening and awesome. Thank you!
Respect.
Good article, I fell in love with a playette before I realised that’s what she was. She is an only child and very self absorbed, beautiful and very sexy, and charming when she wants to be. But she’s a chameleon, I think she changes depending on the company she keeps, and I fell for it thinking we were on the same wavelength and had a meaningful connection.
This is the only catch with the playette, some of them lie and pretend not to be a playette. She pretended to be a sweet innocent girl, Cinderella looking for her Prince Charming etc.
I thought I’d found a girl who was a different class, I hadn’t found shit.
Great article, it makes alot of sense. I have also experience with these girls like Johnny c, what u wrote really felt like one girl I used to see. These girls will quite often have1-3 guys that are special to them which they keep in their orbit so to speak, who seem to provide some emo stimolous. And I would like to add. If u want to play with them/convert them etc, not that I advocate that, I agree with the author, icy behavior is for the insecure, weak and cowards. However, put all fellings you have for them in the bin. Focus on other girls and convey this to them. Be a man. Don’t be scared of her. Make fun of her in a warm way. Flirt with them still, but not too sexual. I play el guitar and she was fascinated by this. One time after I put the guitar away for a quick break she started to touch it a little bit. I said, let me show you how to play something, she said noooo omg, just because I touch it doesn’t mean I want to play, I said omg you are so fucking boring! I will never forget the look on her face, didn’t know at all what to say next. Always try to to be one step ahead with these girls. Thanks for sharing this great article. I burned myself bad on one of these girls. If anyone wants to hear more I’d be happy to talk about it.
yes i would like to hear more because i got desperate with one of these type that it completely messed up my head and the funny thing is that, now, after recovered. And i was emotionally devastated because she said she made a BF. I have no idea how – looking back i was totally obsessed – i just said to myself and to one of our common girl friend ‘that it I`m done , i quit’ and both of them got spooked after i disappear for more than a week. Kind of a LONG story because my first interaction with her was a fight and i spooked her and some of her friends. I was completely unpredictable looking back now.. Anyway somehow this strengthen me emotionally and i now realize that she really is into me and she was from the beginning, so i`m taking it SLOW , i`m helped her finding a job and i`m not going to ask for anything in return, i`m going to be the boyfriend without a name and i know she has a romantic side plus i also know her personality now and she is also shy or something, her eyes are always glowing when i`m around and every time she sees me she is right there matching my mood, kind of watching me. she now speaks only when `i m around and she is trowing little details in the conversation letting me know about her life, it is some sort of a coded conversation. Btw i saw her with her ‘BF’ and didn`t said a thing and she came to me making conversation and listening fascinated and i felt sincerity in her voice. She is acting like she is fascinated about me because i see her watching me from a far every time. She is extremely self conscious about herself. She is a little open right now, wish she was more, she still doesn`t want to date me and somehow i see some regret in her.. i dont know , like she is unsure.. but i`m still screwing things up and i still scare her after i make her feel great i leave her upset… i cant help it because i know she is lying and i hate when someone is lying to me …I need some help
Bro. You’re a needy little boy. Go out, meet more girls. Forget her. When she’s single she will see what a pimp you are and come running. Quit torturing yourself.
Alex, thanks for sharing. One thing which is vital to understanding these girls is that you have to realize they have ALOT of issues which is why they are behaving as they do. Now you need to ask yourself if you really want to be with a person like that even if you did manage to get her “sold ” to you or loyal, I can guarantee you a complicated and frustrating relationship. Most probably, you will never get to the stage you want because these issues are so deep and remains with them their entire life. I told my girl to be honest with me and share what she was struggling etc, I could see I reach through sometimes, but never managed to really get under her skin. I put more and more pressure on her to open up, eventually she took the easy way out and left. It was almost like she wanted to open up, but just couldn’t.
Shes gaming you now, you have to be strong and ignore the shit out of her, and if u have to pay her attention just do so for fun, never take her seriously. Never ever chase this girl to be in a relationship with you, it will only backfire, this is very important. If you want to pull a little trick, tell her that you have 1 or maybe 2 girls wanting something more seriously with you, but you are too scared to commit because you got hurt really bad in the past by a girl (make sure to tell her not her) and you want to protect yourself a little bit, and just move very slow until you feel someone is worthy of your total devotion, in the meantime you will just have fun etc. This might initiate some feelings from her, but no promise. Even if she does become “sold” on you, she is likely to have other guys on a string just like she has you now. Be sure that you don’t end up in a situation where she starts going steady with you and you end up like her current boyfriend, where she is also keeping other guys in the loop. This is what these girls do, its a survival tactic. Be sure to convey she is one of your options, not the other way around. Also, date other girls and treat the girls who behave normal (without attitude) and nice to you good and sincere, and the other ones like her a bit with a cold shoulder, she will pick that up.
But I want to add, these girls are too much work and so wrecked with different issues. Like the author I like the good girls more now, where you can just be yourself without having to play games all the time. Im at this point where I don’t really care about this girl I was with anymore, I gave her the chance, and im a good guy with good looks and a nice job, don’t have any problems finding girls. Im even thinking im better of without and having some other schmuck having to deal with her. I know its just a matter of time before she contacts me again though, im the best guy shes ever been with and she knows it. Even though I called her 2 months ago drunk and stoned in the mddle of the day and called her a fucking lesbian, lool. Your girls sounds like a typical playette, please let me know how it works out, and if u any questions, u can just mail me here: fredrik_soergard@hotmail.com
Awesome article , Tony. You’re going deep , we like it. I’m learning about the psychopathic girl , I’m on my guard now ! Thanks Tony , & also thanks the brilliant comments by some of your readers , Fred , Alex , & Johnny C.
You say player types advise “keeping an emotional distance.” Yes , that’s been my experience , player types do say this. “Spare the girl emotional pain” , is what they advise. What it’s really about , as you say , however , is “spare yourself emotional pain.” Haha. It’s actually not funny , lol. Don’t be a coward you say. You are correct. You also say “be honest with them.” Do you mean fore , or aft ? Tell them up front , before you get pokey – poked , is that the idea ? Won’t that scare them away ? Isn’t that the real reason we’re not “up – front” , we’re not man enough that is , because we “man – up” means no “girl – down.” We’re scared.
Of course we never actually say “I love you” , or say “I want marry you.” We keep some remblance of our integrity ( in ‘our’ minds , we do ). We may imply , “we marry” , ( at least the girl received this message ) , but not our fault cuz we didn’t actually say it. “Keeping our emotional distance” , is what is written. “She will pick up on that , & not fall in live with you , so nothing messy happens.”
I much prefer your way , Tony. Heck , the emotions ( our emotions ) , are a bonus , you say. I’d love to explore that. First , I’d kinda like to pop one , however. Yes , this is advanced stuff you talk about. I’m a two lay guy ( sigh ) , in the last two years. Neither was under 34. Both had kids. Single moms to my emotional rescue for sure. Heck , perhaps my physical rescue. Let’s raise the flag of respect for single moms. Full mast. They were Asian , however. Give me points for that , haha. I like Asian girls. I picked a tough genre , didn’t I ? Asian girls are tough , ( to lay ). My hat’s off to all you white guys with Asian gf’s. Good on you ! I want.
How are we to be “up front & honest” , Tony ? Verbally ? Just tell them ? Tell them what ? “I’m going to get emotionally attached to you , but not for a long time.” Something like that ? “I want to love you , emotionally , but not forever.” “I will always love you , but I date other women.” “I will always love you , but from afar.” It may be obvious to you , Tony , how to handle this delicate situation. I suggest some of your readers are not much educated in this area. It sounds awesome , what you say , loving on an emotional level , & being a player at the same time. Is that possible for scmucks like us ( I should probably just speak for myself , a scmuck like me ) ? Of course I’m not at that point in time , one lay a year et all. If I ever do become a serious player ( I have my doubts ) , it would be good to know this advanced stuff.
As you instill this , more love & honesty abounds. Makes the world more loving. Great stuff , Tony , very advanced. Borderline Spiritual. Keep up the good work.
Great article! As a player I have met all sorts of women. The good, the bad, and the absolute soulless (i.e your typical playette). And oh the playette wannabes (For this girls I deal with them mercilessly). The only advantage girls have over guys is their ability to fulfill our insatiable sexual desires. Once you take that out of the equation you can conquer any woman you want. Never ever get emotionally attached to any woman. None of them are loyal, including the self professed good girls. If you meet a playette, the best approach is play the fool. Play along with her. Be like the other gullible guys (except you’re not! Ah!). Have fun. But make sure she spends money on you not the other way round. If you must spend let it be little. Something you don’t mind losing. So it won’t hurt you when she leaves. Then exploit the hell out of her. This is called giving before taking. When she realizes at the end that you were onto her the whole time, she will either be very angry at you or fall in love with you, but either way she will have respect for you. The best players are those that are very unassuming. It’s all a game!
you haven’t meet a real narcissistic/psychopath woman yet…we all get our match one day if you haven’t you will one day (i know i did it was so weird) loool your word indicate that you are very upset and have unfinished emotional issue…i can guaranty you that the so called playette you played with are not real playette ,but just woman who use basic playette tactic so they won’t get play again….i know so because you smell heartbreak , real playette can smell that shit miles away and real playette know the covert players from the Casanova player to the (i was born with a cute face and a big dick so i get all girls naturally players) and many more..stop deceiving yourself …..do like me, play the confirmed playette ,become authentic by burning your unresolved emotion away and start fucking with people just for fun instead of creating heartless playette lmao…CAN WE EXCHANGE NUMBERS? I have few hardcore playette friend we can try to play i will give you the info you need about them and you just do your magic…IT WILL BE OUR LITTLE EXPERIMENT…XX
PS: I FIND MAN WITH SOCIOPATH TRAIT SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE YOU MIGHT GET TO FUCK ME..
some of the thing you said are so true like playette loving (man’s ability to create art), not all playette are bad , i like having fun with man who are well know for been player or use to be player. i research my victim,choose my persona and play the part carefully. i learned that from man,omg the first time i did it omg omg i hope i one day go back to the sweet innocent girl i was but with all the thing i know about man i dont know if i will ever,be able to make a player emotionally connected to me is easy they like good ,adventurous,submissive,well put together women.#SAD i hope i change loool