Saving Face, and Losing Your Penis

When I was in Bangkok the local media was circulating a story about a Thai woman who cut her husbands penis off with scissors.

Ouch.

The reason? He’d been spotted repeatedly gallivanting around town with his mistresses.

Lead by this example there arose an epidemic of men being castrated by their life-partners. There’s a common saying by Thai men, “I better get home or the ducks will have something to eat.” This is because many Thai homes are built on stilts, of bamboo, with porous floors that allow the wife to drop the man’s penis to the farm animals.

Yikes.

Oh, so are these men being punished for being caught cheating? Well, yes, but not exactly. Things are different in SE Asia. They aren’t being castrated for cheating; they are being castrated because the women have lost face. Over there, it’s ok to have a mistress, just not to be seen with the mistress.

Another interesting statistic is that very few of the men ever pressed charges, or divorced their crazed wives. They must love their families (or fear them.)

What is Face?

The concept of face can be described as a combination of social standing, influence, reputation, honor and dignity. Causing someone to lose face lowers them in the eyes of their peers, while saving or building face raises their self worth.

In the west, we tend to appreciate people who are brutally honest, or get to the point quickly. In Asia, this is not the case.

Back to penile amputation. Cringe.

In SE Asia, it’s perfectly acceptable for a man to have a mistress, to visit prostitutes on occasion, or even have a second wife. This is fine as long as the man keeps this life hidden from the public eye. In the west, a man having an affair is considered low-character, disloyal, and is grounds for divorce.

Let’s look at an interesting statistic.

At this time, the divorce rate in The United States is 4.95 per 1000 people.

In Thailand, the divorce rate is 0.58 per 1000 people.

This is a significant difference. Of course it has to do with many socio-economic factors, but I just wanted to highlight this statistic.

But perhaps, just perhaps, if men were allowed to alleviate their post-marital, sexual frustrations from time to time, as per their genetic programming, they would live happier, more fulfilling unions. That is, as long as they kept it down low, so that their loved ones wouldn’t lose face.

I’m not advocating polygamy. I’m just pointing out a cultural difference.

At least out here, she only gets half of your money, and not your dick.