Life is Paradox. Life is Rhythm

Else if you would be a man speak what you think to-day in words as hard as cannon balls, and to-morrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day.

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

As you progress in the game – you’ll realize – everything you thought you knew, has been contradicted. At some point or another.

One night you might act as a dominant, aggressive, bad-boy, and own the party. But when you attempt to emulate your little act, you’re ignored, mocked and dismissed by unreceptive girls. So try being quiet and relaxed while still approaching and you meet a cute, receptive girl. Being nice works! The next night you try the same style and not one girl will give you a shot. Not one. Why? What are you doing wrong? How should you be?

Par·a·dox

noun

1. a statement or proposition that, despite sound (or apparently sound) reasoning from acceptable premises, leads to a conclusion that seems senseless, logically unacceptable, or self-contradictory.

Imagine you’re feeling a little poopie, brooding…almost but not quite melancholy. But you love going out, getting your flirt on, and the work must be done! So out you go.

You said you would just show up. No pressure. Just show up. You arrive and chill beside the bar. Instead of mass approaching to build your state, you joke with the bartender about how you’ve been playing way too much Plants vs Zombies. The guy beside you chimes in that he’s addicted to sports blogs. The two of you have a laugh, and a few minutes later his cute older sister and three of her friends show up. He introduces you. The sister’s friend compliments your shoes and boom, and off you go to romance land. Two days later you’re having consensual anal sex in her luxury condo. All you needed to do was show up, and be relaxed. It should always be like this, you think.

The next day you’re at the mall, and you politely open a beautiful girl. She cooly ignores your compliment with a shrug and walks off. So the next girl you get a little mad, and yell, “Hey. How many baby squirrels died to make the collar on that jacket?” When she deduces based on your smiling face and relaxed body language that you’re just kidding. So she laughs and attraction blossoms.

The next day you try the same baby squirrel opener, but this time the girl yells, “Fuck off douchebag!” and storms into a department store.

Different styles, different circumstances, different and random reactions. Notice I say “reactions” and not “results.” I don’t like thinking about results as that mentality takes focus off the present action, which is what really matters.

Guarded vs vulnerable

Direct vs Indirect

Physical vs Verbal

Agressive vs Passive

Push vs Pull

Life as a Rhythm

Think of life as waves crashing onto a beach. Everything has a rhythm. Your favourite songs are nothing but vibrations, like waves. A wave has a top, a middle and a bottom. If you were to stop a wave and look at it from a distance, it would appear as an even rhythm. But up close, you see chaos; foam, bubbles different sizes and abstract shapes.

Your life is also a wave. The ups, and downs, the chaos and peace. How would you understand happiness, without despair? Lust without loneliness? Purpose without apathy? Here’s the trick: be cool with the wave. Surf the wave. Ride the wave up and down, under and above. Once you feel the rhythm, you master control of tide and you can direct your path more accurately and adapt different experiences, attitudes and styles. You can ride the wave slow and easy, or hard and aggressive. As long as you spend a lot of time in water, you will be able to somewhat predict the rhythm, but you’ll never anticipate when the big wave arrives. You can only accept the big waves as a gift from the ocean.

In the game, the receptive, fun, open minded, sexy women are like these big waves. You can’t predict when they’ll appear, you can’t control them, and you won’t know their personalities. But you can adapt to her, and she will adapt to you. So choose the role you want to play and own it.

Be open to adaptation to find liberation, skill and growth. Close yourself to dogma and you sink like a stone. If you want to be a stone, that’s fine. But be aware of the game, the role you are playing. This is self-awareness. Self-consciousness. A stone sits in one place, and sometimes rolls, always sinks, but never grows.

Life is Paradox

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