Self

There’s a woman beside me reading the paper, drinking a pint at 1:42 pm and belching softly into her fist. Beside her is a young girl with large thigh tattoos. She’s engaged in a valiant struggle with her twelve foot Mac cable. The cable is winning.

Being single isn’t so bad

A girlfriend read my manuscript. She said, “I liked it.”

“What did you like best?”

“The parts about your girlfriend. The relationship.”

“What parts did you dislike?”

“It seems like all he wanted was sex.”

“All men want sex.”

“I guess they do.”

There’s more to life than pussy, they’ll say. But when the last piece you’ve had becomes a distant memory, like a dust particle floating through an office cubicle that exists on the astral plane,  and the encouragement of Muggles to, “Just be yourself,” causes you to grind your teeth to the marrow. Well what choice do you have but seek meaningless sex? Because the best relationship you will ever have is with yourself.