I Still Don’t Know What to Say!

Greetings noble reader (picture me on steed, with longsword in hand). This meagre blog is purposely sparse on the outer game advice. Rarely do I dispense verbal game tips like “say ‘xyz’ exactly after a back turn, wear a scarf,  lean 67 degrees to the left and whisper with a lisp except when dipping your balls in organic jasmine tea.” I believe most (not all) pua material is for entertainment purposes only and all of your critical answers lay dormant within yourself. The true benefit of pickup material is motivation and inspiration, with a dash of information. I helps to hear about the experiences of other men, but as far as learning, “what to say,” it can be beneficial to join a forum and lurk the, “what do I say in this situation?” type threads, or maybe memorize a few routines. But after that month of glory and failure, you’re going to have to wake up from the matrix.

When I started back in 2006 these situational convo type threads were the most popular e.g. “What do I say if she says “I have a boyfriend?” (I just ask “How’s that working out for you?” or “Does he beat you?”) This advice has since fallen out of fashion with the popularization of the natural “just wing it” state-based game, physical-escalation movement.

Now, I do believe you can say the wrong thing. When I was in Thailand I approached this mixed group of 20 something girls, walked to the hottest one and said, “Hitler. Yes or no?” She wasn’t impressed. Actually, she got pissed at me.

“Why would you say that?”

“I wanted to see how you would react.”

“Doesn’t this seem like a bad reaction to you?”

“I suppose so.”

“So why did you say that?”

“I’m bored and lonely.”

“You could have said hello and introduced yourself.”

“Hi, I’m Tony.”

No, I wasn’t accepted into that group, but while she was bitching and moaning I moved 17 steps  across the sand to another group of girls and said something else, totally random. “Hey do you guys know where the beach is?” (We were standing ten meters from the beach). Some of them laughed. Most of them ignored me. But one girl said, “It’s right there! Right there! Are you wasted?”

“Show me.”

So she took me to the water and we splashed and frolicked a little.

When I tell you I really have no idea what to do, I’m not lying. However, I understand the fundamentals of game. I know how to spot opportunities, create opportunities and capitalize on opportunities. I’m not ashamed of my dick and I don’t care who knows it. The truth is, most newbs are terrified of rejection, terrified to let anybody know that they have a dick. That’s ok. But your need to control every aspect of a pickup is unrealistic and unobtainable. Let go control. Be cool with random, illogical, seduction. Life isn’t logical, and women aren’t either.

Back to what to say. We know this much:

• Don’t be needy or jealous
• Don’t put her on the fabled pedestal
• Have standards, or use push – pull e.g. “I love you, but I hate you. Come here, now go away.” This could also be called teasing. Which by the way, isn’t necessary at all if she’s attracted to your good looks, your height, or your charm or social status. You don’t need to be funny at all actually. It helps though.
• Test compliance. This can be physical compliance, but with verbal compliance it’s as simple as moving her from a food court to a bookstore, from a bar to a couch. “Hey, let’s move over here.”

Men’s obsession with what to say stems from many factors. One is a deep rooted lack of self-worth, low self-esteem, lack of purpose, sexual shame and inability to express one’s thoughts, (Read books. The larger your vocabulary and worldly knowledge, the more you can talk about).

I always advise my students to sign up for improv classes. I’d say 80% of my clients are software engineers or logic based office workers and spend their days staring into code. They are accessing their logic mind ten hours a day and then they go out and try to go “beast mode” and run natural, improv style pickup. And big surprise, they “don’t know what to say,” even though they spent the last three months consuming seduction products. What’s the secret!? Is it in Vin Dicarlo? Mystery? RSD? Love Systems? Tony D? Brad P? Mehow? Simple Pickup? The Dog Whisperer? Vince Kelvin? or the thousands of small fry blogs and seduction products?

We have hypnotists, seductionists, manosphere, pua, Nlp, speed seduction, natural game, routine game, good looking game, fashion game, self-help, and on and on. Everybody wants to help you get laid. So why aren’t you? What’s missing? Why don’t you know what to say? Why don’t women want to bang you? Why isn’t it easy yet?

Those are good questions. Do they keep you awake at night?

We’re all the same. You are not different or special. Just like a herd of cows appear similar, we are a herd of human. Some of us are more inclined towards humour, mathematics, sports, seduction, cage fighting, music, art, or business. Some of us are just more inclined. That doesn’t mean it’s hopeless for you. It just means that cold approach pickup might not ever, ever be easy for you. It’s never been easy for me. It’s easy to do, yes. I have no fear of approaching a woman. None at all. Does that mean I have all the magical words and techniques memorized? No. Again. I never have a plan. I am rejected far more than I score. It takes me about three dozen attempts to find a girl that meets my ridiculous standards and also wants to play. Honestly, chasing women can be amazing and fun, and also a total drag.

You can’t play alone. If she isn’t willing to play, you will have “nothing to say” because she isn’t listening.

So maybe you’re short, or ugly, or black, or asian, or pale, or bald. “Women never play with me!” Well that’s just bullshit because I’ve been teaching pickup for long enough to know women don’t work that way. I’ve seen plenty of average guys with beautiful women. It works. Pickup works. The problem is not that you don’t know what to say. If you can have an interesting conversation with your best friend (not surprisingly most of my students do not have a best friend) then you can pickup a girl. But you have not put the time into developing your mind, body and spirit. You want the magic pill. 

Right now I’m having my own existential crisis. I don’t plan on teaching pickup bootcamps into my forties. Also, there are just too many bloggers specialized in seduction. I feel like a parrot. So I have about four years to create a new business model. I want to expand past pickup, maybe into self-realization, creativity and creative productivity. I’m also planning a novel that has nothing to do with women. There’s so much more to this human experience than seducing women, as rewarding as that is. Women are the reward, not the goal. For now I will continue to share game tips, but I’m working on a new blog for all of my non-pickup writing. I hope you guys can stick with me while we figure this out. Just like you look to me for advice, I look to others. You guys help me as much as I help you. Especially by supporting my work, buying my books and taking my coaching programs. Thanks! Merry Christmas you horny bastards.