Are You Too Cocky?
Once upon a time a fantastic book was released by a guy named David Deangelo called, “Double Your Dating.” It was stuffed with great information that changed a lot of guy’s lives. Concepts like, “Cocky Funny,” and, “Fake it till you make it,” taught us how to drop the nice-guy charade, and man up to approaching women. I have nothing but respect for that guy and his book.
However, the negative ramifications were great. The problem with new guys is they are overly scientific. They take the pickup literature too literally.
Now I have some advanced students that can’t seem to get it right. It’s not that they’re too nice; it’s that they’re too damn cocky. They swing from one extreme to the other.
When you’re too cocky, it doesn’t come off as confident, it comes off as insecure. It has the opposite effect of the intention.
There’s some serious strength to being humble and sweet. Not all the time, but often. If you lay up a great cocky joke, and it goes over well, do not keep laying on the cocky. Back off, sit back, and let her do some work. Arrogance is not charming.
Don’t be afraid to make an honest compliment now and then. “You have really pretty eyes,” or, “I like your energy,” can have really positive effects. Laying out your vulnerability from time to time shows confidence, because you are telling the truth instead of hiding behind a false pretentiousness. Pua’s like to call this, “beta,” game, but most pua guys don’t get laid, and rarely have girlfriends. Check yourself, what is your emotional reaction to this post. Do you disagree? Now, are you getting laid? Didn’t think so. I am. Well, not at the moment, but…anyway.
Lots of community guys act like they’re the shit with women. They think that by displaying a false bravado, they’re faking it till they make it when in reality, their bullshit is transparent. It’s in their eyes, their words, and their mannerisms.
When is cocky good?
Cocky is best served in a rebuttal.
“You’re such a douchebag.”
“Really? Why do you like douchebags?”
“You’re such a show off.”
“You love show offs.”
It’s part of the parlay, the dance, the flirtation. Use it sparingly.
Be classy, be unpredictable. Dogmatically following a formula will make you really fucking weird.
