The Long Distance Relationship Fantasy
Tony, I’ve read your books and blogs and have taken a great likening to the advice you have given. I have learned to be better with women through what you have to teach and have managed to excel in my work and have became a leader. I have also managed to have sex with multiple women thanks to your help. However, there was, for the first time, a lady who actually gave me a feeling of what I believe to be love.
The dilemma I face with this girl is that I met her on holiday and she lives in Ireland and I live in England. This is something that I really want to make work. We got along amazingly, a feeling I got from her was like no other! I am still in touch through texting with her. I need your advice on how to proceed on this.
Part of my brain is saying I can make this work. I have no problem with making a long distance relationship. In fact I think this will be personally ideal for me. But there is another side of me that is saying that I am silly for even believing this. If it helps I am still young (20). I have realized not to make game a major hobby as it can affect my personality as I have not fully developed as a man. Any advice you could give on my situation would be greatly appreciated!
Ahhh young lust. You met a girl that tickles your fancy. The way she moves, talks, even smells, is hypnotic. When you touch her skin waves of dopamine are released into your bloodstream, creating an endorphin high. When you are apart from her, separated by an ocean, you can only remember her sweet essence as you quietly masturbate to her Instagram selfies.
It’s really great that you met a girl. When I was 20, I didn’t have access to blogs such as mine. I didn’t know that to be attractive to beautiful women I needed to have alpha qualities, leadership ability, freedom from outcome, game. All I knew was that “being nice” wasn’t working too well. So congrats to you for using the information in this blog to improve your life and find a great girl. Isn’t game amazing? It not only lands you women, but improves nearly every aspect of your life. Now about your crush…
Too bad she lives across an ocean.
I am no Nostradamus and I’m not sure what lays in your future. But I can tell you a little about my long distance relationships. I have girlfriends all over the world. I have one in Mexico, Brazil, China and Germany. They aren’t my monogamous girlfriends, but I keep in touch and if I were to visit I’d probably be in a bed with chosen girlfriend hours after my flight had landed. That is, unless they were in a monogamous relationship with someone else.
Pro insight here, all hot girls have multiple men vying for their time. If you have a sexy 20 year old girl living in Ireland, I can guarantee you that she has multiple men trying to get with her. So wipe the lustful grease from your spectacles young man, for if you open your heart to wide you’re leaving it available to mutilation. As long as you understand that she might be being spitroasted by a rugby team at this very minute, and you’re cool with that, then you might be able to maintain a long distance relationship.
Women are great actors.
You might be able to remain chaste, but from what I know of Irish women, they like to party, a lot. And that means she’s probably a happy little slut that just had a great, guilt free time with a guy from another country.
I’ve never been in a monogamous, meaning only one girl, relationship with someone from a different city, never mind a different country. I have needs that must be met, preferably once or twice a week, and I don’t see how a girl in another country, no matter how special she seems, could fulfill this need. This is why I prefer poly, or open relationships. Sure we could talk over Skype, or email, but my sexual needs must be met and Skype won’t cut it.
You have a few options. You can move to Ireland, or she can move to England. If you are rich, you could visit her once a week. But since you’re 20, I’m sure you’re a broke ass, she probably is as well.
I’m all for lust, eerrrrr, love, and if you really, really want to experience this girl, I’d say, take a month long, or longer, vacation, and spend every day with her. If after thirty days everything has worked out, and you aren’t completely annoyed with each other, or have not already broken up, then decide what you want.
I can tell you now, if you’re only 20, you don’t know shit about love, because you don’t even know yourself. You’re just too young man. If I was you, I’d just keep seducing new women and gaining experiences with a variety. I wouldn’t commit to a girl who lives across an ocean, and I wouldn’t claim to be in love with a woman I hadn’t been dating for at minimum, six months to a year. And this would be in close quarters, meaning the same city.
On that note, don’t take anything having to do with your romance that seriously. And do not knock this girl up. Treat her as a fun time, accept that she’s probably banging other guys, and take your time. I didn’t even get into game until I was 27, and I’m still looking for the perfect girl. You know why? Because they don’t exist.
On that note, try to get together with her while she’s still fascinated by you. Bang the crap out of her as many times as you can, and never act needy, overly possessive or jealous. This will cause her to pair bond with you, ensuring a higher degree of loyalty. That is, until she meets a 35 year old guy with fifteen years of experience who can make her orgasm on command.
Good luck mate.
I am older than most of you. Probably older than most of your dads. I am single. and meet women just like you guys.
I have had and tried long distance relationships.
As far as creating love its nearly impossible, practically.
I agree with Tony. The best advice is change your focus.
Make this the “getting together ” not the long distance relationship Get there as often as possible and as Tony said ” try to get together with her while she’s still fascinated by you. Bang the crap out of her as many times as you can,. ” I absolutely agree 100%. This is the best way to have her fall in love with you. Become good friends. Meet her family and her yours. Chances are nearly 100% that she will break up with you (or you with her) for one of 1000 legitimate reasons (parents, religion, job, change in goals outlook, health, new love, etc) but if you are lovers and friends then chances are very good in the future you will again become bf and gf (or at least lovers) and you will again be in bed just like you were before.
Focus on the here and now. Have tons of fun in the here and now. Sure you and she can talk of the future etc. But don’t bet on it with money (at least not too much) or your future or hers. Its too much in reality like the lotto. Yes it does sometimes work out. Not much however.
And if you truly fall in love a long distance relationship is very tough on your heart. The loneliness is bad.
So make friends, pal around, have other girls who are “friends” and they will want to seduce you. Don’t hesitate to accept and be seduced if you like those woman. One might turn out to be the woman of your dreams.
You can’t predict love and relationships. Just not possible. Toss out all stereotypes, movie themes, stories, etc. Its all new, its all changing. Make the most of each day. But by all means go back as many weekends as you can and just have a total blast. Let your heart strings and hers play out all the music they can. Its totally wonderful. Just understand that the music nearly 100% of the time stops so that you are mentally ready with your head already moved when it happens and your heart will recover and follow and you will then appreciate and love her still in a new way for all the you both gave each other. No regrets time.
Then in the future (in my case, 20 years later) I reunited with an old long distance gf and we had 4 more super fun and wild years (at a new distance we were both in different cities) maybe the best ever 4 years of my life. If we weren’t friends and in love under all of it, that would not have happened. If you reach that state, the love is always there by the way. I never knew that. Its easily possible to love more than 1 woman just so you know.
Best to you. Get back to Ireland. I am going to Achill Island this summer and taking some new girlfriend. Making memories. Having fun..
Joe
Shit the bed! I was expecting you to just give me a simple email saying “Daz, no mate, it’s not going to work” But I come back to your website and you’ve written a blog! Thank you for taking the time out to do that.
I fully understand that I have a bad case of Oneitis, it’s a nice feeling you know. But I’m not dumb. I’m going to take your advice and work on “GFTOW” haha
Daz
Relationships are hard, Long Distance Relations are worse. Its the difference of crossing a lake with kayak and swimming with your legs tied. Its still doable though if both sides are prepared.
I’m currently 6 months on long-distance and I feel it every single day. This is not my first long-distance but the longest one.
– I think if you don’t know the girl and her friends for at-least 6 months, don’t try this.
– Communication. Its the most important thing. A relationship only works if both sides are benefiting from it. I call her almost every single day and keep the seduction flowing. If she is not putting an equal effort as you are, then it won’t work. Both sides should really really want this.
– If you don’t see yourself being with the girl for 5 years, don’t waste your time. Tony likes having multiple girls. I’d rather have a woman who augments my life than hunt for a different colored pussy every now and then. MGTOW
– If you get jealous if your girl goes and kisses another dude while partying, it won’t work. Long distance is the ultimate test of trust and openness. If you can openly talk about your desires and allow the other party a bit of freedom, it makes you like them even more attractive. I am allowed to fuck another girl if its only for fun and she approves it. She has the same rights, we haven’t used the card though. I’ve never felt the need to. I’ve kissed a few girls, and she was cool with it.
– Meet her in person as often as you can if its possible. The more orgasms she has with you physically, the more loyal she will be.