Montreal is a Wonderful Place to Learn Pickup

Reader mail time. Hooray!!

I don’t know how often you check this, but I’ve been following your blog on and off and find it entertaining. I myself feel somewhat lost and unsure what to do.  

Anyways, to give a bit more of a background let me describe the situation. I’ve lived in Vancouver for 6 years now and although I like it I no longer love it. I’m typically a quiet, shy kid, who grew up in a very strict household. One which does not condone bringing girls into the bedroom. I find it very tough to date and many people to be terribly judgmental. In fact, my so called “closest friends” berated me when I said I wanted to do a bootcamp to improve my social ability to meet girls. Regardless I went. The experience although did not “wash away” my approach anxiety or change my self confidence, it did do one thing – alter my belief system. I was able to get a couple of phone numbers that night and while nothing panned out it felt weird. Weird because it didn’t seem natural? Regardless, when I took the bootcamp I had just exited a long term relationship and my mind was definite not on the “present”.

Good for you for stepping up and confronting yourself. Bootcamps are not magic pills and won’t cure you of your ailments. Though they are really useful for getting you on track, properly.

The reason it seemed, “weird,” is probably because you’ve been socially conditioned to keep your voice down, eyes averted, and leave strangers to be strangers. It didn’t feel natural due to years of social conditioning. It takes time to re-wire your programming. Months to years for most.

Being in the now is critical for success with dating, however don’t let any excuses ever stop you from taking action. There will rarely be a perfect time. Taking action is always the best option.

 Fast forward a year, and I guess things are slightly different in some ways. I attended my first personal development seminar and it was a blast. I learnt things that have made me realize how fortunate I am and how lucky I am to have the life I want. However, my dating life and friend circle is virtually non existent. It’s to the point where I’m not even sure who are my “friends” and who are my actual friends. The thing is, I’ve heard this is a common phenomenon in Vancouver. So I’m making a decision. My decision is to move to Montreal in Sept 2012 and really learn to experience life. I’ll be 25, single and for once not living at home. The funny thing is, even that decision is providing people to beef with me. The truth is, I need to learn how to grow up, to be comfortable in my own shoes, to know that it doesn’t matter what happens “there” because I don’t know anybody, Pickup is actually doable and that there are nice and good hearted people.  Now for the guidance….

Watch your thoughts. Don’t blame Vancouver, your friends, your family or any other circumstances for your lack of whatever you feel is missing. That is a victim mentality. You’re a smart guy and you know what I’m talking about.

Keep in mind, I don’t know a single person in Montreal and I speak very little French.

1) Are girls tolerant and/or approachable in Montreal?

Girls are approachable everywhere except certain countries in the Middle East where they may cut off your lips for speaking with women. Or if you are a registered sex offender.

2) Where is the best places to do approaches in Montreal?

There are literally hundreds and hundreds of bars, pubs, clubs, parties, after parties, raves, festivals and so forth. If you like day game, the University campuses are like Mcgill and Concordia are great. There are coffee shops loaded with hot young students. The mall is a massive underground network you could work all day. Certain Metro stops are great fishing spots.

There are many good streets and districts. Ask the locals. But most will say St. Laurent, Crescent Street, Gay Village, St Catherine, or St. Denis. I like anywhere in The Plateau. Old Montreal has many upscale clubs.

Learning French will help with French girls; however Montreal is a University city and is teeming with women from all over the world. English is the common tongue in the central core. I lived there for a year and spoke hardly any French and I had a great time. Although you should learn some French as it will definitely help with the beautiful and very sexually liberated French women.

3) How did you learn not to beat yourself up over a terrible approach? 

I laugh.

Failure is inevitable. Have you ever played a sport? Maybe you snowboard. Do you go home to cry to mommy every time you fall on your butt? No. You laugh it off, learn from your mistakes, get up and go again. Bascially suck it up little boy, time to be a man. Next!

4) I haven’t done an approach in almost over a year, do you think the learning curve is steep?

Yes. It is steep. The good news is you will have a great time learning the early stages. The beginning is difficult but very exciting. The first time you hold hands with a solid ten will have you laughing yourself to sleep.

This takes years to get good, and you will never master it. You will just get better and better with ups and downs. It took me three months of going out six nights a week in Montreal to pickup my first hottie. Learning pickup is like learning anything. It takes dedication, perseverance, belief and practice.

5) Do you know of any GOOD people to hang with in Montreal?

Google, “Montreal Lair.” Or just approach people and make friends. It takes effort to build a social circle. I would say find some roomates and get to know their friends. Or take up an interesting hobby. I brought my guitar and started playing in a band. I joined the local seduction lair, I went to parties with my roomates, I dated women and met their friends.

I met a guy that was really good looking and had many girlfriends. I spent time with him and he helped me indirectly. You need to look out for natural people. Many guys from the seduction community have the wrong ideas and will not help you. The most important teacher is yourself. You need to practice and learn from your mistakes.

6) What was your experience like in Montreal?

I loved it. Montreal is a fantastic place to live, party and work. It gets cold in the winter but even then, the amount of night life is staggering.

Don’t get too attached to your friends. Come summer most of the students go home or on vacation. Montreal got a bit lonely when all my friends went away. And during school most were too busy to hang out. But with the amount of new people to meet, live music, parties and so forth…who cares?! I would even go out alone. Do it. You will love Montreal.

Thank you so much for your guidance.

Word.

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