I’m not an Mpua

I often find myself surfing through various pua blogs and reading stories of guys claiming to have four new girls a week. It’s interesting stuff for sure. But for some reason I always leave these blogs with a sort of, sickly feeling. I’ve always had conflicting feelings about this whole success with women scene and the characters within it.

When I was younger and studying this stuff, I imagined what it would be like to bang three new girls a week. Three new girls a week! So I went out night, after night, after night. I went to fancy clubs with expensive drinks and snobby girls because that’s what the puas told me to do. And then one day it dawned on me.

I don’t like night clubs

They’re loud, expensive, and annoying. If I lived in a hot climate I would only teach day game and street game with the occasional bar.

If you’re a guy like me that likes to read books, play video games, and work on introverted hobbies like music, writing, and art—you don’t need to become a pickup artist douchebag and bang three new girls a week. Just tellin ya. It’s one way to meet more girls, and not the easiest way. But it is a great way to learn about influence.

Here are some easy ways to meet girls.

• Start a band
• Publish a book
• Throw house parties
• Be a dj
• Get good at karaoke
• Paint pictures and get involved in the art scene
• Go to college and make lots of friends
• Become a photographer and take pictures of hot girls
• Work for a cool magazine or blog
• Host a slam poetry night
• Be an actor or comedian
• Play sports well
• Direct a short film

Basically, do anything that gives you influence. Do something that puts you on stage and showcase your talent. Don’t have any talent? You can always cold approach!

I always considered cold approaching as a way to develop a skill, not a lifestyle.

A few years ago I went on a slutty rampage and slept with a bunch of girls I wasn’t even that attracted to. I got some warts that weren’t permanent, thank god. I got a hot girlfriend. Broke up with her and banged more girls. Why? Because I wanted to prove to myself that I was qualified to teach dating. Even though I have lists of happy clients, and I’ve dated many beautiful girls, I still felt like I wasn’t living the standard of what a dating coach should be. I should have expensive clothes, I should have a stripper on my arm, I should know the promoters of high end clubs, I should have big muscles, I should be attracted to tall blondes with big tits like the ones in muscle car ads. Why? Because what would they think of me? What if they thought I was a fraud?

Yesterday my roommate came into my room and asked me “Hey man. Just wondering. If you’re a dating coach, how come you don’t have a girlfriend? Don’t you need to look good for your clients?”

“Well, maybe yeah.” I said. And it got me thinking. How come I don’t have a girlfriend? Is it because I have a harem of girls at my beck and call? No. Is it because I like being single? Not really. Is it because my game sucks? Definitely not. My game rocks.

And then I realized why I don’t look, live or act like a typical pua, or like Hitch. I realized why I don’t have a girlfriend.

I don’t care.

I’m completely apathetic about the whole thing. I find more joy in writing my book or blog posts, or hanging out with my little brothers, or going to the gym or reading a good book, than going to a bar and hitting on chicks. When I’m working I meet girls, but I mostly focus on my clients. Sometimes I talk to girls at coffee shops and get their number. Sometimes I date girls from my social circle. But it’s really not something that keeps me up at night the way it did five years ago.

So disclaimer. I am not Mystery. I am not a pua pickup god. I’m not the world’s greatest lover. I don’t have lots of money or cool shit. But when I decide that I want a girlfriend and nice stuff, I’ll get it.  I would rather have one keeper than three dozen throw aways.

Learn pickup. Go to bars and clubs and malls and approach girls. When you know how to do this–drop it and go back to work on other areas of your life. Hemingway always said that women are a distraction from your job. Maybe he was jaded but I would rather be Hemingway than David Deangelo any day.

Moral of the story. Don’t compare yourself to others. Do what you want to do. Offer the service you are qualified for. But don’t let your ego push you around to fit the expectations of others.

I’m writing this in a café and there’s a girl here that looks like Winnie Cooper from the Wonder Years. She’s gorgeous. Maybe she’s single. Maybe she likes it that way. I’m gonna go find out.