How to Attract Younger Women – 23 Tips for Older Guys
Many older men want to know how to attract younger women. This isn’t creepy, or weird. It’s completely natural, and the way nature intended.
Being a man in his mid-forties who regularly dates women in their early twenties, I have a fair bit of advice for you.
So read on and I’ll give you the best strategies you as an older man can utilize to meet and attract the younger women of your dreams.
How to Read This Guide
Everything in this article is a broad, general brushstroke.
If you don’t want to read, here’s the Youtube video on how to attract younger women.
This is essentially a beginners guide. Not a full fledged dating product.
Seduction is a profoundly deep study of human psychology, and if this article was any longer it would become a book.
I’ll include links that go deeper into many of the topics I touch on like opening conversations, physical touch, sexual technique, and more.
Some of them will be links to other websites I write for.
First, if you want to attract younger women as an older man, let’s look at the dating apps.
Dating Apps For Meeting Younger Women
If your first strategy is “Tinder” then you’re in the wrong place.
Dating apps are just rubbish for men, and especially men over 40. The most attractive young women will simply filter you out with their preferred age settings.
The same goes for shorter men, overweight men, foreign men, and less-than-perfectly handsome men. If you’re not genetically gifted with good looks then you’re unlikely to meet younger women on dating apps. At least not in the Western world.
And while many younger women will gladly hook up with an older gentleman in real life, they won’t go actively seeking them on Tinder, Hinge, or Bumble.
So if you’re looking to attract younger women and live in America, Canada, Australia, The UK, Germany, or any first-world country, don’t even bother with dating apps.
You’re far better off learning how to cold approach.
Don’t believe me? Go try the apps for yourself, then come back and finish this article.
Examples of Men Who Date Much Younger Women – And could care less what people think about it
Understand that older men approaching, and dating younger women is totally normal, and not the slightest bit weird, or creepy.
Here’s a list of 10 celebrities who regularly date or marry much younger women.
Leonardo DiCaprio (Age: 46) – Known for dating younger women, the star has been in relationships with women like Camila Morrone, who is over 20 years younger.
Jason Statham (Age: 54) – He’s in a long-term relationship with Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, who’s 20 years his junior.
Johnny Depp (Age: 58) – Depp was in a relationship with Amber Heard, who is 23 years younger. He’s also been with hundreds of younger women.
Alec Baldwin (Age: 63) – He is married to Hilaria Baldwin, who is 26 years younger than him.
Hugh Hefner (1926-2017) – The late founder of Playboy was known for dating much younger women, including his third wife Crystal Harris, who was 60 years younger.
Sean Penn (Age: 61) – He has been in a relationship with Leila George, who is 32 years younger.
Mick Jagger (Age: 78) – The Rolling Stones frontman has a history of dating younger women, including Melanie Hamrick, who is over 40 years younger.
Harrison Ford (Age: 79) – Ford is married to Calista Flockhart, who is 22 years younger.
Kelsey Grammer (Age: 66) – He has been married multiple times, including to Kayte Walsh, who is 26 years younger.
Bruce Willis (Age: 67) – Willis is married to Emma Heming, who is 23 years younger.
I know you’re not a famous actor or rock star and that these people seem to have special privileges, and are entitled to fulfilling their wildest sexual fantasies with younger women, and they get a pass from polite society, while you’re not allowed to date women more than 2 years younger than you…
Right.
There’s a bit of a double standard there, isn’t there?
The big difference between the celebs and you, an older man looking for a younger girlfriend, is that they are rich and famous.
However, you can learn to carry yourself as if you’re rich and famous, which is almost as good, and will also attract younger women to you.
The Benefits of Dating Younger Women
Why should an older man want to date a woman who is ten, fifteen, or thirty years younger than him? That’s easy.
Younger women:
- Look great
- They’re fun
- They’re sexually exciting
- They’re inspiring
- They get your blood flowing
- They look up to you for wisdom and guidance
- They don’t have children yet
- They’re still skinny and fit
- They’re still fertile
- They are in touch with youth culture
And maybe you just like young women, and don’t know why. That’s totally fine too.
What are the cons of dating younger women?
- They can be naive
- They can lack wisdom
- They can be broke
- They can be too high energy
- They may miss all of your cultural references
- The can be annoyingly immature
There are other negatives, but hey if you’re here, you’re over fourty and want to date women in their twenties, I doubt you give a crap about the negatives anyway.
In my opinion, dating much younger women has far more positives than negatives. I do it all the time, and so should you.
I’m Over Fourty. Can I Get a Younger Girlfriend?
Yes, any older man can find a much younger, legal-aged girlfriend, but you need the right strategy.
First you must get your mindset straight.
Mindset #1
It is not creepy or weird to be attracted to, or fall in love with a younger woman. It’s completely normal and okay.
Mindset #2
Many younger women would love to try dating a much older man, they just haven’t had the opportunity yet, or they’re worried about being judged.
Mindset #3
You are worthy of being with any woman who is a legal adult, and it’s nobody’s business who you are with romantically.
What is Considered a Woman?
A woman is someone who is over the age of sexual consent.
It varies by country, but here in Canada, it’s sixteen. While I would not personally date a girl that age and don’t consider her a woman yet, it isn’t illegal. In America, it is between sixteen and eighteen.
I consider any female who is old enough to join the military and die for her country to be old enough to decide who she can sleep with.
Most guys over fourty are probably looking for “younger” women from ages 18 – 32, as this is the age of peak fertility, and probably why they’re the most physically alluring.
Is it Normal To Be Attracted To Women from 18 – 32?
Any man who tells you he’s not attracted to women from ages 18-30 is either lying or has a fetish.
Don’t believe me? Look at these age statistics from Eharmony, one of the world’s most popular dating apps.
Women’s peak attention from men is age 21, and for men, it’s 48.
That doesn’t mean younger women are actively searching for 48 year old men, far from it. But it does mean 48 year old men are not searching for 48 year old women.
What Will People Think About Me Dating Young Women?
Yes, what will people think if your girlfriend is a sexy 22-year-old Scandinavian Instagram model?
Ehhhh… who cares?
Who cares what anybody thinks about your romantic desires? If the attraction is mutual, It’s nobody’s business who you’re getting down with.
Life is very short and soon you will be dead. If you missed out on the joys of dating younger women in your youth, you better get started right now. You don’t have time to lose.
If a girl is of legal age, an adult, she can make her own decisions. Anyone who judges you is just envious of her beauty, or your skill with women.
Let the haters stew in their envy while you make sweet love to your young and beautiful girlfriend.
You won’t lose your job for having a hot young girlfriend, you won’t go to jail, you won’t get kicked off Facebook.
Quite the contrary, most people will think: “What does he have that she wants?”
And most will just look and think: “What a lucky guy.”
Do any of those “thoughts” affect you? Are you going to lose your inheritance because you like to date twenty-year-olds? Or thirty-year-olds?
Let the haters hate, let the daters date.
Ten More famous Men Who Date Much Younger Women
Scott Disick (Age: 38) – The reality TV star and entrepreneur has dated women like Sofia Richie and Amelia Hamlin, who are both significantly younger.
John Mellencamp (Age: 71) – The musician has been in a relationship with Meg Ryan, who is over 20 years younger.
Sean Connery (1930-2020) – The late actor was married to Micheline Roquebrune, who was 22 years younger.
Charlie Sheen (Age: 56) – Known for his past relationships with younger women, including Brett Rossi and Brooke Mueller.
David Foster (Age: 72) – The musician and music producer is married to Katharine McPhee, who is 34 years younger.
Alec Baldwin (Age: 63) – Baldwin’s wife, Hilaria Baldwin, is 26 years younger than him.
Jeff Goldblum (Age: 69) – He is married to Emilie Livingston, who is 30 years younger.
Richard Gere (Age: 72) – Gere is married to Alejandra Silva, who is 34 years younger.
Larry King (1933-2021) – The late talk show host was known for his multiple marriages, including one to Shawn King, who was 26 years younger.
Dane Cook (Age: 50) – The comedian has dated women like Kelsi Taylor, who is significantly younger.
Is it a conspiracy? Are all of these great entertainers brainwashed? Are they creepy weirdos?
Or… is it completely normal to date younger women? Even women as much as thirty years younger?
Yes. It’s normal.
Now that you understand it’s totally normal to date younger women, let’s talk about looks and attraction for younger women.
Do Looks Matter to Younger Women?
You don’t need to be the best-looking guy in town to attract younger women, but you must be in respectable shape.
If you’re fat, go on a diet, get a gym plan, and lose the dad bod. It’s the very least you can do.
Being young and overweight is doable, but being over fourty and fat just won’t work. Being older is already a handicap. Adding obesity is just a game killer. So cut the carbs, get a trainer, and hit the gym.
Don’t let being out of shape stop you from approaching women though. Just consider losing weight to be part of your self-improvement program.
Fashion and style
As for fashion and style. This is basic game 101.
Don’t dress like an old man or a nerd. Most older guys have no sense of style. It’s easy to know if you have a good style, people will tell you so.
If you still have hair, get a good barber who knows how to maximize your look.
If you don’t have a “cool” wardrobe, study fashion blogs, and fashion YouTube channels, or hire a personal style consultant.
As an older guy, you must look as cool as humanly possible. Remember, you’re already handicapped by your age, so you need to optimize your looks.
The key here is to put effort into looking attractive. That’s all. Your hair may be grey, you might have more wrinkles, or you may have a potbelly, but at least you look great in a blazer.
What are Young Women Attracted To in Older Men?
God didn’t design women to be attracted to good looks, height and youth alone. They have different desires – emotional desires.
Younger women are also attracted to:
- Strength
- Courage
- Talent
- Extroversion
- Positivity
- Intelligence
- Ambition
- Humour
- Wit
- Social status
- Wealth…
- and power, among other things
Seduction as a Science Can Seem Complicated
To be honest, female attraction psychology is deep like an ocean, and I should have written a book on it by now.
But here’s the good news, you don’t need to know a lot about it to start getting dates.
If you want a quick start, read “Double Your Dating” by David Deangelo.
While it’s a bit dated now it still provides a solid basis for understanding female attraction and basic game concepts like push-pull, cocky funny, and being the prize.
Knowing that stuff will put you leagues ahead of younger guys who don’t know this stuff yet.
Yes, it’s a bit dated but still a good start.
Or can sign up for private, one-on-one Zoom coaching with me or one of my coaches, which is the fastest and easiest way to learn.
Why Your Dating History Matters to Younger Women
If you’ve never had any game, don’t expect to attract women easily in your 40s and beyond. It gets harder to learn this stuff and you have a major handicap… your age.
Young women could care less if you’re a virgin or a retired porn star (aside from having a disease). But they won’t be interested in an older man who doesn’t know how to talk well and fuck well.
Both of these are skills developed over years of flirting and relationship experience.
If you lack success with women in your 40s, 50s, or 60s, you’re going to have a really tough time attracting younger women. However, if you did even moderately well in your youth, your success will be astronomically better.
If you lack dating experience don’t give up. You’ll just need to keep studying attraction psychology and learn to cold approach like everybody else.
Older Men and Money
The one thing older men usually have that young women don’t is money.
While using your resources to attract women is frowned upon, I consider it to be just another tool in your seductive arsenal.
While you don’t need money to attract young women, it sure doesn’t hurt.
Consider that you own your own home, you have a nice sports car, or a boat. These can be very interesting lifestyle additions for a girl who is eating rahmen to get through college.
Of course be aware of gold diggers and scammers. The general rule is if it’s too good to be true, it probably is. However, don’t live your life believing women only want you for your resources. That is not a confident mindset, and not sexy at all.
Older Men Must Have Game to Attract Younger Women
It doesn’t matter how old you are, if you don’t have rizz, if you don’t know how to get a girl’s phone number, the chicas won’t care.
My entire website, YouTube channel, and books are dedicated to teaching men how to improve their odds in the dating market. So, I highly suggest you start reading my blog, watching my videos, grab my books and sign up for the newsletter.
Confidence and Dating Younger Women
The one thing all women are attracted to is confidence.
So you must feel absolutely sure about your right to date younger women.
If you feel it’s wrong or weird to date younger women, then why should she feel any different?
There are plenty of women who will date older men, you just need to go out and find them.
The law of state transference states “Whatever you feel, she feels.” So if you feel like it’s weird or creepy to date a 23-year-old while in your 50s, then she will sense that and confirm your fears.
In relationships, women look to men for leadership. If you’re much older than her, she’s going to test you. She may test you about your age just to start.
You must act like you don’t care, and that dating younger women is completely normal for you. Once she sees that you’re not bothered, her hindbrain will register this as confidence, and confidence is very attractive.
- Confidence comes from experience
- Confidence is knowing that you have value to offer
- Confidence is standing bravely in the face of fear
- Confidence is having control over your thoughts and emotions
- Confidence is earned
- Confidence is sexy
When it comes to dating, the best way to gain confidence is by learning how to approach women, get dates, and have a lot of sex.
The road can be long, and difficult, but always fun.
The Reality of Having a Much Younger Girlfriend
Many younger women will have higher energy levels than you. Many will only be interested in your money. Many will be immature, egotistical, or just plain annoying.
Her social life may be radically different than yours. You may enjoy being with her, but not with her friends. She may want to party and you may not.
She may want a bad boy, not a nice man.
However, you will also have the excitement of a younger woman, her attention, her youthful body pressed against yours, and the feeling of pride when people see you with her in public.
Where to Find a Younger Girlfriend
As an older guy you’re probably not going to enjoy staying up all night at nightclubs or house parties and doing MDMA with 20-somethings until dawn.
Partying can be fun but at this stage of your life, you probably have responsibilities that involve getting up early and working.
Online dating apps are not likely to work for you, so your best bet is daygame.
The best places for daygame are:
The Mall
Approach women and strike up conversations about fashion, talk about food and the food court. or just go direct with a compliment.
The Beach
Ask her to toss a frisbee. Make sightful observations about other people on the beach. Remember to get her number before you leave.
Lounges, Bars
Happy hour bars, make small talk over a beer, talk about city life, culture, or funny things you saw on TikTok.
Festivals
The great thing about music festivals is that everyone there has something in common. you are part of a tribe. which makes people far more open to Friendly approaches.
Coffee Shops
Coffee shops are my personal favorite place to meet beautiful women. talk about the book she’s reading, have a conversation about your favorite coffee blends, or a philosophical idea you’ve been brewing for the last 2 months.
Nightclubs, bar and house parties
Learning how to approach women and groups of women at night, in bars and parties is an entire art form unto itself. As an older man you may not be as interested in these locations, but if they are still some of the best places to meet young women.
There’s a way to go about partying with younger people and not be the weird old guy. much of that has to do with your mindset.
Online networking groups like meetup.com, Facebook groups, etc
Meetup groups aren’t usually great for meeting younger women. If you find yoga Hip Hop interpretive dance therapy, you may get lucky. However, if you’re still intimidated by cold-approach it’s a good place to get warmed up socially.
The key advice here is that you go out and put effort into meeting women. You must have an active strategy and that involves taking specific right action.
How to Approach Younger Women
Older men can approach younger women the same way younger men do.
My entire business is built around teaching men how to approach women.
You have daytime and nighttime. Other than that you just have to choose the locations that work for you.
You can use either a direct opener, or an indirect opener.
Direct: I just saw you and thought you were cute. Hi, I’m Tony.
Indirect: I noticed you’re wearing converse with your dress and thought there’s a girl who has a fashion addiction.
Crafting great openers is an art form, and demands serious academic study.
If you don’t know how to approach women in the daytime I have a book called I Hope it’s Sunny Out.
And of course, you can always hire me for private coaching over Zoom.
Alternatively you could join my free community where we do free weekly workshops on topics like opening, conversation, escalating sexually, and much more.
What to Say When Meeting Younger Women
The #1 question I get from all men about dating younger women is “What do I say?”
Learning verbals is one of the most difficult skills to learn. I wish I could teach you in one article. But here’s a brief overview of how to talk to girls.
High, positive energy
Young women want to be with an older man for his strength, wisdom, and maturity. But maturity doesn’t mean “slow.” You need to have energy.
Energy doesn’t have to be athletic. It can be intellectual energy.
Charles Bukowski in his later years was famous for dating much younger women. That’s because he was a creative force, gifted at talking and holding people’s attention.
You can learn to have higher-energy conversations. Take public speaking or stand-up comedy courses. Make the effort to speak up and express your opinions. This is how you can convey your personality.
Positivity means you never, ever complain
It means you don’t get butthurt, angry, resentful, or jealous, even in the face of a female’s rejection of you.
Older men tend to carry a lot of emotional baggage. They’ve been around the block and life can become repetitive. For a young woman, everything is new and exciting. Don’t bring her down with your grumpy, negative outlook.
Try to see the world through young eyes, and express that in your conversation.
Give value
Boring conversations will not land you more dates with younger women.
Here’s a typical “nice older guy” conversation.
“So what are you doing today?”
“I don’t know. I think I’ll go to the gym, maybe meet some friends for coffee and go to the beach.”
“Do you work out a lot?”
“Yes.”
“Cool.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
Yawn. This is a prime example of taking value and giving nothing back in return. You are asking her to do all the work, all the thinking.
Here’s an example of giving value:
You: “What are you doing today?”
Her: “I’m going out for coffee, then to the gym, and the beach with friends.”
You: “I was a coffee addict until I realized what a junkie I’d become. I just love that buzz after an extra tall Mochachino. But that’s what the gym is for (flexes) you can’t keep a body like this on coffee and muffins alone. Which beach is your favourite? I love the beaches in Cuba the most.”
See how this hypothetical conversation is fun, exciting, silly, and entertaining? It leaves so many threads for her to run down. When was he in Cuba? Where does he work out? Is he actually addicted to mochachino or is he just teasing me?
Make insights, not observations
Here’s what most guys sound like when they approach a woman.
“I like your shoes/dress/outfit.” (Then he stands there waiting for her to do all the work.)
See how boring that is? It’s an observation. Here is an insight:
“I love how you’re wearing Converse with a dress. It says hey I want to feel pretty, but I’m not about to have uncomfortable feet. How many pairs of shoes do you own? A lot, I assume.”
Which one is going to hook her? Which one begs a response other than “Thanks?”
Push – Pull (Compliment – Tease)
Complimenting and teasing, otherwise known as push-pull, is a playful way to flirt that combines giving someone a genuine compliment with a light-hearted tease.
Here are 4 examples:
Appearance Compliment and Tease:
Compliment: “You look absolutely stunning tonight, by the way.”
Tease: “Although I must say, that outfit makes you look a bit too dangerous. Are you planning to rob a museum?”
Intelligence Compliment and Tease:
Compliment: “I’m really impressed by how smart you are.”
Tease: “But I have to wonder, do you ever dumb it down just to fit in with the rest of us mortals?”
Sense of Humor Compliment and Tease:
Compliment: “Your sense of humour is amazing. You had me cracking up.”
Tease: “Though, I have to warn you, my sense of humour can be pretty quirky. You might not be able to keep up.”
Confidence Compliment and Tease:
Compliment: “I love your confidence; it’s very cute.”
Tease: “But be careful, too much confidence can be dangerous. You might steal my spotlight.”
Cooking Skills Compliment and Tease:
Compliment: “You’re an amazing cook. That meal was delicious.”
Tease: “Although, I hope you’re not planning to challenge me to a cook-off anytime soon. I will destroy you.”
The key to complimenting and teasing effectively is to keep it light-hearted and ensure that the other person understands it’s all in good fun.
It’s a way to show interest and affection while keeping the interaction playful and entertaining.
It also sets you apart from all the boring “twenty questions” dates. “Where you from? What do you do? Where do you work? Oh, that’s cool.” Snooooore!
Conclusion
To sum it up, if you’re an older guy looking to date younger women, you’ve got some strategies to consider.
- Forget about relying solely on dating apps like Tinder; they might not be your best bet.
- Remember, even famous folks are into dating younger partners, so don’t feel weird about it.
- Dating younger women has its perks, like their youthful energy and physical appeal.
- Of course, there are potential downsides, like their lack of experience or immaturity.
- Your mindset plays a big role, so be confident and remember it’s your life and choices.
- Legal age matters, so be aware of the rules and respect them or suffer the consequences.
- Don’t let other people’s opinions hold you back; if you both click, go for it.
- Look at all those famous men dating younger women; it’s a common thing.
- Keep yourself in good shape. Get a gym pass and use it.
- When it comes to fashion and style, avoid dressing like an old man or a nerd. Consider getting a good barber to enhance your look. If your wardrobe isn’t up to par, study fashion resources or hire a style consultant. Looking cool is crucial as an older guy, so put effort into your appearance.
- Young women are attracted to various qualities beyond looks, such as strength, intelligence, humour, and ambition.
- While female attraction psychology is complex, you can start by reading resources like “Double Your Dating” by David Deangelo.
- Your dating history matters; prior experience can significantly impact your success with younger women.
- Confidence is key in attracting younger women, so embrace your desires and radiate confidence.
- Remember the law of state transference: what you feel, she feels.
- Confidence comes from experience, knowing your value, and controlling your thoughts and emotions.
- While dating younger women has advantages, there may also be challenges like differences in energy levels and interests.
- If you’re an older guy, nightclubs and parties might not be your scene; consider alternative places like malls, parks and cafes to meet younger women.
- Approach women with high energy and positivity; don’t bring negative vibes to the conversation.
- Engage in conversations that give value and spark curiosity.
- Make insights, not just observations, to create engaging interactions.
- Employ push-pull techniques to playfully compliment and tease, keeping the conversation lively.
- Keep interactions light-hearted and fun to stand out from typical, boring conversations.
Now, I hope you’re ready to enter the exciting world of dating younger women with style and charm.
If you want a headstart, grab my free “Fearless Approach Blueprint.”
It has one amazing trick to give you incredible confidence when approaching beautiful younger women. You will also be subscribed to my newsletter.
Good luck!
Tony Depp
