You Are Not Different or Special

I don’t usually tell people about my coaching job.

I tell them I’m in marketing. Maybe one day I’ll come out of the closet–go public. But I really do like my personal life to be private. Even if going public would help me attract clients.

Every so often I tell people I’m a dating coach. Common reactions are surprise, intrigue, amusement, and even repulsion, indignation, irritation. It swings the spectrum.

So I usually keep it to myself. The ones that want help will take my coaching. The others don’t really matter.

Guys tend to get fascinated. They imagine themselves being a P.I.M.P–wooing women around the world, or finding their love. So they inquire about my services.

Maybe you are a nice guy, or a punk rocker, or a successful salesman, or an athlete. By admitting you need help with women, you are admitting a fault. You’re questioning your beliefs, ideals, and identity.

You worked so hard to create it.

There is nothing wrong with you. In fact…

There Is No You.

You are flesh and bone, and a bunch of exploding bursts of electricity surrounded by water and fiber.

You are a soul.

You are an information collecting, question asking machine, comparing machine. You are not your story, or your possessions or your friends.

You Are Not Your Memories.

That’s all an identity is: A collection of your favourite memories. An attachment to a story you created.

And it took so much work to decide on what clothes to wear, what music to listen to, what books to read, what tv shows and video games and food you like.

Just let that all go? No way! That’s me! That’s who I am!

To go out and approach 500 women would force you to confront what you fear most…

You would have to ask yourself deep questions about your identity and accept the falsehood of everything you thought to be true.

But here’s the worst part….You ask yourself this horrifying question…

What Would People Think Of Me!?

If you go out and try to approach women, you will make a fool of yourself. Your friends will think you are weird. You will be rejected. You will be creepy and everyone will hate you.

Here is my response to that. To all of these objections, reasons, justifications…

LOL.

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