How To Break Out of The Friend Zone (With Girls)
I liked this girl when I was about fifteen years old. She was part Indonesian, and cute as a mouse. I managed to invite myself over to her house and the sexual tension was palpable. I could tell she liked me too, so I made a move. I kissed her.
And that was the last time. She put me in the closet, literally, so that her father wouldn’t find me. I ended up sleeping in that closet, with her supple teenage body just a few feet away, outside that closet door. I never got another shot with her. And she became my highschool “best friend.”
Looking back all I had to do was say: “Hell no I’m not sleeping in that closet.” I would have kept her respect, and probably ended up back in her bed.
We’ve all been there: the dreaded friend zone.
It’s almost never by choice, and the story is a common one. Boy meets girl, boy wants something romantic but for some reason he’s either not able to communicate it, or she’s just not interested.
Then you get slotted as “friend” material.
Let me help you so that this never happens again.
Why you end up “Just friends”
The answer to why you end up friended is nuanced. But it almost comes down to “nice guy syndrome.”
The root of nice guy syndrome is people-pleasing.
In Robert Glover’s hit book No More Mr Nice Guy, he says: “By trying to please everyone, Nice Guys often end up pleasing no one — including themselves.”
And that’s exactly why nice guys always end up just friends with the Beautiful women. They’re more interested and pleasing women than being assertive, which is in essence, attractive to women.
Being pleasing is typically a feminine trait. whereas being selfish is masculine. The word “selfish” is seen in a negative light because it conveys A lack of interest in group dynamics. However selfishness can also be the desire to protect and provide for your group, which is ultimately altruistic.
On a sociobiological level a woman needs to align herself with a selfish man, as it would be her role to raise children and act as a mother figure for the tribe. Her survival depends on aligning herself with a man who is inherently selfish yet instinctually driven to protect and provide for the group.
In that sense selfishness isn’t a bad thing, as this is a moral stamp we place on men. The truth is that modern men have been brainwashed to act and think more like women than men. As they say, good times make weak men.
It’s not that women are weak. Far from it. It’s that we’re trained to be less selfish, and more empathetic, which is the norm in times of peace and prosperity. However, it turns men into Cheeto munching, porn addicted pot heads.
While this paradigm might make us more docile and malleable – It does nothing to attract women as mates either – as they see us as just another female in the tribe rather than a sexy, independent man.
It’s the woman’s job to provide comfort, empathy, and luxury. where the man should be the one who is able to say no, it’s time to move this camp, it’s time to go hunting, it’s time to go to war, it’s time to make babies.
And this is why the nice guy is forever slotted into the friend zone. Basically, it’s his inability to say “no” and act selfishly.
And the most selfish thing you can say to a woman is “No I don’t want to be your friend. I want something more than that.”
The #1 best way to get out of the friend zone
The best way to get out of the friend zone is to never end up in the friend zone.
The second best way is to tell her you have enough friends.
Of course, telling her that you have enough friends might mean losing her as your friend forever..
And Men know this. To tell the girl that they’re crushing on the truth about their feelings could mean rejection. Because if you tell her that you’re not interested in being her friend, the implication means that you want to be her lover.
Therefore if she keeps you in her life there will always be this underlying desire left unfulfilled and she knows it.
How to Never End Up as “Just Friends”
Most men are willing to settle as a friend because they have no other dating options.
Usually the object of their desire is beautiful, which fries their brain, and causes them to act as a useful tool; a boyfriend without benefits.
Beautiful women have this power over weak men and they know it. So it starts off with little favors. They’ll ask you to pick them up at the airport, or help them move their furniture to a new apartment, etc. And you will act on these favors hoping to get some affection in return.
The best friend zone movie I’ve ever seen is There’s Something About Mary. In this movie starring Ben stiller, many of the characters are vying for the attention of a beautiful blonde girl. they all act as her emotional doormat, do favors for her, and even act being crippled… just to be close to her.
What none of the men in this movie do is simply ask her on a date. or just tell her how they feel. These guys have no game. They can’t say “No” to the friend zone.
What we call “game” is the ability to attract a woman using our charisma, while simultaneously escalating the interaction towards a sexual conclusion. Basically, game means being good at flirting, which nice guys just aren’t good at. If they had any game they wouldn’t get slotted in the friend zone.
If She Says “Let’s just be friends.”
When she tries to put you in the friend zone, you say: “I have enough friends.”
It may seem harsh, but I’ve had multiple clients go from being a good buddy to a lover, simply by saying “No” to the friend zone.
Of course you risk losing her forever, as a friend or a lover. But would you rather live dishonestly never telling her how you feel? Or be the friend who’s shoulder she cries on when Chad doesn’t text her back?
You don’t need to say this verbatim. You can be more eloquent.
“I don’t think I can be your friend. I see you as more than that.”
If you don’t mind having her as a friend you can always ask her to be your wing girl. She could be a powerful ally in your dating adventure, and even help you hook up with her other hot friends.
If You’re Already in The Friend Zone
If she’s already in the friend zone… I’m sorry. But you’re in a deep hole that isn’t easy to dig out of.
But there are options.
The reason you’re here is because:
- You weren’t able to create a feeling of attraction in her.
- You failed to communicate your attraction for her.
And here’s the brutal truth again. If you want to get out of this, you might lose her as a friend, forever.
You need to make a move, or tell her that you’re hot for her. And if you’re in deep this might not be a long enough ladder to get out. She may not have even considered the possibility of sleeping with you until now.
So you tell her, and then you give her time.
For most guys who are this deep, she’s going to say “No” to the lover zone. But at least now she knows, and can think about it, process it, consider it.
At least now she respects you as a man, a potential lover, and not her emotional tampon.
Use Pre-Selection, FOMO, and Jealousy
Beautiful women have a cheat code.
they have an unconscious desire to be romantically with men who are attractive to other women.
we call this pre-selection.
imagine a caveman tribe. a woman doesn’t have the muscles of a man, or the desire and instinct to hunt we’re fighting wars. so her best chance for survival is to align yourself with a powerful man. but how do you know who the most powerful men in your tribe are?
that’s easy. you just look to the men who have already been chosen by other women. if they like him it must be for a reason.
you could call this jealousy, or fear of missing out.
if you want to get out of the friend zone then date another woman. she will go from seeing you as that lovable nice guy to a man who’s attractive to other women. this will change how she sees you. instead of a friend, she’ll see you as a lover.
of course if you get a new girlfriend you might not even want her anymore. win win.
Conclusion
If you want to get out of the friend zone forever you have to:
never end up in the friend zone and the first place.
be willing to say no and lose her forever.
find another girlfriend and Trigger her pre-selection.
the best way to learn all this is by learning game.
you can do this by hiring me and I can even give you a free coaching call just click this by hiring me and I can even give you a free coaching call just click this link and book a discovery call now.
Or you can sign up for my conversation genius course which has over 70 hours of content that will surely make you amazing with women.
until next time
Tony Depp
