Is it Okay to Have Sex With Your Girlfriend When She’s Sleeping?

Alexander@datepsych asks his readers if it’s okay to initiate sexual protocols with your partner while they’re asleep.

The data says yes. Only ten percent of both women and men saw this as a negative experience. I’m not sure how many people were polled, or their demographics.

How did men and women who experienced sexual contact while asleep perceive it?

Touching or caressing your body, kissing you, attempting to perform oral sex, attempting a sexual act, etc. Try to imagine any physical advances to initiate sex that may have occurred.

This assumes that the girl you initiate sex with is someone you’re actively fucking, and not a stranger in the hostel bunk above you.

Personally, I love waking up to a woman suckling on my love rod.

You’re there having a dream about getting your big toe stuck in an astral vortex and wake up to a warm surprise wrapped around your meat. Woohoo! As long as it’s not my priest, I’m down.

I also enjoy waking up a woman with a little suck, poke and tickle. Most women are down with the wake-n-poke, but if they aren’t, they’ll just tell you “No thanks. Not now.” You have to respect that.

Usually, she will go brush her teeth, clean herself up, and get back in the sack and ready for action.

In the current climate, it seems like you need a written consent form for just about anything. Brush against a woman on a crowded subway and you may end up with a #metoo cancel mob coming for your balls.

It’s good to know that something as fun as a wake-n-poke with a consensual love slave… err, hot girlfriend, is still acceptable, and even admirable.

Of course, this doesn’t count if your girl is unconscious and unable to wake up and enjoy it. That would be… bad. Not that she would know… err. This blog is for entertainment purposes only.

If you’re unsure whether your partner is into a wake-n-poke, just ask. “Hey, have you ever been awakened with your lover already inside you?”

If she says yes, then ask if she’d like you to wake her like that.

If she says no, ask her if she would like to try.

If you’re really gangster, don’t ask at all and just go for it. Fuck it. But if you end up famous one day, don’t be surprised to get the Russell Brand treatment.