Dating: The Real Girl vs The Trial Version

Did you know that when you date a girl long term, you actually date two different women? 

There’s the real girl—the one who hides, and is yet to be revealed—and the trial version. 

The trial version is sweet, caring, attentive, fun, and open minded. 

The real version farts and burps, has multiple nervous ticks, addictions and emotional issues. 

Your girl is also experiencing the trial version of you. 

The trial version can last anywhere from a few months, to several years, to forever. There could be a case that we never truly reveal ourselves to our partners, and possibly for the best. 

The Trial Version 

You stay out late with your buddies getting plastered and stumble home at 4 am. Your live-in girlfriend wakes up, laughs at how silly it is that you’re wasted, and asks if you had a good time. In the morning she makes you breakfast, and massages your back while feeding you Tylenol. When you’re feeling a bit better, you decide to level up your Orcish warrior in your favorite mmorg. She sits on your lap and patiently watches, because she also enjoys video games, at least since you taught her why they’re so awesome. In fact, she’s adopted an interest in most of your hobbies. That’s one of the reasons why you love her so much. After you’re done slaying a dragon she pulls you to the bedroom, sucks you to sweet oblivion, and goes to work. 

The trial version of a girlfriend is the happiest period of a relationship. Some call this the honeymoon period. Both of you will be on your best behavior. 

Human Nature is Nasty and Brutish

Our base human instincts aren’t always pretty, or civil. Thankfully we have customs and laws to keep us in-line. Otherwise we’d all remain wailing infants, or act like sociopathic criminals, humping everything with genitals, stealing and throwing poop at each other. 

In ways, I feel like all of modern society is a mass cultural trial version, and apocalypse is just around the corner. This may be true, but if you enter any relationship with a prediction of doom, you’ll manifest it. You have to remain positive, and enthusiastic, for her sake as well as yours. 

Societies and relationships work because we trust in the institutions, the banks, the government, our lovers—that when we need them to function, they do. We want our money to be in the savings account, where we left it, otherwise what good are banks? When banks fail, society falls apart. In the same way we want to trust that one year in, our girlfriend isn’t going to turn into a raging, incoherent, jealous, controlling, needy, psychopath.

We want the “real” girl to be just like the trial version. But we shouldn’t be naive, either. 

Relationship Insurance

This is what insurance is for: in case of disaster. If there’s a fire, an earthquake, a war… or a psychopathic lover, we have assurance that we can start again. 

That’s what Game is: to a relationship, having “Game” is an insurance policy, that if the “real” girl turns out to be so far removed from the trial version, we can cut our losses, pay the deductible and start from scratch. 

Why be aware of trial version in Girls? Isn’t that negative thinking? Betting that your lover will become a raging lunatic is negative, but it’s also intelligent. Too many men are blinded by “love” or the chemical high of being near a beautiful, vibrant woman in the prime of her life. They don’t think straight. They’ll open their wallets, their homes, and their lives to a girl within days, or weeks of meeting them. 

I was on a date with a hot little Ukrainian girl. I took her to a park, and during our walk we began to passionately kiss. After, she said “Okay, you can move in with me! I can cook, and clean, and do whatever you want! I am a great girlfriend.” 

For most men this would be a lottery. A beautiful Euro lady wants to be your sex slave, and maid! Hoorah! But because of life experience, I realized, this was the Trial version. Nothing is so good and true that it should move this quickly without disaster. 

As soon as you give a woman everything, she takes it. Always make her wonder, and work for you. As soon as you hand her the world, she becomes bored, loses respect, and begins to wander. 

Trial Version Over

The trial version can last a day, to many years. You’ll find someone’s true colours when they’re the least content, or the most unhappy about some situation. 

• If she’s jealous, you’ll find out when she hears or see’s you talking to other attractive women. 
• If she’s a gold digger, you’ll find out with your credit card statement, or she’ll moan that you never go to “nice” places (which you must pay for) or take vacations (you pay for). 
• If she’s a cheater, you’ll notice a lack of affection, or attention, and a sudden and prolonged disinterest in having sex. It will feel more like she’s doing her duty than getting laid. 
• If she’s lazy (and you live with her) you’ll notice the chores piling up, the dishes growing mould, the carpet becoming gritty. Or you’re the only one doing chores. 
• If she’s a depressive, the peppy, happy energy will dwindle, and be replaced with a somber, blue sadness. 
• If she’s an angry type, a quick rising fury, will manifest after the smallest infraction. You left some toast on the counter, you didn’t text back, you forgot an appointment, you played video games for too many hours. Something will cause screaming fits that make no logical sense. 

Saving The Relationship After the Trial Period? 

When the trial version ends, you might be in denial. You may cling to the hope that the fun, vibrant, joyful, eager to please girl will return. But she won’t. The only thing you can do is compromise. You can alter your perception of her, or create a new relationship contract. This means sitting down and talking out your problems, likely with a counsellor present. 

But if you have an insurance policy, you can dump her and go find a new girl, to go through the trial version all over again. 

That’s unless you find a Real Girl. 

What’s a Real Girl?

Someone is considered “real” when they present their most “authentic” self. Upon meeting them, they lay themselves bare. You can discover their strengths, weaknesses, talents, habits, and vices within a short period of time. You might be able to meet a nice girl, and accurately predict she’ll be a fantastic girlfriend, or wife. How? 

Intuition and experience. 

Only by dating and sleeping with many, many women, or by having many long term (1-4 year) relationships, will you develop the third eye for “relationship worthy” women. 

At the same time, it may take you ten or twenty years to become the sort of man that these real women would want to be with. 

Relationship Tests

How do you find out if they’re going to be psychotic? Is there a test? A quiz perhaps? In a way, yes. 

You can ask them indirectly through “hypothetical story” situations, and then test them in real life, to gauge a reaction. In a way, this sets up a relationship contract. Example. Say you’re having a conversation with your new girl. 

You: “You know what I can’t stand. Jealousy. I used to have this girl, and if I went to a party with her and looked at, or talked to any other women, she’d be so incredibly angry with me. Then she’d just start acting crazy”. 

Her: “Really? How so?” 

You: “Well, she’d give me the cold shoulder. She’d be angry at me for anything, like leaving my shoes in the wrong place. But she just wouldn’t tell me why she was actually angry. Passive aggressive stuff”. 

Her: “So what happened?” 

You: “I dumped her! I don’t want to date a jealous, passive aggressive control freak. I like confident girls… like you. You’re not like that. I hope not, anyway”. 

A conversation like this sets the frame that you won’t tolerate jealous, passive aggressive, controlling women in your relationships. Now she understands a few of the relationship rules. If she nods her head “Oh yes, this is bad behavior”, then she’s basically agreeing to the contract. If she states straight out “I would never do that. I would bring a girl home and fuck her with you!” then you have a real keeper, or a total slut. 😉

You can also be very direct, and just tell them your rules: “If you act like xyz I’ll walk from this relationship”. And though, it’s a bit harsh, the bluntness can be effective for some women. Others won’t like this sort of contract negotiation as it seems “controlling”. 

Often, it’s the “not knowing” what to do in a relationship that drives people crazy. “How do I keep him/her happy?” Most dating advice for women is based around “how to sexually please” or “How to emotionally manipulate” her man, rather than a deep dive towards self-awareness, or actual functional psychology. 

The vast majority of men are as blind as the women are—and that’s why they’ll be single or divorced when the trial version ends, as it always does. 

Hopefully after the trial version ends, you’ve found a real girl.