How To Create A Connection With Women

I’ve learned so much about women by talking to women.

My friend Cynthia is dating a new guy, but she’s about ready to end it.

“We don’t really have a spiritual connection.” She told me. “It’s like we just have these superficial conversations. Not like you and I have. It’s like he doesn’t care about who I am.”

Why do I have “a spiritual connection” with this girl I dated briefly many years ago, while the guy she’s seeing doesn’t?

Because I focus on listening to her.

I mean usually. Sometimes we hang out, and I ramble on and on about my bullshit, and she listens to me. We take turns. That’s what friends do.

When someone is telling me something, instead of waiting for my turn to share my epic life advice, instead, I might say nothing, and nod my head; and at the same time try to absorb what that person is attempting to express.

And when it’s my turn to talk instead of laying into a lecture about my experience, instead I say something like,

“Interesting. Why do you feel that way?”

Or I just nod my head and smile.

Everyone wants to feel “heard.”

Everyone wants to feel like they are interesting, and appreciated, and understood, and cared for. We spend so much time absorbing information, from Internet especially. Not everyone has a blog, or paints, or plays in a band, or plays a leadership role in their community. People want to be heard. They want to know that they have value.

And especially so with beautiful women who are treated like their beauty is the only talent that matters.

Men are notorious for either having nothing to say, or never shutting up about themselves, and their ideas. I’m super guilty of this, and that’s why I make a conscious effort on focused listening. I talk a lot.

It’s not fucking easy. Especially considering I’m a dating coach and people pay me for my motivational lectures. It’s hard to switch off that desire to share my point of view.

Looking back at all the dates I’ve had, some of the best were when I was tired, and didn’t say much at all. Instead I just asked questions, and listened. Others I was the pied piper, like a professional comedian, or a rake of the highest order and never heard from her again.

Here is a key to building deep, deep rapport:

Give a shit about her, and express it by letting her talk, while you listen.

Now, this doesn’t apply so much if you’re at a rippin party and blurting out dick jokes while sucking on a hotties neck. That’s something else. Being a great seducer, a masterful communicator is like any skill. You need to be adaptable, flexible—Like a circus midget, or a microwaved raspberry liquorice.

***I’m in Vancouver at the moment. I’m accepting clients for private coaching and willing to travel. Consider my mentorship program, a month of one on one coaching designed to take you to the next level with maximum exposure in field.***