Afraid of What People Think of You Approaching Girls? Be The Wolf, Not The Sheep

As western men, one of our most unconscious and ingrained anxieties, is the irrational fear that if we approach a woman, people in the vicinity might see us, or hear us, and condemn our action intrusive, creepy, or harassing.

Look at the words: “Intrusive,” “Creepy,” “Harassing.”

These terms chatter in our subconscious, like stifling, villainous trolls. Where did they come from? I blame a culture of coddled men, raised in single parent homes, brainwashed by a fem-centric media that focuses on all the nasty things that men do, or have done throughout history. We can’t make a dick joke without worrying that we’ll be shamed as sexist on social media. So that’s part of it, but we’re not here to point blame. We’re here to focus on a new way of thinking.

“Intrusive,” “Creepy, “Harassing.”

This internal process betrays a deep, deep insecurity. Do you see your value as so very low—are your intentions so incredibly dishonourable, that you anticipate people will hate on  you, simply for trying to be social, make new friends, or get laid?

There’s an ancient and wise saying:

“The wolf does not concern itself with the opinions of sheep.”

I am referring to critics.

And besides, what’s wrong with wanting to get laid? NOTHING. I love having sex. Most people, and especially women, want to get laid. It’s just a taboo subject. We’re afraid of being shamed. For some reason there is a societal stigma that if you hook up with someone it is supposed to have “just happened.” But putting effort, or employing strategy in order to score is manipulative, or bad, or creepy. What?

So say it: “I want to get laid.” Tell the truth—at least to yourself. You don’t have to shout it from a rooftop; just know that having the desire to pursue women, with the intention of charming one or two for a date, isn’t a bad, nasty thing.

Do you feel that you are a bad person, and following your passion is bad? Are you like a small child, who is afraid of being scolded by Big Daddy? No. You are a man, and you live in a free society. You respect a woman when she say’s “No thank you,” or “I have a boyfriend.”

And if she gets creeped out by your approach…well, that’s her right. Talking to strangers is not illegal.

But you’re probably more worried about people seeing, or hearing you during your approach. You’re worried about haters. Well here’s some advice:

Fuck Haters

Women loooooove meeting charming, new men. And that’s who you are. You might not know it yet, and you might come off as weird, or nervous. So ladies, I’m sorry for that. I’m not as sorry to the women who experience the result, who experience it numerous times with a man of legendary skill. A man who is socialized, confident, and follows his passion is rare. It’s so rare, most of you can’t recognize it, even when it’s right in front of you.

You men are (probably) normal, heterosexual males, with natural needs and desires. Just like Justin Bieber. You are not rapists, or creepy, or intruders, or harassers. So ignore those thoughts. Change your inner narrative to something that will help instead of hinder you from finding success and happiness.

There is nothing weird or creepy about interacting with strangers. There is nothing wrong with desiring a woman you find attractive, and there is nothing intrusive or harassing about sharing this with the world, or taking proactive steps. 

Let them see you. Let them hear you. For you are powerful, social, free, bold and brave. Take up space, be seen, be heard, be felt. You are a man, and you should be proud to be one.

By approaching a woman you find attractive, you stand out from the horde of timid, mediocre losers who hide their passion.

You have one life, and it is an incredibly quick ride.

I have 99 problems but people knowing I have a dick and balls isn’t one. Considering women are attracted to leadership qualities, If you fret over triviality, you will not attract quality women.

In pickup and seduction, the weak, timid guy loses. And just try to live a fun and fulfilling life without upsetting somebody. Do you know how many Internet haters I have? I get hate mail from people who have never met me. Has anyone ever mocked me for approaching a girl? Sure…jealous men.

Look at Han Solo: He had the reputation of a scoundrel. Yet viewers loved him because he lived authentically. And the true self is always shining through. You can act like a rogue, but that does not make you a bad person. Sharing your desire, your sexuality in a funny, brave, and charming way…that is commendable. I applaud you for trying to improve your life, and the lives of the beautiful women you come in contact with.

So let them sit in their judgy chair and be judgy. That’s their little game. You have yours and it’s a big game. You are a creator, you are social, you are fun, ambitious and truly powerful.

Are you worried about being judged, or categorized? I’m sorry, but that’s going to happen anyway. Every day you are being categorized. You wore a pair of dirty jogging pants to the store? Someone judged you as uncleanly. You made a dick joke at the company bbq? someone judged you as sexist. It happens all day, every day. 

As for being “creepy”—that’s the risk you have to take. Risk creepy.

Every week I get emails from haters telling me how wrong I am. That I’m teaching men to harass women. This is my online life. But in real life, whenever someone has seen me or my client approach a girl, we are applauded. It is very impressive, this display of courage. To make yourself vulnerable to rejection and embarrassment, and then laugh it off as the minor experience it is—is inspirational.

Fuck haters, and their miserably, snivelling judgements. Let them squirm with their blossoming self-awareness of their undesirability or cowardice while you approach and flirt with the most charming and beautiful women.

Be the wolf—not the sheep.