Youth, Age, Apathy and Regret

I remember when I turned 27

A wave of dread swept over me. I hadn’t travelled the world. I’d only had one girlfriend, and slept with only a small handful of girls. I wanted to write a book but didn’t know how, or what about.  And now I was old and it was over. I’d never have the amazing experience of being a rockstar, banging lots of young, hot girls, publishing stories and partying on foreign beaches in romantic countries.

I was wrong. It happened. It still is. 

Heading into my forties I don’t see any end to it. To a fault. I have disposable income and am the most attractive to younger women than I’ve ever been. I’ve published a few books. I have a small business that grants me lots of freedom to pursue my art and hobbies.

My sense of identity at 39 is far more solid than at 27

When you know who you are, where you’re going, and have a wealth of life experience; combined with game, this is a potent attractant.

Except for one problem: I don’t have a huge interest in chasing women, young or old. It’s like a video game I’ve played too many times. I’m like a martial artist who is in his prime, yet tired of being punched in the head and now prefers to teach.

Isn’t that what every single guy wants? The power to have beautiful younger women fall in love with them? In reality, it’s a bit of a paradox.

Young girls in their early to mid twenties who haven’t yet realized their own passions, whether that’s to be an actress, a corporate lawyer, a doctor or a mother. When they find a man they can love, will often relinquish all their previous dreams and passions for a new one: her man and his interests. She relinquishes her individual purpose for that of her man. Her man becomes her purpose. This fulfills some ancient program. And in return, the man wants to protect and provide for her. This used to be the deal. She would be the wife, he would be the provider. 

Older men want the youthful charm and fertility of a young woman, but not the youthful naivety, vanity, flakiness and insecurity

Young women tend to be chameleons. Are you into cars? Now they’re into cars. Into fitness? Now they’re into fitness. Into writing? Now they’re into writing. 

Finding a young woman who is a lioness, and not just a chameleon, is rare and wonderful. These women are usually married young. Some guy finds them and bends the knee.

Becoming a chameleon is a solid seductive strategy. Find out what your man is into and follow his passions. After all, it’s normally the man’s job to attract the woman, and her job to keep him around. Be interested in his interests and you will have plenty to talk about.

But merely parroting a man’s interest is not enough to create the love bubble that will keep him around

Women need their own identity, their own interests, so that they can offer a man some value — other than the sweet allure of their short lived youth. 

I recently went out with a young, beautiful Ukrainian girl. When I asked her what her passions were, she told me she loved dancing. But later on she let me know she was also a great cook, and if I ever wanted to live with her, she would clean the house, give me massages after work, and take care of me. Not a bad pitch. I’ve been thinking about it ever since.

I can’t imagine a Canadian girl ever selling me on her cooking, massaging and cleaning abilities. Why should she? What can a man offer her, when she can do everything for herself? She don’t need no man. And often they end up in their forties, single mothers, not needing no man. And no man needs her either.

On the other side, a young man who conditions himself to forever chase pleasure, to forever seek short term relationships, will lack the wisdom that comes with a developed, long lasting romantic and loving experience.

The value of an older woman is her wisdom, her confidence, her experience and skills — the things she can teach you. A good older woman is able to talk about philosophy, art, politics, sports, travel, and a range of topics. She also has her own money, apartment, car, and is willing to share her wealth. But if she isn’t slender, shapely, and youthful, she will still lose out to younger, more noticeably fertile women.

The value of an older man is his personal and social power, wisdom, and resources. But his youth has little bearing on his sexual market value — outside of polite society’s hen shack.

That’s the nature of the human condition. It’s a bit of a cruel joke played on women

Just as they come into their intellectual and spiritual power, they lose their physical allure. It must be frustrating to finally find yourself, and lose out to 20 year old college students. What a sham they’ve been sold. 

A female’s seductive powers bloom and wilt as a flower through a short spring, while a man grows like an oak, deepening its roots and providing shelter and strength for all the saplings.

It’s difficult to talk about the reality of ageing, and sexual market value between men and women — without angering women

I can butter it up for them, tell them that they will be attractive and beautiful forever, and that men are just shallow, sinful creatures. Men who desire younger women are forever man-children in an age of Playstations and Viagra. That these men don’t know what a real woman is.

I would be lying

If I was a parent, I would advise my daughters to date men who were at least ten years older than them. I would advise them to spend less time broadcasting their young flesh on social media, and more time reading books and becoming wise. I would advise them to learn male psychology, to study and appreciate it, rather than despise and mock  it. To stay healthy and in shape. To not spend too much time partying. To live in reality and decide what future they’d rather have: a loving family with a stable, well adjusted husband, or a life of yolo and corporate servitude.

If I was a parent I’d advise boys to read a lot of books, travel the world, develop talents and sleep with as many women as possible. To stay healthy and start their own business. Because only by sleeping with and dating a lot of women, you will come to understand yourself, and your relation to them. You’ll improve yourself to the point where when you decide to settle down and have a family, you’ll have the wisdom, talent and the resources to retain the one you prefer, rather than settle out of fear and loneliness.

But I’m not a parent. I’m the product of divorce, of a society that tells women they can marry a prince charming at 40. That tells them single motherhood is noble and good.

That tells men they don’t have to ever grow up, like Peter Pan. That tells us marriage and kids is a scam.

That tells us to wait for the perfect beautiful Unicorn and we deserve no less, no matter how lazy and ignorant we are.

The society of welfare and video games and social media and anti-depressants and instant gratification.

Is this the age of apathy and regret? I hope not. I hope we wake up.

It’s going to get worse. Soon we’ll be fucking and marrying robot versions of ourselves, or just drifting off into the augmented dream world that realizes our visions for us. Where we can simulate all the hedonism, base pleasure, attention–and even the love we desire — from the comfort of our couches.

 

When that time arrives, age truly won’t matter.