The Power of a Man’s Word
Have you heard The Phrase: A Man’s Word?
Of course you have. “A man’s word,” or “A man is only as good as his word.” It’s an old cliche, rarely used outside of conversations with your Grandpa.
And is it even true?
You could be as good as your money, or your status, your image or your skill-set. But that’s all superficial stuff.
Your word is directly linked to your honour, trustworthiness and integrity.
A man of his word is able to reach his full masculine potential.
Imagine a Man’s Word
You’re a brave soldier. You give your word to protect your outpost. But… you fall asleep and everyone is slaughtered.
Or you make a business deal, and give your word not to be a cheat. But you do cheat, and get caught.
You tell your woman you’re going to be loyal and monogamous… then she finds you at the local brothel, playing the piano with a harlot on your lap.
Your word is your:
- Responsibility
- Integrity
- Honour
- Trust
- Loyalty
- Truth
- Professionalism
- Style
- Consistency
- Dependability
Without your word, you’re nobody
Just another human flicking around your society, breaking promises and making grand empty gestures. You’re a liar and a cheat, a small time value sucker of low character, best set to clean toilets, or sell cigarettes in prison.
I’ve had a few clients sign up for my coaching programs, and then back out at the last minute. They tell me they have financial problems, or life problems, or whatever they come up with. They can’t tell the truth and say:
“I’m scared Tony.”
A Man’s Word To Himself
If a student flakes on me, I won’t re-accept him as a student, not for any money.
I’m glad they flaked. They have no integrity. They’re not to be trusted. They are not a man of their word.
There’s nothing dishonourable about saying, “I’m afraid.” But giving your man’s word, and then breaking it because of fear…
He’s breaking his word to himself. That he would take part of his life that’s broken, and fix it.
When a man breaks his word, he destroys credibility, with himself, and with others
- Say you will do something, you do it
- Make a date or meeting, you arrive on time
- Give a promise, you keep it
- Start a project, you finish it
Men of their word are known to be trusted, superior, and reliable. A man who breaks his word is known to be weak, unreliable, and inferior.
If you do it, that’s how you’ll feel about yourself.
Your actions have consequences
My teen nephew loves his absentee Dad.
Every time they talk on social media, he promises to come visit. But he never does. It’s always some excuse, like work, or money. The truth is, he’s lazy, disorganized, and dysfunctional.
And every time he breaks his word, his son loses respect.
Respect is hard to gain, easy to lose
Boys make excuses, men take responsibility.
Being a man of your word will allow you to rise above your station, to achieve great power, and mastery over others and yourself.
It will grant you access to powerful people, and lift you to the realms of epic greatness.
Keeping Your Word is Easy
If you make a contract with yourself that you will approach women every day for thirty days, make more money, go to the gym five days a week, succeed at work, write a book, quit smoking, or finish a large project, and you honour your word—you will achieve power, influence and glory.
However, if you can’t keep your word even to yourself, why would anyone trust you?
A man without his word is destined for a life of menial labour, serving the needs of powerful men (and women).
You won’t attract great lovers, or create works of art that inspire. You’ll just be another guy, wandering through life, aimlessly.
He doesn’t exist, because he never commits.
Women and their word
You haven’t heard the saying, “A woman’s word,” because traditionally, women depended on men for their survival.
While men hunted, worked, and provided, women ran the household and raised kids. If a man didn’t keep his word, she’d be.. screwed. Probably by every lonely guy in town with a few coins.
A man’s word meant the difference between a good life, and bad one.
If your woman’s word is stronger than yours, then get ready to find a new girlfriend.
- Do what you say you will do
- Keep your promises
- Build relationships
- Create more than you consume
Always Whenever Possible, Keep Your Word
Then what’s the solution? It’s simple. Keep your word, or don’t give it.
You’ve been talking about writing that book… so write it!
You’re going to lose the gut… so do it!
You want to find a girlfriend… so go out at find her!
Do what you say you’re going to do
Should you break your word, then be accountable and correct the issue as best you can.
how often do you break your word? If it’s often, then I ask you…are you rich, do you have a great and happy girlfriend and are you surrounded by loyal friends that will grant you favors and help you on your path?
If not, it’s not too late to change this. Just start keeping your word, and make this your most valuable character trait.
Benefits of Keeping Your Word
- Stronger, more loyal relationships
- A sense of identity
- A richer family and social life
- Be more trusted in your social circles
- More social opportunity
There’s very little downside to keeping your word.
Maybe you’ll have to move a friend’s couch in the rain, or stay at work and cram in overtime. Perhaps you won’t get to finish that last level in your favorite video game. But the result of keeping your word is that you’ll have respect.
Keeping Your Word is Like Money in The Bank
Every time you keep your word, it’s like putting money into the bank. Your reputation is that you’re reliable, honest, and trustworthy. When you need a favor, people will be happy to help, because they understand your character and if they ask you for something, you’ll keep your promises.
You Can Always Say No
It’s better to say no, then to break your word. At least you’re honest.
I had a friend who recently asked me to watch his children while he went to a swinger party. I always hate saying no to friends, but I was working on a big project, and didn’t want to commit this time. So I said no.
He’s still my friend.
Saying no mean’s you won’t break your word.
A Man Who Keeps His Word Gains Respect
Respect is a powerful emotion. It mean’s people trust you. With trust, comes responsibility, sure. But a little responsibility can lead to amazing growth. There’s nothing wrong with it.
Have You Been Running From Responsibility?
Perhaps it’s time to evaluate your reputation. Are you know as the guy who isn’t dependable? Who breaks his word?
Would you rather be the go to guy for problem solving? The winner? The man of honor?
It’s up to you who you want to be.
Start by trying a little harder to keep your word.
“Women are not known to be creatures of their word. Many have no ambition towards honour or glory. This is because their prime motivation is survival and replication: They want a powerful man to give them strong, healthy babies, and provide a safe environment to raise them. Because they are physically weaker creatures who depend on men, they will lie, break their word, and talk behind others backs without much repercussion. They are not held as accountable to their word by society. Not like men are.”
This is extremely sexist. Many women are perfectly capable of a 100% loyal, monogamous relationship. There’s story of couples growing old together and having been married for many years. America is a partiarchal society (as with many other different areas run by humans), because partially of genetic make up. Men aren’t going to hate on other men because of the patriarchy. It’s why men are often praised when they have sex with 5+ women, but women are shamed when they have sex with 5+ men.
“I’m not saying women have no honour, or don’t keep their word, or rise above due to their ambition and dependability. Many do. They find great success in business and art, and create and maintain strong social bonds. I’m just saying society won’t oust them if they break their word, because honour isn’t a value they’re held accountable to like men are.
I have great respect for women that keep their word and value honour. I just wish there were more of them.”
If you’d read the article instead of having an emotional knee jerk, you’d see that I covered this.
Most women are not ashamed of having sex with 5+ men, they are ashamed if they get caught, usually by their female peers, and shamed for it.
I’m not talking about a woman being loyal in a monogamous relationship, I’m talking about people in general having a lack of character.
Pointing out some mythical relationship and harping about the patriarchy is no valid argument to my lesson.
Thanks for commenting.
Slut, whore, etc. Men love to say those things about women … I think you need to broaden your thinking about who shames whom when it comes to a women’s expressing and enjoying her sexuality. Rarely will a man choose a wife who has had multiple sex partners … this is a form of silent shaming (ie. you are not good enough for me kind of shaming men do).
I think you see this from only a male perspective and how you perceive women when they don’t keep their word.
From my female perspective … a liar is a liar, in other speak, a person who doesn’t keep their word. They are a liar/flake someone that you should never believe or engage in anything that is important to you (work, relationship, financial, partnership, etc.) . A liar/flake/someone who doesn’t keep their word is a mere child running after whatever takes their fancy in the “moment” … they do not have a big picture view of anyone other than themselves … as a second person to their party … you don’t count, they could careless how their actions create issues for you …. they are on their ME bus. This is gender neutral, despite what you want to believe.
As a female, my word and keeping and honoring it, is my most important integrity trait. My word is good enough, no lawyer or legal contract necessary.
While you as a male may give women a pass (engage with her) due to beauty you will never view her as a true prize … so have you truly giving her a pass? Honoring words is just as important for women to realize they must do because society isn’t giving them a pass either as you think they are … while you may enjoy toying with a beautiful woman liar … you won’t ever truly commit to a liar (as no one will).
Re: Kumo
Being a Feminist bitch boy, also known as a Mangina, won’t get you laid.
There is no Patriarchy, there never was one. It is just a lie, designed by Marxists, to fool women and weak minded men into destroying Western Civilization.
you, my friend, are also a douchebag.
Respect!
And Tony D just delivered the Saki Bomb Bitch Slap to Kumo.
“They are not held as accountable to their word by society. Not like men are.
I’m not saying women have no honour, or don’t keep their word, or rise above due to their ambition and dependability. Many do. They find great success in business and art, and create and maintain strong social bonds. I’m just saying society won’t oust them if they break their word, because honour isn’t a value they’re held accountable to like men are.
I have great respect for women that keep their word and value honour. I just wish there were more of them.”
thank you for writing this. it’s always refreshing to get a look at the bigger picture, society, beyond all this pickup stuff.
It’s easy for a beginner to get caught up entirely in pickup and forget about common sense. We have a better chance of FINDING honorable women who keep their word than reforming the ones who are full of shit
Like the author said don’t take it personal and what are you doing ..”taking it personal”…goes to show how right the author is about women
This is what we need – an insight to make evnryoee think
you, my friend, are a douchebag.
That’s not really breaking their word. Breaking their word would be telling you that they will pay for the bootcamps but then they don’t. Or give you counterfeit money.
If they say I can’t do it. Then they are keeping their word, they said they can’t and the aren’t following through.
Also women can be honorable. Your view that they are supposed to be capricious and cheat on you is probably because you look for these types of girls.
As a strong woman dating a man whom has lost respect in my eyes for not keeping his word, trying to appease me with allusions of grandeur, and lying to save face (so he can continue to get laid), I appreciate your candor.
That sucks. I think you mean he has delusions of Grandeur? Anyway, many men think that cockiness or arrogance is how you display leadership, pride and confidence. But they go too far. He’ll learn after he loses enough women in his life to cut it back. Hopefully. Just let him know you think he’s going to far with it.
Everything you said about men & women keeping their word ( or not ) , honour & respect , is true. No need apologize , Tony. No need back – track; explain what you didn’t say ( because you didn’t say it , we realize that ).
Just speak the truth ( your truth , from your heart ) is plenty good enough. Keep doing what you always do , Tony. If you are brave enough ( I think you are ) , to keep doing what you’re doing ( speak the truth ) , you are headed for the top. You Will Be interviewed in Rolling Stone. The masses ( me included ) , are tired of hearing horse – pucky from politicians , CEO’s , & the like ( people with big mouths ). We like you , Tony !!
Good read! Agree 100 percent
I have read some texts of dr. Pat Allen and John Gray.. I know some people don’t like what they say, but they both have given me much to think about. And I liked it.
When you say, men are held accountable for their word and actions, women for their emotions and beauty (lovability), it reminded me of the yin/ yang aspects both authors mentioned above use.
In a relationship, you can switch, but usually the other party also switches to keep the attraction dynamic going. If they don’t switch it attraction will fall away. So say if you are a man and you expect a woman to keep her word – as to say, make her word more important than her emotions, you ask her to act yang. She can do that. She does that when she is working at an office job. But she won’t like it. Same if a woman ask a man to act on his emotions instead of his word, she asks him to act yin. He can but probably it feels weird. Unless both are comfortable with BOTH sides and are capable to naturally switch sides if a situation asks for it and afterwards naturally switch back. It is difficult for people to switch back for some reason. Then the man remains a boy. The woman becomes a man and they don’t like themselves and each other anymore.
Tony, I can agree that the feminine is focussed on the “survival, comfort and reproduction”. I woulnd’t say women. Women are more feminine then man usually, so they probably are more focussed on those things. What would you say is the primal focus of men? Honour and glory.
Would you like to tell me your thoughts on the following? When I overhear people talking in a train or grocery store about dating, it’s usually the girls complaining that the guys don’t respond anymore. The guys I hear are usually just talking about the contact as if they used a towel.
So what’s up with that?
Hi Jules. The men that come to my blog are mostly concerned with “why wont she text me back?” type issues. I’m no doctor. I’m just a dude that helps men to approach women and get more dates. I’ve never heard women in a grocery store complaining about not being texted back by men, but I know that it happens.
The difference might be, the men are ignoring the girl “after” sex. Men are being ignored “before” sex. And this is their concern.
I honestly don’t think there is much we can do about this except acknowledge it happens.
The reasons men don’t reengage contact usually has to do with their level of attraction to the women. How useful is she to him, beyond a bang? This has to do with how many women are vying for him. If he has an abundance of dating choice, he will be less likely to see a girl as more than a short fling. If he has few options, he will be more likely to vy for a relationship.
There are things women can do do me more valuable to a man other than a bang. But that’s another story.
I have to say, i am a 23 year old young woman and this is by far THE greatest thing i have ever read. It’s raw, real and I respect it.
I’m a women of my word. I’m married and have a very masculine husband. I agree with both sides of the argument as I have run across all kinds of people in my line of work. One of my biggest pet peeves is a person who doesn’t keep their word. It tells me so much about that person as it is mentioned in this article. The old saying goes, treat others the way you want to be treated. If you say you are going to do something, do it. Don’t leave someone hanging. At least call them to let them know you can’t make it. I always try to put myself in the situation and ask myself, would I want this to happen to me. That person might get upset with you, but they will respect you for being honest.
If I were a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, now I’d say “Kgaobunwa, dude!”
Bad post all around, Tony. Are you a young’un?
No one is perfect. If you can’t live up to your promise own up to it and make amends and correct the behavior going forward. It happens to us all because life happens sometimes. Bulk up and move on.
Also, women seek glory and honor just like men. Or, rather, they strive to be just as successful. People, regardless of gender, should be held to the same level of integrity. Period. And they usually are.
Men are judged on promises and their word.
Now a days, women are and should be held to the same standards.
A very wise friend said to me one time, in a very calm, meaningful tone “Mary… Just do, (pause) what you say your going to do.” Meaning, he knew I had a tendency to always be that “friend to the rescue” with all good intentions of following thru. Yet as blessed as I am with many friends and a large family to boot, sometimes I would end up spreading myself too thin, therefore I was unable to make good on some of commitments for which I had willfully volunteered. Even though my heart was “all in.” I have lived by that motto since then. Male or female, integrity and honor know no gender.
I believe in honor a being someone who has his word trust. I n regard to so much more I totally disagree. Most men of honor are treated by those in power and others who pull string like s— and threats. mostly honorable men will remain poor and powerless their whole lives. It is mostly the scum, the liars and the cheats who prosper. Also, a s— will be the one who gets the women and so on. In this life true men of honor are not honored themselves. They face only disrespect by the powers that be. The reward is personal. Knowing you were a good man.
They say there is no honour among thieves. But I believe in reciprocity. If someone messes with me, I will crush them. I just won’t throw the first stone. Once they do, then the rules of war apply.
Chauvinistic tripe, it all sounds to me. I see men breaking their word all around me all the time. Nobody is holding them accountable. They show up late or don’t show up, they don’t keep their promises, cheat on their wives, don’t deliver what they promised, they don’t own up to their mistakes, they cower and try to cover them up. Nobody is batting an eyelid. What kind of ‘society expects honour from men’ are you talking about?! Today’s society expects honourable behaviour from no one. Man, woman, animal, child. No one. And from my own experience, i can tell you that women are better at many of the things you have listed, whether society expects it of them or not. They don’t give a damn about your vainglorious ideas about the non-existent honour of the non-existent manhood in the world in general today. Majority of women i know and have met keep their word, come to appointments of time, let you know well in advance if they are backing off, don’t cancel at the last minute, follow up on whatever they say they will do, deliver as they promise or don’t promise, or deliver more and are willing to stick it through thick and thin with the man they love, in spite of his failings, and for the sake of their children. All this, and simply for their own honour. Please open your eyes and look around you. Stop counting 16-22 year old boys and girls as men and women. They are still in post-modern adolescence which extends into the 30s for most people these days. Real women have more honour than many men will ever have, and they don’t need any acknowledgement from you for it.