An Interview with Mark Manson

A few years ago I stumbled across a blog called Practicalpickup.com. The advice on that site echoed many of my own sentiments: pua information was too convoluted, and often – misogynistic.

The author, Mark Manson, now of MarkManson.net, has since left the pua blogging scene, but his book, “Models – Attract Women Through Honesty,” caused an impressive splash and he remains a nascent author within that subculture. His name is now his brand and MarkManson.net is a growing manifesto of a young guy who has traveled the world as a coach, writer, explorer, and exceptionally focused entrepreneur.

Tony: You used to be involved in the pickup artist community, teaching bootcamps and such, before quitting that trade and becoming an internationally known author and blogger. At what point did you decide to move from dating coach to full time blogger?

Mark: It wasn’t one specific moment, but rather a slow evolution that happened over a couple years and occurred on a few different levels.

On a professional level, after a few years of coaching it became clear to me that a lot of the issues men were dealing with weren’t limited to dating and women. A lack of self-worth, for example, rears its head in many places across a man’s life and often it’s impossible to deal with one without dealing with the others. So in the interest of some of my clients it began to feel a bit shallow to just talk about pussy all the time, there were much more significant things going on in their lives.

At the same time, from a business point of view, it became clear that it’s really hard to scale coaching and that I had to find different ways to reach people and make money. I can only take so many guys out for a weekend before losing my sanity, and going out and hiring a team of coaches to work under me wasn’t really something I was interested in. Writing has always worked well for me, so I decided to instead focus on expanding my writing to a broader audience, and that meant focusing less on sex and women and more on some of those deeper topics I mentioned above.

And finally, on a personal level, it got old. I think I was good coach, but I don’t think I was ever passionate about it. When I was 24-years-old, it was something I really enjoyed and it fit the lifestyle I wanted at that time. But as I got older, it became less exciting and interesting to me. They say that you can judge a self help movement by how many people leave it. I think pick up, in general, is something that is designed to be left behind at some point. If you’re sticking around in it for a really long time, that means something’s gone wrong. Just my opinion.

Tony: You’ve been all over the world. How many countries have you visited and which countries would you say are best for single men who want to meet women?

Mark: I’ve been to 52 countries and will be visiting two more in the next few months (I’m living in Vietnam at the moment).

Before I answer this, I’d like to emphasize that you can (and should) find amazing women everywhere. A lot of guys get hung up on the idea that some magical city or country will solve their women problems for them, when that’s not true. There are amazing women everywhere, including your hometown, it’s just harder to find them in some places than others. The benefit you get from traveling to meet women is that it’s really just a matter of which cultures align more with your values and physical preferences and where certain factors such as race and wealth play a larger advantage than back home.

So it really depends on what you want. If your qualification is “easy,” then most anywhere in the third world is going to be pretty easy and straightforward for a white guy (once you sift through the prostitutes), particularly in Asia and Central America.

If you want educated women who are also feminine, sensual and interesting, then I’d say parts of South America and Eastern Europe are your best bet. If you like submissive and traditional, then eastern Asia like Korea or Japan will be better. But like I said, it really depends what you want.

My favorites, in no specific order: Brazil, Colombia, Russia, Hungary, Singapore

Tony: You’re a great writer. What would you suggest to a young guy who wants to succeed in educating himself?

Mark: Write a lot. Start a blog… like right now. Don’t even finish reading this. Sign up for WordPress and start writing regularly.

There’s really no secret to it: read a lot (of good stuff) and then write a lot and genuinely care about what you’re writing. That last clause is the key: give a shit. When you give a shit, you’ll edit and edit and edit until you have a stroke. That’s where good writing comes from: editing.

Rinse and repeat for a few years and you’ll be on your way. There are some books out there that will help you along, but nothing can replace sitting down and sweating over a paragraph for an hour or two.

Tony: What sort of work hours do you keep? How can a self-employed man remain prolific?

Mark: I’m a night guy. So I usually don’t wake up until 10 or 11 in the morning. Gym, shower, lunch, and I sit down to get started by one or two in the afternoon. I’ll usually work all afternoon no matter what, and then at night I’ll either go out and be social or I’ll work until I’m too tired to continue. Sometimes that’s 2AM. Other times it’s 6AM. Depends what I’m working on and how urgent it is.

I take days off when I feel I need to, not because it’s Friday or Sunday or whatever. It usually comes out to one day off each week. And then once or twice a year, I just disconnect entirely for a couple weeks.

That system works for me. I think what’s most important is that everyone experiments and finds what works well for them. I give the whole “early morning, schedule work time” thing about once a year or so. It feels great for like three days and then I end up hating my life, so I don’t stick with it.

Tony: Which of your products would you recommend most to a guy who wants to learn success with women?

Mark: “Models: Attract Women with Honesty.” Ideally, that will be the only book you’ll ever need to read on the subject (a number of guys have said as much.) But if you need more, or you need an extra push to get going, then I have a Fearless Dating Course online to help men get their heads on straight and meeting women fairly quickly.

You can follow Mark on Twitter @ twitter.com/IAmMarkManson