What I learned From The Man With No Face

I was walking around my neighbourhood yesterday, feeling somewhat dumpy.

I hadn’t had my $3 Americano, hadn’t been to the gym, hadn’t written my 2k words for my blog or novel, hadn’t meditated, and my mind kept focusing itself on the chatter; about bills, friends, women, worries.

And then I saw him…

The man with no face.

Terrible burn scars had turned his face into a mask. My initial internal dialogue was “Don’t stare,” but I couldn’t help but make eye contact. He smiled and nodded at me, and we both went on our way.

And then I reflected on my petty worries. And they were insignificant–a total waste of mental energy. My life is awesome!

So why do our thoughts tend to gravitate towards despair? I find the energy of optimism as something “rising” and negativity as “falling.”

It’s harder to climb up, than to slide down. And letting your thoughts slide into the negative is just mental laziness

This month I’ve made a set of rules for myself:

1. No Complaining or Whining
2. No Holding Onto Negative Thought Loops

There’s an old self-help concept: The Thirty Day Positivity Challenge. Thirty days seems to be a accepted time frame for developing a habit. There are many opinions on the time frame, and it really doesn’t matter. What matters is this:

If you want to change something about yourself, you have to consciously choose to do so. If focusing on building a habit over thirty days works for you, then try it. As long as you bring awareness to the possibility of change. 

Climbing up that slope towards your ideal self, you are bound to fall. But the brilliance of the human condition is that you ultimately have the ability to choose how you feel.

In the famous book “Man’s Search For Meaning” by Viktor Frankl chronicles the hardships he and other prisoners faced inside Nazi concentration camps. Faced with daily injustice and humiliation, Frankl found strength within himself by choosing how to think:

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

Seeing that smiling man with no face, I remembered that I have a choice: to spend my day stressing and sliding into depression, or climbing optimistically towards joy and success.

You may not always have control over your circumstance, but you always have a choice about what, and how to think. 

***I’m planning a trip to Montreal, Toronto, and New York in April. Contact me for coaching options.***