The Goldilocks Zone

The Goldilocks Zone is the relatively narrow range of distance from a star within which an orbiting planet can maintain life. In the vastness of space, there isn’t much room for error. Leave The Goldilocks zone and one brings the apocalypse with them, unless that is, the change is so subtle that the resulting climate alteration might cause a planetary shift in evolution.

Isn’t it true that most of us spend the majority of our time in our own Goldilocks Zone? Where everything is safe, familiar, and predictable? And when any shift occurs we feel as if it’s an apocalyptic event?

I had a student the other day who was very stifled. His mission was simple: Give a girl a compliment, stay in the interaction for two minutes, and talk to her. I started the timer and watched as he darted back and forth past a busy intersection, where hundreds of people moved on their way to work, the gym, to meet friends or go shopping. My student failed the exercise. When I asked him what was happening in his head, he said, “There are so many people. I don’t want anyone to hear me.”

I asked the student to follow me to a tree, which I climbed. I beckoned the student to follow me up the tree, which he reluctantly did. I then instructed him to do as I did, and proceeded to hoot, howl, and scream like a monkey. I hopped around and swung from the branches. I pretended to throw my poop and pick the mites from the students hair.

“Your turn. Do it!” I commanded him. “Do it or take your money and go home.”

The student let out a small hoot. He was obviously embarassed. He was in his Goldilocks Zone

“Like this! Be loud! Be an apelord!” I ordered.

And with a bit of coaxing the student transformed into a monkey. A few people stopped to take pictures and laugh with us. A few other passerby pretended to be monkeys themselves. But most didn’t care, and went on with their day, barely registering the strange men in the tree. 

I always say that learning pickup is more of a rehabilitiation than a magical skill. If you spend all of your time in your Goldilocks Zone, you will never change. You need to push yourself to experience new things, to meet new people, to attempt activities that help you grow.

Embarrass yourself on purpose just to learn that nothing bad will happen

 What beautiful woman wants a man who is too afraid to give her a compliment? What woman wants a man who is too “cool” to climb a tree and make monkey noises? None.

Get out of your Goldilocks Zone and become the man that attractive women want.

***Email me for a free coaching consultation. I’m in Vancouver but I will travel to your city. My month long mentorship is my most successful and popular program.***