The Best Dating Advice I Ever Recieved

One of my good friend, an artist, and a man who has slept with over 100 beautiful women (and had a few dozen long term girlfriends,) told me, “Tony, you have to be positive. Always positive.”

That was his dating advice to me:

Be Positive

I am guilty of falling into despair from time to time. It happens. I’m the type of guy who is rarely satisfied in his dating life unless I’m with a Unicorn. She has to be beautiful, well adjusted, intelligent and keen. So I’m willing to approach thousands of women to find this one, magical creature. It means I’m usually single, and always seeking. I date many women, and sleep with very few. I’m not interested in banging girls and never calling them back. I’m always looking for women who are out of my league.

Sometimes it really sucks to approach thousands of women, and not find the one you want.

Just Be Positive

I was out the other day with a girl I liked a lot. I met her at a cafe here on vacation in Northern Thailand. She laughed at my dumb jokes, we cuddled at a waterfall, we had dinner over candle light. It was very romantic.

That night she didn’t return my messages, so I went out to the bar, and found her making out with a large, muscly young man who she said she met on a trek. Why did she prefer him over me? Maybe she didn’t. Maybe it was his fantasticly toned body. Maybe he was funnier, or smarter. Maybe she just liked him better. I’ll never know.

Always Be Positive

I was teaching a bootcamp at a bar in Vancouver. I had my student approach a group of girls and he was doing well. A tall, drunk kid walked up to me and stared down into my eyes. He was very aggressive. Something about his vibe was off. I had to pull my student out of the group because I sensed looming violence.

Positivity

Another student saw a girl at the mall and said, “I like your earrings they’re badass.”

“Thanks!” She replied.

As they were chatting, a short haired lady approached him from behind, grabbed his shirt, pulled him backwards and said, “He’s a pickup artist! He’s just trying to manipulate you!”

A crowd formed and my student fled, embarrassed by the public shaming.

Think Positive!

In order to meet our Unicorns, these are the things we must endure,. You will embarrass yourself, you will be shamed, some will say you’re a creepy rapist, some will want to punch you, most will flake and reject you. But in the end…

It’s worth it

People in my social life have no idea how difficult it is for the average man to attract women . You’re not rich, you’re not incredibly tall or handsome, you’re not famous or powerful or even known. But you have something special that other men don’t.

You have charm.

You have confidence.

You have a certain way of walking and talking that sets you apart.

When you look into her eyes, you do not waver.

When she gives you attitude, to see how you will react, you are like a rock in the river, unmoving, solid, pleasant.

You know how to talk to women. You make them laugh. And when it’s time to listen, you listen.

You know how to touch them in a totally consensual way, even though they never said, “You can touch me now.” It’s unspoken.

You’ve been through every negative dating experience there is. And now you are an amazing lover, and command a powerful, charming presence.

And you’re always, always, positive. There is no other way. This is the only way. This is what works.