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How to be a More Positive Person

gothIf you eat the same food over and over, your body will come to expect that food, and you will crave it.

If you put enough of a drug into your body, over time, your body will become addicted to that drug.

And if you feel sorry for yourself enough, your neural pathways will re-align themselves to reward your self-pity and you will become addicted to your own negativity.

Once you’ve placed yourself into a negative thought loop, it’s very, very difficult to break out of it. Your brain becomes like a hamster in a ball, with no escape hatch. The more you spin the wheel, the faster it goes; like a perpetual self-pity machine. Your negative experiences fuel your negative experiences, creating and bringing awareness to new negative experiences.

So negativity becomes your identity.

The first step to escaping a negative thought loop is to bring awareness to your addiction. The second is to accept full responsibility.

  1. Bring awareness
  2. Accept responsibility

When I was just started to learn pickup, instead of focusing on what I should be doing right, I would bring awareness to what I was doing wrong. Bringing awareness was good, but the negative action of beating my self up, and dwelling on my mistakes was detrimental to developing inner game. So I changed my process.

Instead of beating my self up, I would simply accept that I was feeling upset with myself, and let it go.

Let It Go

Negative feelings are just that…negative feelings. It’s when you laser in on these emotions that they grow, and consume. When you feel the negativity brewing and building, just say, “Ah, there you are.” Don’t feed the troll.

Negativity can manifest from unresolved past trauma, or regret, or guilt, or fear. When I say accept responsibility, I don’t mean accept that someone hit your dog with their truck, like it was your fault—I mean accept that you feel something, and that it’s ok. It’s in your power to accept your emotions and get back on your path.

When you take full responsibility for your life, and realize nobody is going to fix it for you, and that you have only yourself, you will feel the weight lift. Don’t blame your city, your mother, the women, your boss, your lack of education, the system. Blame yourself, and then take action towards a goal, any goal. And choose to be happy.

You must make a conscious choice to ignore the negative emotions, and enjoy the positive. And by working towards a worthy goal, you will realign your neurons in a way that provides an addiction to positivity.

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