Why Women Don’t Care About Your Anxiety: Understanding Cold Approach
The vast majority of guys who get into cold approach, whether that’s meeting girls in bars, or through daygame, get frustrated and quit before landing their first girl.
And it makes sense, because cold approach is really, really hard.
It’s not physically difficult, but emotionally challenging. It’s a wild rollercoaster of emotions and women have no idea how stressful it is for us.
About What Women Think of Us
So what do women think about when we approach them?
Women don’t care what we’re going through.
All she sees is either a guy approaches her, or he doesn’t. She doesn’t know or care about your approach anxiety. She doesn’t know that he doesn’t know what to say, or worries that she, or other people will think he’s weird, or creepy.
I have to reiterate, “SHE DOESN’T CARE,” about a man’s thoughts and feelings. It’s not that she lacks empathy, it’s just that women are empathetic… not psychic.
The Role of Mirror Neurons
The human brain is wired the same for both psychopaths, and altruists. So the good feelings (dopamine) a monk receives for blessing the needy, is the same as a psychopath may get for lying about his achievements in order to receive praise.
Humans are primarily self-centered1, and think mostly on their own needs; even if those are altruistic, they are still selfish thoughts and feelings.
She Feels What You Feel
That said, women generally display higher empathy, due partially to stronger mirror neuron activity. 2
Mirror neurons are special cells in your brain that help you understand what other people are feeling or doing by mimicking their actions in your own brain. For example: somebody yawns, and then you yawn. Or somebody laughs, and everyone laughs.
So in that effect, if a man approaches a woman, and he feels happy, confident, present, and calm, her mirror neurons will reflect the same feelings. If he’s making conscious decisions, and moving towards his masculine purpose… how could anyone view this negatively?
On the contrary, if the man feels self-conscious, nervous, and anxious, so will she.
Essentially, if you feel what you’re doing is creepy and weird, so will she, and anyone else listening in. If you feel happy and calm, so will she. This inner feeling of positivity, or negativity, will manifest in your vocal tonality, and body language.
The Path to Confidence
Unfortunately the path to confidence goes straight through the forest of anxiety. There’s no bypassing it. To become calm, centered, and confident, a man must face the situations that frighten him most.
Essentially, we all want to receive good emotions, rather than bad.
That’s why many will be receptive to a man’s approach, even if they’re not initially attracted to them. They may appear uncomfortable at times, but that does not mean they don’t enjoy the interaction, considering it’s providing “good” emotions.
Conclusion
Sometimes you just have to risk being creepy with girls. There’s no shortcut to confidence. You gain it by challenging yourself, and few social activities are as challenging as cold approaching beautiful women.
But if you do master the approach, a whole new world of opportunity blossoms before you.
It’s worth it. I can tell you this from experience.
Good luck.
Tony Depp.
