I Tried Talking To A Girl–And Had A Panic Attack

Because it used to happen to me, I have a soft spot for men who experience full blown, heart pounding panic attacks while talking to attractive women.

This is essentially what I do for a living. While my haters think I’m creating an army of players, the vast majority of my clients are just normal, nice guys who are scared shitless of talking to women. It’s ridiculous, and they know it.

I worked my ass off to rid myself of that burden. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It changed my life. It saved my life.

Browsing reddit came across this tale of horror and woe. Check out his story.

22 year old junior in college here, kissless virgin, severe social anxiety, you get the idea.

I posted a thread here a few months back recounting an experience I had trying to just say “hello” to a girl I’d seen around class a couple times. Ended in a full-blown panic attack.

At the time I was still going to counselling sessions to deal with my social anxiety. Back then it all sounded like good, if slightly generic advice. “Fake it till you make it,” “don’t over-think things,” “Just keep trying”. So I did all that, or at least tried to. But in the six months of counselling I didn’t really see much change.

Fast forward to yesterday. Class just started this week so I figured it was a good chance for a fresh start. Saw my opportunity when I was in the bookstore. Really cute girl was looking at some fountain pens. I’m a huuuuge FP dork. I love the damn things. This was my chance! Perfect indirect opener, right?

Unbeknownst to me at the time, another panic attack was already starting to set in. Rapid heart rate, tunnel vision, ringing in my ears, all the symptoms I’d learned to recognize but tried to ignore just this once. So I walked up and cleared my throat, ready to point out a cool new Pilot that the store started carrying. Instead, all that came out was a croaked “Hi there.”

She looked over at me with that confused, slightly repulsed expression I’d seen before (hooray for being unattractive). “Uhhh…can I help you?”

I tried following up. God I fucking tried. But that’s when the panic attack hit me full-on. My whole chest tightened up, I couldn’t breathe, pouring sweat, the whole nine yards. I booked it out of there and into the nearest bathroom in case I threw up. Thankfully I didn’t, but it was a solid ten minutes before I could even step outside.

And this has happened more than these two times. At this point it’s probably been eight or nine occurrences. Every single time I’ve tried talking to someone I found attractive, no matter the context, I lose my mind. Panic attacks, anxiety, replaying things over and over in my head for the next two weeks. I can’t fucking stop it and it’s killing me. What’s odd is that I can get through most “normal” social encounters just fine. Grocery shopping, talking to cashiers, making phone calls, etc etc, I can fumble my way through with minimal embarrassment. But when I try to do this sort of stuff voluntarily (IE, put myself in these situations on purpose) everything falls apart.

I guess what I’m asking here is: Are there some people out there who just aren’t cut out for this sort of thing? Like, we’re missing that part of our brain that’s supposed to make these things work? Because it definitely feels like it. I’ve read the sidebar over and over. Same with Models, the Game, No More Mister Nice Guy, watched hundreds of videos, it just doesn’t seem like anything…clicks, y’know?

Sorry for the wall of text. Guess I needed to vent along with looking for advice. SeaTown93

The problem most of these guys have, is they think they are different and special.

They think there is something wrong with their brains that does not afflict every other human on the planet.

Our brains are specifically designed to be afraid of approaching strangers. It’s hindbrain stuff.

In the animal kingdom (yes, we are animals) if you want access to females, you will likely have to fight another male for that right. Possibly to the death.

Our lizard brains are still wired for the fight or flight reaction that manifests as a panic attack.

The fear is natural, but unnecessary. The key as always, is to practice, practice, practice until the action that triggers dopamine, instead of adrenaline.

When enough women react pleasantly to your approach, and you start dating those women, your brain will go “Oh, your head wasn’t smashed by a rock? You weren’t driven from your society in shame? You’re getting laid now? You’re in love now? Awesome! Do that more.”

Social anxiety and panic attacks are as much our society’s fault, as your genetics. We live in an age that shames and scolds men for our basic social and sexual desires. We are constantly bombarded by propaganda from a feminized media that wants men to behave more like women.

It is up to you to undo the brainwashing and change your life. Nobody can do this for you. 

I did it. Many of my friends did it, or are in the process. You are not alone. You are not different or special.

Work harder.

If you need artistic inspiration, read my novel or watch The Edge of Tomorrow. 

I approached thousands of women over a four year period in order to overcome my crippling social anxiety. And as a reward, I’ve made sweet love to dozens and dozens of beautiful women from all over the wonderful world. I also fell in love, started a business, wrote a two very popular books, and gained enough life experience to write three more. 

You might not be the best looking guy, but you can still develop your confidence and charm. You can still improve yourself. 

Women aren’t as attracted to looks the way men are. They are attracted to confidence, status, talent, and humor as well.

There are many paths to the top of the mountain. But don’t just climb for a day, look up and say “It’s just too far.”

With that attitude, you don’t deserve success. 

Work harder.

Work harder.

Work harder.