Shut Up And Touch Her

I stood quietly a few feet away as I watched my client talk to a girl at the bar. He’d been chatting her up for a few minutes now, and I was growing agitated. His problem was that he could open and talk to her, but he always fell straight into comfort, and either skipped or intentionally avoided the attraction phase. He was all “Blah, blah, blah,” and missing the most important part: Seduction.

I told him earlier that if I ever kicked his foot, or poked his ribs, that he must hold out his hands palms up as a gesture for her to hold them. So I walked over and kicked him in the foot. As I hoped, he put his hands up, and she put hers there. Finally, progress.

Most new guys have some deep rooted fear of becoming physical with women. If you went out with me you’d see a guy who high fives, spins, lifts, hugs, and kisses women all night long. Physical game is the easiest, most effective way to create attraction, arousal, and communicate intent; without having to say anything. Yet, why are men so afraid of touching a girl? Is it because they fear coming off as creepy?

If you want to get good at game, realize people are going to think you’re creepy, you’re a douche, you’re a womanizer. LET THEM THINK WHATEVER THEY WANT. IT DOESN’T MATTER. All that matters is what you do to improve your game. If that means being rejected, embarrassed and humiliated some times, so be it. All these experiences will do is make you stronger. Like a soldier who has been to war, the negatives make you a stronger man, with more reference experiences, and a deeper understanding of human psychology—your own and others.

Have you ever watched two pretty girls when they first meet? Often they will start chatting, and upon finding some common interest, will hold each other’s hands. Sometimes they even jump up and down and giggle. Minus the giggling, any man can evoke the same comfort that leads to physicality. Everybody (unless they’re psychologically damaged) enjoys physical contact.

Remember this rule: “Whatever you feel, she feels.” So if at the moment you go for a hug, a spin, a shoulder rub, if you feel uncomfortable, worried, stressed, or doubtful, you will transmit these feelings straight through you to her. The key to all success with pickup is to have a clear mind—no thought. Just action and positive emotions.

The next time you go out, try to do something overtly physical with every interaction. Whether it’s a high five, handholding, kissing, hugging, spinning, or any variation. Make that your mission and just see what you learn. These techniques will get you a lot further down your path than just going “Blah, blah, blah,” all night long.