Night Game for Bars and Clubs

I haven’t written on night game in a while, so I thought I’d give some basic pointers for you nascent playboys.

First, you need to look cool. Not good looking…cool. Far too many of you fail to take action here.

You read, you agree, and slip on your ugly ass shoes, old black t-shirt and mosy out to the pasture. Cut your gross, long fingernails, trim the nose hair, lose the neck beard, pay for a cool haircut, and wax the back hair.

Go shopping!  But do not rely on your own judgement. Find a hip establishment, approach a salesman and say, “I’m going to a club tonight. Make me look cool.” Be willing to spend at least $300. Then explore the venue and ask beautiful women for opinions.

(Note. You don’t need cool clothes, but you will have a better chance if you look good.)

Pick your hunting ground. I prefer large, dance floor accomodating bars with multiple rooms for exploration and isolation—away from predators. Women are being watched and judged always, so moving her around a corner, away from jealous eyes, will ease her anxieties. Scout your venue.

Arrive whenever, but warm up. In transit, talk to people—all people. This will install a chatty vibe and negate your Call of Duty nerd stupor, releasing dormant social skills.

Once inside don’t waste time. Walk around the club and introduce yourself. The best chat up line for a newbie is, “Hi, I’m Billy, how are you?” Just screen for friendly women. Some girls will ignore you, and some will chat. It’s not up to you. As you socialize you’ll loosen up become wittier, funnier, and increasingly confident. You will come up with better openers with practice.

I never buy girls drinks unless they leave the bar with me.

All game is confidence. Confidence comes from positive experience—so make fun a priority.

All interactions are experience, even the negative ones. Therefore all interactions are fun.

Verbal game takes years to develop. So focus on remaining inside the interaction for at least two minutes. Take a leadership position, manning up and driving the verbal and physical escalation. Don’t worry about what to say, just make your interaction last as long as possible.

Instead of asking what to do next, show or tell her what to do. If she likes you, she will follow your lead. If she doesn’t like you, she will once you start telling her what to do. “Come here, sit down, speak louder, hug me, touch my kitten.” This is game at its easiest. Just tell them what you want.

Be loud! The louder the better.

Be physical. Just talking to them won’t cut it. I’m serious; most guys are huge pussies here. Put your arms around their shoulders, spin them, hold their hands, high five, hug, and ultimately…try to kiss every girl that’s nice to you. Most girls will laugh, or turn their cheek. That’s fine! Expect that most girls won’t kiss you, but escalation turns girls on. Most guys are too scared to approach, never mind go for a makeout. Be the exception. How do you get a girl to kiss you? You try. It’s simple. When you’re talking to her, put your arms around her and pull her head gently towards yours. Lean in slightly and go for it, without fear of consequence, doubt or shame. If she doesn’t turn and run, try again in a few minutes. You’ll get it.

Phone numbers are fine—collect them early and text them your name immediately. Then you can use the number to meet for after hours, or the following days.

You need big balls—not wet little onion sacks. So approach, approach, approach and escalate.

If you hook a girl do not stand in one place and blah, blah, blah all night. Move her around the bar from the table to the couch, from the couch to the dancefloor. This will build rapport and trust. The more experiences you share, the better.

Look for girls that have isolated themselves from their friends, girls that are smiling and scanning the room. These are the best options, but you can also approach groups.

If she has friends, insist you meet them, lest they cockblock you. Win them over. Compliment them, make jokes, relate with them. If you make friends with her peer group they will be more inclined to allow their friend to leave with you.

Pull her. Get her out of the bar. Say, “Hey, I know this great pub across the street. Let’s go there for a drink.” If she’s willing to leave with you, then say, “Hey, I have wine at my place. Let’s just go there.” She’s either going to say, “Ok!” or she’s going to object. It’s your job to overcome these objections about her friends, working early, etc. Say, “Don’t worry, you can text your friends later,” as you guide her into a taxi. Get her to the point of no-return. If she won’t go to your place, maybe she will go to hers. Ask her if she has any cool stuff at her place, any booze or interesting movies. The good part about her place is you can leave whenever you want.

In the bar, the numbers game rules, so roll the dice often. And it isn’t supposed to be this terrifying and traumatizing experience. Pickup is fun. Girls! Flirting!

If you can dance, the dancfloor is your best friend.

People are at a bar for a good time, don’t be so serious. The sillier, the better. Let your energy level be slightly higher than the girls. Never lower, and not too high.

If you’ve never tried night game, you need to get out there and practice, practice, practice. When I started, it took me three months to get laid. Any guy of average looks and intelligence can learn night game. But if you’re nervous, insecure and in your head you won’t find much luck, so you’ll need to desensitize yourself.

You will learn more by approaching five girls than reading five Ebooks.

The bright side of the newbie paradox is that initially your learning ramp will be steep. You will learn a lot your first times out, and quickly. So enjoy it. After awhile your progress will plateau. That’s a good time to hire a coach, or push your comfort zone further with advanced game techniques.

Before you know it you’ll be bringing hotties home from the bar. Wear a condom.

And if you still hate nightgame, you can always try daygame. I wrote a book about it. 

***I’m accepting students in Vancouver, and the rest of the world. Contact me for coaching options.***

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