How Do I Approach A Girl With Headphones In?
I’m often asked how to approach women who are either wearing headphones, on the phone, or staring into one.
I feel like guys who ask this aren’t necessarily looking for technique, but rather permission.
Guys—You have my permission. Go talk to the girl with headphones.
This dude on Reddit asked what a good approach was for this situation, and then received lots of terrible advice:
I would recommend not doing that, even though I guess some might. Most of my friends who are girls would find that extremely invasive and off putting when they just may be wanting to tune out the world.
Or she’s listening to an album she’s heard 97 times.
And typical bad advice from a girl…
I’ll probably get alot of hate from this but, you don’t. I can’t tell you how many female friends of mine think it’s ridiculously creepy and invasive.
“Invasive.” “Creepy.” The words they use. Words, words, words.
We live in a “plugged in” society. I would say that 85.2% of modern women have a smart phone. Stand on any street corner in any modern city and count the percentage of young ladies who either have their headphones in, are talking to on, or gazing into their their pocket computer. You want to learn to be good with girls, and not approach women who are on the phone? Good luck with that.
The big question you all want to know is: “Is it ok to approach girls who are occupied with their phone?”
If you don’t want to be forever alone, you will have to risk being “Creepy” and “Invasive.”
Ever heard the old phrase “Nice guys finish last?” Well, it is very, very true. Though it should be rephrased as “Weak, self-conscious, insecure and overly polite guys finish last.”
The whole deal is black and white. Ones and zeros. You either approach the girl, or you don’t. You meet her, or she goes off down her “plugged in” road of life.
So, for the girls with their headphones in, here is the magical tactic to grab their attention:
Approach them anyway.
When they see you waving, talking and motioning at them, they will take their headphones out and talk to you.
Or they won’t.
When you get her attention, you ask your question, give your compliment, tell your joke. You attempt to charm, seduce, and pick that babe up. Ask her for her number, tell her she’s hot, tease her, talk about the weather if you must.
Just get the job done. Don’t let a little pocket computer keep you from your future wife.
Guys—it’s only going to get worse. Our women are being seduced away from real human interaction into a virtual world of instant validation, communication, and entertainment. It’s up to you to snap these pretty zombies out of their stupor and back into the real world, where they have to use social skills, and deal with living, breathing humans.
Even if it’s a guy who finds them attractive.
Even if it’s a little “creepy” and “invasive.”
It’s so funny how they put up barricades (conciously or not) such as headphones,negative body language and then whine that guys “never approach”
Boys that claim girls whine, “guys never approach” are always men terrified to approach. Women wear headphones for the same reason as men: They’re listening to music. Women don’t have to “deal” with living, breathing human beings even if they’re being “invasive or creepy”. That’s why so many women reject you. Because you’re being invasive and creepy and we don’t have to talk to you. That’s not going to change no matter how many blogs you write about lonely men.
I got approached by a sleazy pick up guy at 10 am outside of my work while I was talking on my phone to a client and after saying, “I’m on a work call.” he rudely persisted I had to tell him to fuck off. I know you guys may not have day jobs but it’s ridiculous to assume every woman you feel like fucking in the middle of the day is disappearing down her “plugged in life” because she doesn’t want to fuck you then and there.. Real adults work. Men AND women. I know. Something you’re not accustomed to.
As well, the option is not you approaching or she disappears down some cyber telephone internet world. The option is you approach her and if you can hold a decent conversation and she’s interested in continuing that at another point she’ll give you her number or she’ll go back to her family, friends, career and future. Women do not disappear into a flurry of binary code just because they don’t like you. And when a man comes running up waving their arms frantically then says some stupid question or tells me I’m pretty I put my headphones back in and ignore the fuck out of them because that approach is absolutely fucking weird and creepy.
I talk to men all day long. But the ones I do chose to speak to (Because, no matter what self-help bullshit you tell yourself, I chose to speak to them, not the other way around… but I’m sure deep down you know that) they don’t approach me flailing limbs, ask awkward questions and “tease” (which has, for the record, never been described by the author) me in the middle of the day like a mentally unstable person.
I get that this is a scam. You’re probably some pot bellied ageing 30 year old with an unpaid student loan, four room mates and no prospect for a future. But if you blog then you should be open to the repercussions of negative feedback. I also understand you are most likely too cowardly to post this entire message, or at all, as you obviously review all comments. But I know you’re so self conscious you’ve read the entire thing in a disgusted rage. Because I know that is how you operate I’ve posted this comment with screen captures to a few web sites. So it will be interesting, for once, to see your response, and that of the general public.
Maybe you should put your headphones in. I get the feeling you may want to ignore a lot of future comments towards you.
I’m sorry you had to talk to a weird guy on the street. Time to be a strong, independent woman and learn to deal with the hardship of being approached by a man from time to time. Thanks for commenting.
I think what shes sayin is theres a difference between talkin 2 a girl and aggressively pickin her up.This was a guy she told to leave her alone cause she was workin and he still went after her.I wanna hear u think on that approach cause I dont think PU should put someones job at risk and I dont think shes wrong to be pissed about that.what u think about pickin up girls when theyre at work cause I wouldnt step foot in skyscraperville for a date from 9 to 5.u had any luck in that terf?
I’m sure if this fuse had pulled up in a fancy car or had swanky clothing, etc. Her panties would’ve dropped and legs spread. I herev Hesse tags all the time, “…but then he said he was a Dr and lived in this “insert Bougie” condo building so I fucked him good there…..