Mistakes, Epiphanies

So after all these years oh helping men, I’ve seen patterns in my clients.

The same mistakes and epiphanies over and over. Here are the ten common issues and truths that will help you guys find success in your journey to success with women.

1. Looks don’t matter. Of course, being tall and handsome is a massive advantage, but what doesn’t matter is not that you might be short, or bald, or fat, or have an accent. The power lies in what you do about it. Learn psychology, study self-improvement, take language classes, improv classes, join a gym, read more books, approach more pretty women to build your confidence. Make the best of your situation. Change what you can, and ignore what you can’t. Stay positive, believe, and work hard. In that sense, your looks don’t matter.
2. Play the numbers. The biggest reason some guys excel, and others fail, is because they just don’t try often enough. On bootcamps I crack the whip. “Another, again, one more!” In daygame, the worst newbie can get a phone number at least once within ten attempts. But most guys won’t try ten times a month. You should be trying ten times a day.
3. Lack of improvisational skills. “I don’t know what to say” syndrome is an excuse. With all the limitless YouTube vids, ebooks, and online courses covering “What to say to girls” there is no excuse. The issue is men understand the theory, but they are uncomfortable with improvisation. Improv classes will work, but my best advice is to record your interactions on your phone, and listen to them critically. Don’t go in with a script, try to express your flirtations on the whim. Learn from your mistakes and develop creative wit.
4. Afraid to make mistakes. My novel is called “A Thousand Tiny Failures” because I had to fail thousands of times. Those mistakes, saying the wrong thing, pissing off a nearby boyfriend, creeping someone out, are part of the process of becoming a man. “Play to fail” is something I tell newbies. Let go of your need for control. We men tend to be control freaks. Especially all you software engineer, analytical types. Seduction is more art than science. Learn to improvise.
5. Get closer. In daygame, if you can’t reach your arm out and touch her, you are too far away. In a bar this is a given. But if you have the balls to approach direct in the day, but you stand four feet away from her, it creates a cognitive dissonance in the girl. “Why is he so bold to approach me, yet so timid?” Students are often afraid of coming off as too pushy, or aggressive, or creepy so try to play the nice guy, and not invade her space. This has the opposite effect and comes off as creepier than if you were confident. If she stops, and listens and engages you, then you are not in her space…she is in yours.
6. Vocal Tonality. All newbies have the problem of upwards inflection, or “Up Talk.” The squeaky, high pitched question mark sound, “Oh really?” is a sure sign that you are a beta pretending to be alpha. Eliminate this beggar’s voice from your game.
7. Bad logistics. If you’re into game and you live ten miles away in the suburbs, or a small town, consider moving to a high density, downtown core for at least a year. More women, more options, and a close location for pulling will do wonders for your sex life.
8. Bad grooming and fashion. Looks may not matter, but wearing clean, interesting clothes and being well groomed can raise your looks from a 6 to a 7. Of course you should hit the gym and watch your diet, but most of my clients need to go shopping. Learn a little bit about fashion. If you know absolutely nothing, just buy one new outfit from Zara and you’ll be fine. But nose hair, my bitter enemy, or unibrows, dirty teeth, long fingernails, are all big turn offs for women. It’s so bad that sometimes I bring nail and nose clippers to day 1 of my bootcamps. Yeah, the things I do for my boys.
9. Nothing interesting in your brain. Guys that “Don’t know what to say” are usually left brain logic minded men. When I ask them “What are the last three books you read?” they usually list of either game books, psychology books, science, technical or self-help. They expose themselves to very little outside of these subjects. I read history, fiction, biography, philosophy, even graphic novels. My mind is full of interesting subjects. I also love music, art, movies and poetry. Read different sorts of books, absorb interesting films, and put things in your brain that will emerge in your conversations outside of your usual, left brain subjects.
10. Ego. Most guys have no concept of why they are the way they are. “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle is mandatory reading for all my students. I call it “Ego for dummies.” I could write a whole book on why this knowledge is essential for mastering seduction, so I’ll leave it up to you, the student, to explore this book and apply it’s knowledge in your own life. But the fact is, there is no “You.” Your identity is an illusion, and you are free to reinvent yourself with a little self-awareness and hard work.

I’m back in Vancouver and accepting clients. Want to find more success with women? It takes work, and I’d like to help you out.