When You’re Not Her Type

She pulled out of my embrace. I couldn’t help but stare at her breasts.  She didn’t mind. “You know,” she said, playfully wrinkling her nose, “you’re not really my type.”

Here was another random bar girl, and I was doing my charming thing amongst a throng of drunks. It was working.

“I’m usually only into tall guys. You’re too short.” She continued. “But…you’re smart, so it’s ok.”

At this point we were already cuddlling. Her hands on my shoulders, my crotch near enough to hers she could feel…it. I leaned away, swigged my pint and said, “Tall to women is what big breasts are to men.”

“I have big breasts!” She boasted, pushing them against me and almost pushing me into a table.

“Yeah you do,” I said, pushing her back and then pulling her close again. “But it doesn’t matter. My last girlfriend had small ones, and they were great. Nice little handfuls.”

“No they weren’t.” She chimed.

“Yes, they were. And she had great legs. I also like legs.”

She looked at me skeptically–a common test of some sort–so I pressed my face between her breasts and yelled, “Motorboat! Brrrrrr!”

Men are initially attracted by biological urges. We consciously measure hip to waist ratio, fullness of lips, smoothness of skin, volume of hair. We evaluate and judge. Can we get her? Is she in our league?

Women are attracted by physical beauty. But get this: We will never be better looking than women. So instead of stressing about that bald spot, we use our big throbbing organ: the cerebral cortex.

Unfortunately being smart doesn’t always help in seduction. Higher intelligence can hurt your game. Smart guys will dive into their logic mechanisms and logic their way to masturbation. Sometimes it’s better to let your dick do the thinking. Instead of telling a story, squeeze her bum. Instead of discussing your theological beliefs, yell, “Shots, shots, shots!” Either that or sarge bookstores.

The trick is to keep the girl off balance, on the verge of a connection, infinitely curious. Be mysterious, fluid and adaptable. When they think that they have you, pull away, turn your back, act offended. When they are acting out, or shooting lippy comments, be extra polite, double plus charming. When they think you’re really smart, motor boat their tits.

Predictable behaviour, most of the time, is good for long term relationships, bad for pickup.

If a woman isn’t giving you a chance to run your game because you aren’t tall enough; if she becomes offended and testy with a simple gamey comment, then she isn’t worth wasting time on. That woman will be fucked left, right, and upside down by handsome men and end up a cat lady.

When I say weird shit to women, it’s not to impress them, or attract them; it’s to screen them. I’ll say something like, “Dragons vs Ninjas? Go!” If she looks at me blankly, and wanders away across the sticky, ale soaked dance floor, she wasn’t for me. It’s not my game that is off; she lacks imagination, intelligence, or self-esteem. How do I know? Because I possess all of these qualities (delusions of grandeur). Running tight game is like preening in a mirror, because you’ll ultimately attract yourself. This is called chemistry. Opposites can attract, but it’s rare and fleeting, so be willing to walk away from a mismatch. (This doesn’t mean egoic ejection because you were rejected).

If she says you’re not her “type,” realize this…women have no “type.” The last fifteen women I slept with told me I was not their “type.” But they liked me because I was different. I stood out from the herd, with imagination, and boldness. What women say, and what they feel, are completely separate entities.

Creativity is a skill you can improve. Take improv classes, read many books, approach beautiful women and let loose the fury of your aching groin-soul. You’ll be fine. You’re someone’s type. They just don’t know it yet.