Update on My Life
It’s been awhile since I talked about my personal life.
A few years ago I had a bit of a breakdown. I felt burnt out on this topic: masculinity, pickup, dating, relationships, sexuality. I figured I’d explored everything there was, and anything I’d write would be just another rehash of things I’d said a thousand times.
I was also burnt out from “dating” myself. I wasn’t finding chasing women to be nearly as fun as it once was. I started seeing women as adversaries, relying on their affection as a source of validation that I was a good coach.
So I stopped blogging, quit creating content, stopped coaching, and of course… went broke. I had savings, but got murdered by the Canadian tax system. Thankfully I’m all paid up now and out of debt.
Change of Plans
Running a consulting business doesn’t need a lot of overhead. If you’re willing to put in the time and cram out loads of content, you can succeed. But I just couldn’t write another post. Instead I worked as a furniture delivery guy, and then got certified as a lamp operator for the film industry.
I realized quickly I didn’t want to do either of those, so I went into copywriting. I took courses, and got a full time copywriting job.
When everyone in Canada started losing their minds over the virus, I packed my bag and went to Mexico. There I could live without restrictions. I was making good money, so rented an apartment in Puerto Escondido, and had a great time there enjoying my freedom in the tropical sun.
But I ended up butting heads with a very stubborn boss, and he fired me. So I went freelance for a time and was doing great. Because of Covid, everyone and their dog started an online business from home, and the vast majority had no idea how to write copy. So I had more work than I could take on.
But the party ended abruptly when 3 things happened:
- Covid ended, these new businesses failed, and everyone went back to their real jobs
- The economy went to shit
- ChatGPT was released to the public
So I moved back home and stayed with my Mother for a year. Some people might think that’s lame, but I felt very privileged to be able to live in my hometown and reconnect with my family while I got my coaching business back in order, paid my debt, and rested.
AI
I was using some copywriting software called Jasper before GPT, and it was very helpful. But ChatGPT was another level. Within one day of using it, I realized this was going to change the writing game dramatically; and it has.
Nobody knew what writers were worth anymore. Not only employers, but freelancers now had access to incredibly powerful, free AI that could crank out pretty decent copy and content in seconds, rather than hours, or days. Employers used to be able to tell who the good writers were just from their CV and pitch. Now all these Pakistani writers are sending queries written by AI, and most people can’t tell the difference.
So by then, myself, and every other freelance writer I knew was out of work.
I saw the future, and it wasn’t good for traditional creatives in marketing. The future will mean working as an “AI Marketing Systems Manager.” That means if you’re not using all of the AI tools, and cranking out ten times the content, for ¼ of the price, in ¼ of the the time, you’ll be pushed out of the market.
Sure, the AI isn’t as good as the best humans yet, but it will be. It’s only matter of years, not decades. The same thing that happened to writers will also happen to artists, musicians, graphic designers… and basically all white collar workers. Then the physical robots will come, and blue collar workers are next.
Don’t believe me? Just two years ago, AI could barely make a realistic looking picture, now it can create incredible video content, and soon will be able to make on demand movies, and even video games, with just a few prompts.
People argue with me that this wouldn’t happen in my lifetime. I believe it will be only a few years before all of the most popular media is created entirely by AI, and we won’t know the difference. Great cinema, art, music, and books will be created in mere seconds, where it would take weeks, months or years for a human.
But that’s for another article.
The Future for Creatives
If you’re a middle of the road creative… unless you become an AI manager, you’re fucked. And I saw that clearly.
However, try asking ChatGPT how to get laid on a Friday night. It will give you a long lecture about morality, respect, and then toss you some copy paste advice sure to get you in the friend zone. Most of the AI systems are incredibly woke.
So I went back to my old business, helping guys with women, but now instead of running bootcamps, I focused on Zoom coaching.
After that, I did some travelling. I went from Mexico to Guatemala, Colombia, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Taiwan, Thailand, Bali, and Vietnam. I’ve now been to 30 countries.
I rebooted my website, did some SEO research, created a Skool Community to house my online courses, focused on Youtube, and started networking with other dating gurus. I’ve found myself busier than ever.
This year was a record year for me, profit wise. And I’m getting my clients even better results over Zoom than I did during bootcamps.
I realize I loved coaching again, and this business model with streaming video allows me to teach from anywhere in the world.
The last time I was in Canada, I went out for a burger and a beer with some friends. It cost $33. I looked at the bill in disbelief.
My Future
Right now I live in Danang, Vietnam. I eat out every day, twice a day. I sometimes have a beer or two. I have a gym pass at the best gym in the city. It has an olympic size swimming pool, two steam rooms, two saunas, a cold plunge, with Yoga, Kickboxing, and personal training included.
I have unlimited 5g phone data for $8 a month. I rent a 155 cc Yamaha scooter, and live two minutes walk from the beach. I live in a hotel with a coworking space, a rooftop pool, and cafe attached. I’m hard pressed to spend more than $25 a day.
Next week I’m moving on to Bali for two months.
I’m what you call a digital nomad.
And btw, I love coaching over Zoom. While a bootcamp only focuses on approach anxiety, my twelve week program allows me to really deep dive with my clients. We can really dig into the issues holding them back.
I used to have a running joke about bootcamps. I’d show up on day one and say, “Congratulations! You’ve paid me thousands of dollars to give you permission to hit on women. Let’s go.”
Now, with twelve hours of one-on-one time, we can go deep into issues like achieving goals, overcoming fear, ego awareness, relationship management, texting, conversation game, and so much more. I love it.
Creating content can still be a drag. I put stuff out into the void and rarely hear anything back. But this is a thankless job. You can’t do it for validation.
The big lesson I learned is that helping people is very fulfilling. And everyone loves teaching.
As of now I’m going to keep on coaching. I’ve been at it for 16 years, and I’m very good at what I do. I have many clients who have gone from virginity to absolute Chads, and a few have even gotten married.
I’m also chipping away at a sci fi novel.
I’ll also continue to travel, until I save enough to buy a house. I’m really not sure where I’ll settle down, if ever. I rather enjoy the nomad life.
I just thought I’d share what I’ve been up to.
My advice to you: whatever situation you find yourself in, if you want to improve it, you can. You may need to hit rock bottom to pull the trigger, to course-correct. But if you dream big, focus, create a strategy and take action, you can change your life for the better.
Tony Depp.
