These 2 Nice Guy Behaviours Kill a Woman’s Attraction
Have you ever met a girl that just blew your heart wide open?
Simply thinking about her boiled your blood and sent your imagination soaring.
Scoring her would be like winning the lottery. It would have fixed all of your problems, solved global warming and lured Tupac out of hiding.
And did you finally get your dream girl only to mess it up by being too attentive? Too available? Too much of a nice guy?
#Metoo.
I Blew it With Her
As a kid, there was a girl I was infatuated with.
She came to play volleyball at my school. I couldn’t peel my eyes off of her. A year later we ended up in the same high school, and I finally found the guts to ask her out. She said yes!
After school, I’d rush to her house to make out. I was a teenage virgin and scoring my dream girl was an incredible victory. I couldn’t keep my horny little paws off her.
After a few weeks, my rampant teenage libido annoyed her. But I didn’t know what else to do. She started acting aloof, and distant. The further she pulled away, the more insecure I felt.
So I’d call her as soon as I got home. “Hey babe, how are you? Just checking in!” She’d sigh, tell me she was fine, and we’d talk until she’d have to go do her “homework.”
I thought I was being a good, attentive boyfriend. But I was annoying her.
After two months she dumped me. And I don’t blame her. The next day I saw her in the hallway, kissing the captain of the rugby team. He even smiled at me.
Needy Men Repulse Women
It was 100% my fault. I was needy, insecure, jealous, and clingy. But looking back, it’s one particular behaviour that sealed the nail in that coffin…
I was too touchy.
No, not douchey. That would have helped. I was Touchy.
How Over-Touching Can Ruin Your Relationship
I couldn’t keep my hands off her. If we weren’t holding hands or cuddling, I didn’t feel secure. I couldn’t just hang out without putting my mitts all over her beautiful body.
While it may feel natural to explore your woman’s body, to hold her tight, to give her affection, it sends her monkey brain the wrong message.
In the short term, it feels great for both of you, but in the long term, it destroys her attraction.
Any women reading this are likely fuming “That’s not true my boyfriend touches me all the time and we’re in love! I love him!”
I know! Okay. This is for men who are not your amazing boyfriend. They’re for the guys who keep getting dumped and friend-zoned. Message me when you’ve dumped that guy and we’ll talk.
Too Much Touch is Feminine Behaviour
Touching, cuddling, and physical affection (in romance) is inherently feminine.
It’s her job to seek your physical touch. Not yours to offer it in abundance.
Look at these pictures, and tell me which intuitively feels right, or wrong. As a man you know on a deep, instinctual level, that you shouldn’t be leaning on your woman.
Why We Lean on Women
Do you remember when you were a boy? You were playing in the backyard with friends when Billy the Bully punched you in the nose. It didn’t hurt that bad, but then Mama arrived and the tears flowed.
She picked you up and said, “Show me where it hurts my boy.”
You pointed, “Right here mommy. It hurts weal bad.” You laid your head on her shoulder, smelling her sweet motherly scent, and she cuddled you while whispering everything was going to be alright, and you’re a very big boy.
Is that how you want your woman to see you? Like a little boy suckling on his mommy’s teat?
There’s a better way, young Jedi.
Women don’t want man-babies. They want a monster.
I’m not saying you can never lean on your woman, just don’t overdo it. We all love touch and affection, but if you act like her child, you will be treated like one.
Your Girlfriend/Wife is Not Your Mommy
Leaning on her heavily, or often is bad form.
It says:
- You aren’t experienced with beautiful women
- Her body is a novelty
- You need her reciprocal touch for validation and security
- You see her as a mother rather than a lover
This leads to our bonus nice guy mistake:
Being too available for her.
Being Too Available Turns Women Off
Back to my first girlfriend.
I stressed that if I left her alone, I’d lose her. Women are like cats: squeeze too tight, they flee.
By constantly checking in on her, and asking if everything was, “alright,” I displayed many bad characteristics like insecurity, doubt, jealousy, and neediness.
I didn’t even learn from this lesson. It took many more women dumping me quickly for other MEN. And not until I found the seduction community and all their often misguided advice did I finally clue into my mistakes.
Tips (Girlfriend Retainment System)
How do you keep a woman happy and secure?
- It’s totally fine for her to wonder where you are.
- It’s wonderful for her to miss you.
- No, it’s NECESSARY that she wonders where you are, and misses you.
While a man’s fondness for a woman grows with time spent together, her fondness grows with time apart.
The more time you spend apart, the more she’ll wonder if you’re with other women, or why you don’t seem to care. The better you are with girls, the more you’ll hear: “It’s like you don’t care.”
That’s because you don’t care, or you’re good at pretending.
It’s not that you don’t care about her, you just know you’d be fine without her.
It’s Not Neglect. It’s Necessary
I’m not saying you should neglect, or ignore your woman. If you’re not with her at all, then she’s not yours. I’m saying don’t be available 24/7. Take more time for yourself, time apart.
While you may feel that you’re being attentive and caring by being always available, her subconscious attraction for you will plummet.
She won’t even know why she doesn’t care anymore. But it will be your fault. Because you’re such a nice guy.
Be on Your Mission Without Women
A man should have a life mission that doesn’t involve his woman.
Whether that’s building a fence, your Internet business, or your physique. Do something that takes you away to improve yourself, either on your own or with your tribe of men.
What’s the consequence of ignoring this advice?
Suddenly she doesn’t love you, and you’ll have no idea what happened.
You’ll think, “But I was always there for her. I showered her with attention, gave her massages, held her hand, bought her gifts, gave her compliments, texted her every hour, was never late for our dates… and she dumped me. Women are crazy!”
Look at this article from a mainstream dating advice column. If a woman is “begging” for your attention, you’re doing it right!
I’m not saying you should “Game” your girlfriend, just act more like a man, and less like a manboy.
She Needs Time on Her Own – Even if She Doesn’t Know it
I always tell my girlfriends that I’m not a big texter, I work a lot, and we don’t need to be together every single day. And most women are totally cool with that.
I find they like having guidelines so they’re not left wondering. “Okay, he’s down to hang out 2/3/5 days a week, Tuesdays are his work days, Saturday is game night.”
Spending time away from your girls does not mean you don’t care. It’s the opposite: it means you care A LOT and want your time together to be special, not cheap.
She Wants To Follow Your Lead
She needs to follow you. She doesn’t want to be followed, not physically, metaphorically, or spiritually.
This doesn’t mean she can’t teach you things, or lead you down new paths. But she should never feel like you need her more than she needs you.
By being always available, and always touchy, you communicate that you’re low value, soft, needy, and weak.
She won’t even realize she’s losing her attraction to you. She’ll just wake up one day and think… “I don’t feel anything but annoyed by him. The nicer and more attentive he is, the more I dislike being with him. I’m out.”
How Much Affection is Enough?
Look, I LOVE cuddling. I love hand-holding, kissing, hugging, stroking, poking, sucking… all of it. And I’m sure you do too.
But this isn’t about our needs. This is about her, and keeping her attraction high so she doesn’t leave us for the milkman.
There’s no arbitrary rule for how often, or how much of your time and physical attention you should give your woman.
Study other men with their women.
Are there men you admire? Men who are great with women? Or have loyal wives, girlfriends, or women around them?
Do the women seem genuinely happy, or is it a front? Does she disrespect him in public? Or is she calm, collected and fair? Does she look to him for guidance, or drive the relationship like it’s her car?
Watch how these guys act around their women. How much do they touch them, and when? How much affection and attention do they give them? How much time do they spend with them? Pay attention.
Now take some time to look back at some of your dating fails, and ask yourself: Did I screw this up? Was it really ME after all, and not her?
