Ten Tips To Beat Daygame Approach Anxiety

“Tony I want to daygame, but  I have approach anxiety.

“I just can’t. My fu&kn legs won’t move. I see those girls but when I open my mouth nothing comes out. I don’t know what to say. Help meeeeee. Heeellp MEEEEEE Tony!!”

I hear this a lot. 

You want to daygame: you see all those boner popping nymphs cruising around the mall, eating little gourmet cupcakes and looking great, but you can’t get over your approach anxiety. You don’t have any verbal game, you think. It just seems hopeless… impossible.

Honestly, if you’re sure you can’t do it on your own… hire me. I’m going to be in Europe all Summer, starting with Berlin and then Poland. Get coaching and have a travel adventure? Two birds, one stone. Or you could sign up for phone/Skype coaching. 

I have coaches working in Vancouver and Toronto as well. 

So why not contact me for a free consultation? 

And now…

How To Beat Approach Anxiety for Daygame

1. Don’t Think

All anxiety is first manifested either in the head, or in the heart. 

It comes with a burst of non-stop egoic chatter, and a flood of adrenaline. 

They’re connected in a loop, like a figure 8 race track where the cars speed faster, and faster, forever. 

The more you think – the more your heart races – the more it races – the more you think. 

The thoughts sound like this: 

“You don’t have to do this. You can try again tomorrow. She’s probably busy. You don’t want to be rude, she’s texting. You might be creepy. Try later. She’s too hot. Try someone less hot.” 

Your heart: “Pump! Pump! Pump!”

The result? 

FEAR

If you want to stop the race, you have to destroy the track. So likewise, to halt the approach anxiety, you have to break the thought-loop. 

If your head is the perp of this crime, then arrest him. Catch those stupid, useless thoughts and tell them to shut up. This is learning to master your thoughts. 

If your heart is the guilty party, you have to regain control of it, make it calm and shut off the adrenal valves. This is learning to master your emotions. 

So in order to completely eradicate approach anxiety forever, all you have to do is become a total master of your thoughts and emotions. 

No problem. Right? Ehehehe… heh.. Hmmm. 

Meditation can help 

I was Chiang Mai, Thailand a few weeks ago. There’s a monastery not far from there. It’s by donation. They have a one week minimum commitment for their meditation program. If that’s not your cup of java, there are all sorts of cults that can teach you how. Or go on Youtube and look up “how to meditate for shyness.” 

A much easier and more fun way is to approach women. You’ll lose approach anxiety faster by going direct thirty times than spending thirty days in silence with some Buddhists. 

2. Go with a friend

I know day gamers who spent years crying on pickup groups about their approach anxiety, and when finally go to a real life meet up, they just do it. It must be the peer pressure. There’s something motivational about not wanting to look like a total pussy. 

“People are watching. I better do this. I don’t want to be the guy that didn’t even try. How can I hang with these guys if I can’t even approach once?” 

And that’s it. They’re motivated. Social shaming works. So mock that friend who’s too weak to talk to women. It might help. 

3. Have a drink

God gave the world alcohol for one reason: so we could all get laid a little bit easier. 

What about weed Tony? 

Here’s the problem with pot. It takes you out of the present moment and puts you into a spectator role. You see everything from the third person, and interpret it in real time. This is terrible for approach anxiety. If you don’t have approach anxiety and you smoke a bunch of weed… Shazam! Now you do. 

Alcohol on the other hand puts you in the present moment. When you’re drunk you don’t think about consequences. That’s why it’s the preferred stimulant of choice for budding man-whores. It just makes the whole process easier. 

Now, I don’t recommend you all go get plastered to daygame. You don’t need it. And alcohol can definitely become a crutch. But if all else fails, and you just can’t find any other solution… drink a tall pint, then try again. What have you got to lose other than your driving license or hard won sobriety? 

I’m not kidding. I’ve taken hard case daygame students for a quick lager, and then back to the field. It helps like a temporary power-up in a video game. 

However, there is a cost. That might be a slight headache, a drop in over all energetic longevity, or worse. So drink booze only as an experiment, and not as a habit. 

4. Warm ups

When you go to the gym (if) do you just walk straight from the change room to the deadlift, and break your last weeks record? No, because you’ll blow your spleen, and end up a quivering pulp on the gym floor. Well then, why would you do the same thing with daygame? Hmmm?

I’m an old hand, and I still do warmups. I’ll warm up on the Greenpeace fund raisers, the bra-hawkers at La Senza, the mail lady, the convenience store clerk. 

If you know that today you’ll want to do some daygame, why go in cold? Talk to everyone, not just the hottest girls you see all day. Because if you’re an AA case, you’re not going to just run up to her cold; not unless you have a dating coach there yelling and brainwashing you with motivational speeches. You need to be warm.

So talk to the old man on the subway, to the little kids running through sprinklers, to the old man selling Cialis from a suitcase. 

Then at least when you decide to confront your crippling approach anxiety and actually do some daygame, you won’t be cold as my ex girlfriend’s heart. That bitch. 

5. Hypnosis/NLP

It helps if you have a hypnotist friend who can follow you around and brainwash you. That’s basically my job. 

“Go hit on her.” I say. 

“But… really? That one?” they reply, shaking in terror. 

“Yes.” 

“But, I don’t know… what should I say? Can we try the next one?” 

“No… I don’t care. Go now.” 

(Student trembles, eyes dilate, head begins swivelling, seeking options for escape…)

This is when I use hypnosis, or Neuro-Linguistic Programming scripts on him. And here’s one, free of charge. (I stole this from Ross Jeffries). 

“Pick a spot on the ground, or a wall, and stare at it…

“Breathe deeply in through your nose, and out through your mouth…

“Relax…

“Imagine a suit of power armor coming down from the sky, going over your head and encasing you completely from head to toe. You’re safe now. You don’t have to approach anyone. Nobody can see you. Now a supercharged gel is filling up from bottom to top, imbuing you with super-human strength, courage, and charm. Inside this shell you feel awesome! You’re a powerful, attractive man. The gel has given you super powers!

“Then I grab a zipper at the top of your head, and pull it down. The gel spills out, and you’re a God! Now go!” I say.

And almost always, they go. 

What happens here is called “resistance.” Whenever you feel that terror, that little voice chatting, reasoning you out of the right action with excuses and justification, this is resistance. 

Resistance involves creating a fantasy movie in your mind. You sit like a spectator in a theatre and watch it, analyzing the million and half ways it could all go horribly wrong. In the end, you do nothing. You have decisionphobia. 

When you go into a trance, mediate, become hypnotized, you should imagine the million ways things could go right. You can virtually experience your desired outcome, and defeat resistance before it manifests.

The fear really is all “in your head.” 

Then taking action becomes easy. You’ve already done the hard part… getting started, in you imagination. So the actual action is easy, because you’re already in motion. 

To make this simple: 

Vividly imagine doing something you’re resisting, and then having imagined the positive outcome, immediately start doing the thing you’ve been afraid of. 

That should help with you beat your daygame approach anxiety. 

6. Go Really Indirect

If you can’t tell a girl you think she’s hot, then the last resort is to go really indirect. I mean asking for direction to the toilet, the Whole Foods, or asking for the time. Just ask some boring question that won’t get you much further than a finger point, or a yes or no answer. 

At least it’s a start. At least you’re sort of approaching, which is better than nothing at all. 

7. Use Money

Give $100 in twenties to a friend. Tell him to give you a twenty back every time you approach a girl. Maybe this will motivate you, maybe not. 

I’ve tried this with hard case clients only for them to look at me and say “Keep the money.” Probably because if they can afford thousands of dollars for a dating coach, they can afford to lose $100.

At that point I usually threaten violence, extreme public humiliation, or hypnotize them. 

Maybe you value your money more than they do? 

8. Don’t Jerk Off

Try going a month without releasing your man seed. You won’t have daygame approach anxiety when you’re explosively horny. 

• No porn
• No whacking

Some guys can go a day without smacking the purple monkey. Some guys can go a four. But not many can go two weeks or more. 

Last this long and you’ll feel like you’re losing your goddamn mind. If this doesn’t motivate you to go out and try, I don’t know what will. 

9. Hire A Coach

If nothing else works—if you just can’t—then hire a dating coach. Pay someone to motivate, hypnotize, bully and shame you into action. 

In ten years of this job there’s no guy I couldn’t motivate to at least try. Not one. You would be no different. 

It’s really all in your head

So there are a bunch of tools to help you overcome your daygame approach anxiety. I hope it helps you to find your balls, get out and meet some girls. 

I know some coaches that will just call you a pussy for not approaching. And maybe you are. Being afraid to approach women is a fairly minor problem, with a simple fix. Just do it. And if you just can’t, there’s a bright side… at least you’re not addicted to Heroin, or born without legs (unless you’re both, then I’m sorry). 

Tony D.