Should You Go To Bars Even if You Don’t Like Bars?

I’ve been a daygame specialist for many years. But before that, I was a seasoned bar star. 

By bar star I mean a socially anxious 27-year-old lost in the wild streets of Montreal.

Before this stage of my life I only went to live music venues. I couldn’t stand the mainstream dance music and found most people in dance clubs way too normie to be relateable. I also dance like a drunk elk. 

You could say I didn’t like bars. No, I was a punk rocker, and I hated dance clubs.

But learning cold approach changed my opinion. 

How I Came To Enjoy Bars

Back in 2007 when I discovered this community, there was very little advice about meeting women in the daytime. 

The most popular methods were Mystery Method, and RSD. Both were geared towards meeting women in clubs, bars and parties. So that’s what I did, reluctantly at first. Or at least that’s what I tried to do and usually failed miserably.

After going out to bars nearly seven nights a week after around 90 days I finally picked up a girl. She was 18 and gorgeous as peach nectar in the Alabama sunshine. 

I slept with her twice and tossed her like a banana peel. 

I think back and miss her. But I was on an adventure to make love with as many beautiful women as possible. I wanted to make up for years of abstinence. 

Then I moved to Vancouver and proceeded to grind out boot camps for other socially adverse misfits. I also flew around the world teaching students everywhere from London to Bangkok to Los Angeles. 

I miss the naivety of those days. it was difficult and ego crushing, but a true adventure. My five year jaunt into the club scene while mostly forgettable (aside from the girls) was actually one of my most transformative experiences, self-development wise. 

I came to enjoy going to bars. I was more into hipster clubs and dive bars than high end clubs. They were a bit closer to my punk rocker roots. However, I did find the women better looking in the higher end spots. 

Why I Switched to Daygame

It wasn’t until I was teaching a boot camp in a Vancouver bar when the student asked me, “Hey Tony, tomorrow can we try daygame instead?” I’d tried a few times but never really did direct openers. 

So the next day we went down to Robson and Granville, spotted a beauty, took a deep breath to calm my nerves, jogged up to her and said, “Hey you’re really cute, I’m Tony.” 

My heart was pounding, the adrenaline flowing, but she smiled politely and accepted my approach. We talked for a few minutes, I think I got her number and walked back triumphant to my awaiting students. 

And no we didn’t bang. She didn’t even text me back, which is the way of cold approach, but it was still an enjoyable experience. And after a day of meeting women in the mall, on the streets, at bookstores and the beach, I was back home in time for dinner and an early sleep. 

 it didn’t take long before I was picking up, dating, girls I met sober in the daytime. 

Nightgame Gave Me PTSD

They say don’t turn your passions into work and I know why. I came to Loathe bars again. 

I despised the hordes that bob their heads and raise their hands at some stranger standing behind a laptop while sucking back overpriced alcohol, pretending it’s fun, all in the hopes of meeting someone to fuck or releasing the frustrations of a dull life.

I also started to associate bars with crying students. Bars felt like work. I didn’t want to endure another night of hitting on and being rejected by dozens of women, to go home alone and try it all again tomorrow. I think I just got older. 

Yeah, I became a bit cynical. But I’m better now. 

If you want to know more about my story, read it here at DatingAdvice.com.

I got what you might call PTSD for nightlife. Or maybe I just hit middle age. But I remember one awful night with students having emotional fits, enduring far too loud top 40 rubbish, followed by a stream of hostile rejections and I said I have it, screw… it no more nightgame for me. Daygame only. 

And it turns out many men only want to learn daygame. And now I’m one of the most experienced daygame coaches in the world. 

But I wouldn’t be nearly as effective a coach if I hadn’t spent all those years running around bars. It battle hardened me, and developed an emotional fortitude most daygame only guys will never achieve. 

How is NightGame Different from Daygame? 

Some people say daygame is nightgame with the lights on. This isn’t remotely true. 

Nightgame is chaotic. For most guys, on top of dealing with “What to say” syndrome, approach-anxiety and insecurity, there’s loud music, large groups of drunk friends, cockblockers, and competition from other men. 

Nightgame can be very fun and rewarding, but also expensive and bad for your mental and physical health. It all depends on if you drink, stay out early until the morning, and have to taxi home. And average guy can spend $40 – $200 for a night out, and write off the next day if you suffer hangovers. 

Of course you can go out and not drink. Many men don’t drink. I do, so it became a problem. 

Daygame is free, focused, and you’re home by dinner. 

The downside of daygame is a lack of options. 

If you’re lucky enough to live in a walkable, high urban density city like Toronto, New York, London, or even Medellin, you’re going to love daygame. If you live in a rural, suburban, or vehicle centric American strip mall hell, you’re going to have a difficult time getting into flow. 

Many of my students travel an hour or more to hunt their favourite daygame spots. They spend hours hoofing it around malls, park beaches, scanning coffee shops and gyms. And all most of these guys want is a pretty girlfriend. 

In a club you can approach a dozen beauties an hour.

So for those guys I recommend bars. You’ll have to go where the women go at night. Sure you have to stay up late, and bars and clubs can be stressful for newbies, but what choice do you have? 

Should You Go Even if You Hate Bars? 

Who knows, with practice you may come to enjoy, or even love nightlife. I’ve had many epic adventures with beautiful women that started by walking alone into a bar. 

The way you think and feel is a choice. You can choose to have a better attitude. There are far worse experiences in life than meeting women in bars or clubs. But personally, nothing beats a good house party.

And if you are an avid daygamer, learning to pick up girls in bars can only help develop your confidence, charisma, and skillset. 

Should you go to bars even if you don’t like bars? 

Sure, why not? I did. Can’t say I regret the experience.