Men Never Listen: Vancouver Women Tell Us What They Want

The same could be said for any city, but Vancouver women are lonely, bored, and frustrated with men’s inability to approach them and initiate romance.

But don’t take my word for it, here are several quotes from mainstream Vancouver news sources, where they validate our mutual beliefs, and my job: A confidence coach.

Do Vancouver Men Suck? – Van Mag

Together they sketch a composite picture of a passive guy with no plan, uninterested and uninteresting.

Referring above to two women discussing men who, “Don’t know what to say or do;” which is the number one complaint I receive from my clients, and a large part of our training. We utilize improvisation, humour, and focus on being easy going with a high degree of self-awareness, empathy and emotional control. We also develop a dating strategy that involves approaching new women, or men, to increase one’s social circle.

Even those who’ve left their parents’ house, they complain, are laid-back to a fault, too lazy or inept to make small talk in a bar, ask a woman out, make reservations, or dress appropriately. Natalie sums it up: “Guys have lost the idea of what girls want on a date.

So they want us to become more focused on career and lifestyle ambition, and dress and groom ourselves. Check. As for dates, we should be leading them.

She traces the city’s dating problems to a culture where “masculinity is not celebrated or desired, so the manly men go underground.”

Yet we’re shamed in the media for approaching women, and attempting to display our masculinity. Good thing we’re listening to what you’re saying.

Even the city’s obsession with sports and the outdoors is feminized: it’s mostly about play in a posh, manicured landscape. When you add a plethora of stunningly fit, beautiful, and successful women onto that background (many women I spoke with were impressed with the fabulousness of Vancouver women), men retreat in confusion.

That sounds incredibly sexist ladies. I don’t think the local Feminist groups would agree with you there.

Most men don’t see that they are being boors.

Well they do eventually, so they hire a dating coach or pickup artist to help them.

VanCityBuzz – Vancouver Men Are The Pickiest In Canada

I mean, how many months of interactions do we have to have before you balls up and ask me out? Oh wait…you won’t.

This we call, “Pulling The Trigger,” or, Making a bold move.” We also have a mandate of, “ABC,” which stands for, “Always be closing.” This usually refers to saying something like, “You’re really fun. How about we exchange numbers and I’ll call you later?”

VanCityBuzz – Do Vancouver Women Suck?

Eventually, the social avoidance spreads to other people you see downtown as well. And because some of the beggars are dressed decently, others who are dressed casually might get categorized, too (see hipsters).

This was written by a male author discussing social avoidance because men who dress like hipsters, look like beggars, which turns women off. Well, it turns men off too. I wrote about this in a post that had 622 Facebook shares so far, resulting in a week’s worth of hate mail and death threats, from hipsters.

The Tyee – Men Problems

“Do we have cooties?” a friend asked me a few days ago. “Would it kill them to talk to us?”

Yes we are, but we take approach classes to gain confidence, and when we do, we’re labeled misogynistic rapists and threatened with physical violence in the comment sections of your mainstream press. The above link went down one day after posting this article.

“I assure you, that point was not the intent of my lecture,” says the prof, Dr. Kathleen Bogle, from LaSalle University, who wrote Hooking Up: Sex, Dating and Relationships on Campus.

Bogle says “the worst” narrative gets told in big cities, small towns, and college campuses. So why do women believe their dating lot is particularly sucky? (And no, it can’t just be that women are bitchy, because men have a version of the same complaint too.)

Bogle tells me, “First, research has shown that women complain to one another as a way of bonding. And, nothing bonds women more than complaining about men!

This is the point. Women complain that they aren’t being approached, but then they complain when we approach you. What Do You Want? You want the guy you’re attracted to to approach you. Unfortunately, we don’t know if you’ll find us attractive, until we approach you.

Most of my smart, hot, oddball (in a good way) friends here in Vancouver complain that men never approach them.

I know plenty of men that would love to meet your friend. Send me her pics and email. I’ll hook her up.

Another friend of mine says the reality is we all need to “man up”: take more risks, be more friendly. To which my first friend says, “Give me a frikkin’ break.” It’s hard enough to find a date in this town, never mind change everything about dating culture.

Man up? How sexist.

Just kidding. Trust me, we’re trying! We’re working on it. How about a little support?

Metronews.ca – Dating In Vancouver – Do Singles Really Have It So Bad?

According to the most recent census data available, 55 per cent of Vancouverites between the ages of 15 and 64 are single

Yes. There are lots of singles. That’s why people should educate themselves on how to approach, charm, and date these singles.

And if the U.S. research is to be believed, unhappy singles who spend their time cruising bars might be better advised to enroll in a course, or spend more time flirting with that cute office co-worker.

There you go. Metro News Vancouver tells people to educate themselves by taking courses on flirting, or, “Sexually Harass,” their co-workers.

I always tell men to leave their co-workers alone to avoid losing their jobs if they come off as creepy. That is, until they have a few years of experience, and become more charming, attractive individuals. But Metro News seems to know better than a dating coach with ten years of experience. Not bitter, not at all.

Conclusion

Many, many women in Vancouver want men to approach them. So let’s learn how to do it with confidence, charm and class. They’ve told us what they want, and like good men, we listen.

Share this post on Facebook and Twitter. There’s four thousand of you, men and women, you cowards.