How To Touch a Girl – Without Creeping Her Out
If you’ve already read when to touch a girl, this is the follow-up and explains how to touch a girl without creeping her out.
Touch is one of the most critical aspects of seduction. It’s essential for men who suck at talking or are flirtatiously challenged.
The beauty of touch is that you can say with a squeeze, tickle, poke, brush or caress, what a novel’s worth of words cannot.
This guide is a beginner’s guide. It’s about how to touch a girl you just met, or are on a first date with.
The Power of Touch in Creating Attraction
I was in a hostel in Mexico, sitting on a lower bunk bed when a stunning German girl, about 24 years old, blonde hair, entered the room.
I said, “Hi there.”
“Hello.” She replied.
I motioned her to come closer and tapped on my bed. She sat down. I asked her if she had just arrived in Mexico. She told me she was in herbology, and energy healing. I had a sore knee, from an injury, and she started her Reiki healing on it.
I looked into her pretty eyes, she smiled, so I reached out, pulled her in and hugged her. We lay down on the bed, staring at each other’s faces, and began to talk more.
After this she became my lover. Not until a few days later when we had our second date, but that’s how it started.
It was the touch that made it happen. Not the words, but the lack of them.
Women Communicate With Touch
I used to be a horrible insecure mess around women. I could barely speak to one without having a full-blown panic attack. And touching them? Forget about it.
But I was determined to master the art of seduction. And all the masters said that the subtle art of touching a woman is the secret sauce.
I made it a point to add a light touch to every person I spoke with.
I started by adding more physicality to my approaches.
- A tap on the shoulder
- A handshake
- A hug
- A squeeze on the wrist
- A two-cheek kiss (french or Latin style)
Not just with beautiful women, but with anybody I could, until touching people and being touched back felt normal.
The Science Behind Touch and Attraction
In a 2004 study, a 20-year-old male approached several hundred young women and asked for their phone numbers under the pretext of calling them later for a drink. 1
In one test group, he added a light touch while in the other he didn’t. The results were shocking.
He received 10% compliance from the non-touch group, and 19.2% from the touch group. That is a 92% increase in compliance, simply by adding a light touch.
Touch is proven to demonstrate dominance and higher status, which are very attractive traits to women.
Touching is Normal in Most of the World
For some reason, Western men suffer the most from Notouchitis.
Notouchitis: When one is averse to touching another human being, especially a woman.
I’ve been to nearly thirty countries, and it’s only in English speaking Western countries that we’re so weird about touch.
In Latin America, people greet each other with a kiss on the cheek.
Touching a girl you just met should feel natural, and not weird or creepy. This mindset is more your problem than hers. If you think consensually touching a woman is wrong, then it’s time to change your mind.
The Law of State Transference and Touching a Woman
Mirror neurons are real and responsible for emotional state transference, which means whatever you feel, she feels.
So if you feel it’s creepy to touch her, she’ll sense it and also feel creepy. If you feel it’s completely normal, so will she.
Watch your thoughts and never let negativity run the show. It doesn’t help.
How To Touch Her Without Being Creepy
If you’re stressed about creeping girls out with touch, you’re not alone. Many men stress about this.
How can we not worry about it when we’re constantly bombarded with anti-male #metoo cancel culture propaganda?
I don’t pay much mind to the online narrative. There’s nothing creepy or weird about wanting to connect with and touch beautiful women.
We’re men, that’s what we’re supposed to do. But we need to do it skillfully so that the women want us to touch them. Women are starved for proper romance. Let’s give it to them.
Rough vs smooth touch technique
The problem is roughness. Most young or inexperienced guys aren’t smooth. With women, we want to be smooth… and becoming smooth takes practice.
To get from being terrible at touching people to being natural, charming and smooth may take a few months of effort or more. But once you’re smooth it will feel like you always were.
Now I’ll give you a few tips to come across less creepy, and more smoothly when touching a girl.
Don’t look at your hands (Premeditation)
Everything in the seduction process should feel in the moment, spontaneous, or in “The Now.”
If you touch her on the shoulder and look at your hands, it’s weird because it seems premeditated.
In simple terms, “premeditated” refers to something that is planned rather than spontaneous, which makes touching seem unnatural, or creepy.
Even though you are taking action and trying to manifest more women into your life through touch, it can’t seem that way.
If you’re looking at her rings, or reading her palm, then obviously you’re going to be looking at your hands.
But whenever possible, just touch her while holding eye contact, as if it’s not big deal and you’re just a touchy-feely guy, and not some pickup artist trying to hypnotize her.
Don’t lean In
Go to any nightclub and watch amateurs trying to pick up women. They approach and then lean all over the poor girls.
You’ll see the women leaning away from these guys, trying to signal how uncomfortable they are. Yet, the guys just lean in further and further until the women are almost lying down on the sticky dance floor.
Instead, lean back. You can still use touch but just don’t lean all over her. It’s weird, and looks desperate and amateurish.
Don’t sniff her
For fucks sake, unless you want to be like Joe Biden, don’t sniff her. And don’t tell her how good she smells. Not until you’re already sleeping together. It’s just weird.
Different Zones on The Body and Touch
On the woman’s body, you have erogenous and non-erogenous zones.
You want to start by touching the non-erogenous zones, and then move on up the escalation ladder.
Usually, this happens slowly, but it really depends on the situation. If you’re meeting a woman in a steamy nightclub things can go fast. In most daytime situations, you’ll start with light touch in the non-erogenous zones.
So DO NOT go around grabbing women’s asses before saying hello. Yes, there are a few social retards who read my blog.
Erogenous Zones:
Erogenous zones have heightened sensitivity and can lead to sexual arousal when touched. These zones are densely packed with nerve endings.
Examples: The lips, neck, ears, lower back, inner thighs, breasts, and butt. However, sensitivity can vary greatly from person to person.
Touch in these areas is more intimate and is typically associated with later stages of a relationship. The later stage could be ten minutes, to several days after the first meet.
Non-Erogenous Zones:
Non-erogenous zones are parts of the body that have a less direct connection to sexual arousal but are still important for emotional bonding and comfort.
Examples: Hands, arms, shoulders, and the upper back are commonly considered non-erogenous zones. Touching here shows affection, comfort, and interest without immediate sexual implications.
Touch in these areas can be more casual early in a relationship. It can be used to express interest, build rapport, and increase comfort.
Different Ways to Touch a Girl (Non-Erogenous)
There are many ways to touch a girl to build attraction. I’ll show you a few of them.
Hugs
Did you know you can hug just about anyone? Most people love hugs.
Just look at all those people with cardboard signs on every street corner giving out “Free hugs.”
Personally, I don’t find hugs to be very seductive or flirtatious. But, they are fun. So with girls that you like, use hugs sparingly.
High fives
The high-five is a classic touch technique. The application is simple. You just hold up your hand and say “High five?”
While the high five may seem juvenile, it still initiates touch and shares a good vibe.
Thumb wars
1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a thumb war.
It’s another juvenile game to initiate touching a girl, but it works. Silly games are good in general as they’re fun, flirtatious, and intimate but not too intimate.
Tickling
You may not want to tickle a stranger unless you like being punched. However, if you have even the slightest amount of rapport, tickling a girl can be absolutely hilarious.
Just don’t tickle someone who doesn’t want to be tickled. And it’s not a move you bust out on a total stranger.
Palm reading
Palm reading combines cold reading with touch, and a dash of the mystical.
While it may seem cheesy, it provides a great excuse for touching her hands, as well as making insightful or funny comments.
Analyzing her jewellery
If she’s wearing rings you can ask “Can I see your ring?” This is a great excuse for a little bit of touching.
You can do the same with necklaces and earrings.
Checking out tattoos
If she has tattoos you can ask her what they mean, and then touch them. Most people love talking about their body art, so it’s a great way to get some touch, as well as learn more about her personality and values.
Handshakes
Handshakes aren’t that seductive but if it’s the best you’ve got, then go for it. Just hold out your hand. Most women will understand this universal greeting.
Touching Erogenous Zones
This isn’t a sex guide. But I’ll discuss how you can touch women near their erogenous zones in a totally consensual way.
Incidental Touch
Incidental touch is when you touch someone without meaning to. Like when you accidentally brush her knees with yours under the table, or she leans into you to avoid being splashed by a passing car in the rain.
Incidental touch can also turn suddenly sexual, and become non-incidental
For example, if you’re on a dance floor and you pull her close, your erect penis may press against her thigh or groin.
This can be very exciting for both of you. She may even turn around, and press her ass up against your member, which would appear as incidental when it’s not.
Non-Incidental Touch
Non-incidental touch is when you deliberately touch someone. It could be a hug, a handshake, or a pat on the shoulder.
It could also be explicitly sexual, as in a make-out, or any other touch on an erogenous zone, like the breasts, inner thighs, or lips.
Beginner and Advanced Touch
Everyone starts as a beginner. I know many men, and a few women, who aren’t comfortable touching someone they just met.
However, if you want to date a girl, you need to touch the girl.
While the term “beginner” refers to skill level, it also refers to the start of a relationship, while advanced also means the later stages of a relationship.
You may be wondering how to touch a girl for a date, or a pickup, and not a relationship. But all relationships start with some sort of pickup anyway.
Beginner Touch
- A firm handshake, held a few seconds longer to convey warmth and confidence
- Heartfelt hugs for greeting or saying goodbye
- A light touch on her arm or elbow, to accentuate points of conversation or direct her attention
- High fives to heighten the emotions moments in conversation. Also low fives.
- Fist bumps
- Gentle Arm Guides: When walking together, a light touch on the back or arm can guide her through the door or in a crowd
- Playful hip bumps: Touch your hip to hers in a “bump” motion. Best used on dancefloors but fun anytime
- Arm in arm: You can offer her your arm and she holds your elbow or loops her arm through yours. It’s less intimate than holding hands
- Friendly Elbow Nudges: During a conversation, a nudge can be a playful way to emphasize a point or share a private joke
- Comparing height: Stand with your back to hers and make jokes about how short, or tall she is
- Holding hands is very intimate. However, it’s not advanced. You can hold hands with any girl even if you just met
Advanced Touch :
- Putting your hand on her knees, legs or thighs. Usually when sitting together.
- Sitting close enough for your body to touch, including arms and legs.
- Touching her stomach to increase the feeling of fun and closeness.
- Forehead to forehead
- Brushing away a lock of hair or wiping a mysterious eyelash from her cheek.
- Putting your finger on her lips in a “Shhh, you had me at hello” moment.
- Pulling her closer by the belt, or waist, in a display of dominance
- Placing your hand on her, holding hands, or playing with her fingers to increase intimacy
- Eskimo kissing, or rubbing your nose on hers
- Cupping her chin with your hand; useful for bringing her her closer for a kiss
- Running your fingers through her hair
- Playing footsie under the table
- Giving her a back, hand, neck, or foot massage
- Wrapping your arms around her waist or shoulders from behind.
- Lift her legs and lay them across yours. This works best when you’re sitting. Actually, that’s the only way it works, unless you’re a genie
- Touching her ass: This is best when you’re hugging or making out. Make sure she likes you first
- Kissing and making out is great fun for everyone
If you use your imagination when imagining how to touch a girl, there’s no limit, as long as she’s into you.
What if a Girl Rejects Your Touch?
If you try touching a woman and she rejects you, she will either move her body away or tell you so.
In that case, there’s no need to apologize. Just lean back, and carry on hanging out as if nothing weird happened. If she’s more comfortable and attracted later on, you can try again.
Conclusion
Touch is a powerful tool for connecting romantically with women. It’s really up to your imagination all the ways you can touch a girl – without creeping her out.
Just to recap:
- Touch is proven by science to increase attraction and establish a dominance hierarchy. If you’re not touching, you’re doing yourself dirty.
- Touching is a normal part of human interaction
- Touch is not weird unless you feel like it’s weird
- There are many ways to touch a girl, and this article just explains a few
- If you make a mistake, you can try touching her again later when she’s more comfortable and attracted
If you liked this article, leave a comment and I may make a part 2 for more advanced techniques.
Touch maybe the link to breakthrough to better interactions.The whole it’s wierd to touch a female stranger similar to opening as a begginer.Touches that have got me going,light 3 finger tap back of my shoulder.Bunch your fingers on her knee if sitting and spread them out 1 or 2 times.
Thanks for the article,I could use some work there for sure.Knowing it’s a bit scary for most men at first helps a bit too.
Dave
Yeah it’s not easy for a guy who isn’t use to touch to use it effectively.