How To Tell a Girl You Like Her
Many guys don’t know how to tell a girl they like her. So they get stuck in the dreaded friend zone without any foreseeable escape.
No late night cuddle sessions, no masterful seduction, no romantic camping trips, no reverse cowboy to doggystyle bang fests.
While it may seem obvious to just tell her how you feel, this often causes intense emotions in men like fear of rejection, self-doubt, public humiliation, and a sense of being “creepy.”
If you ask any normie how to express romantic infatuation, or how to hit on a girl they like, they’ll say, “Just tell her!” And while this advice of going direct is fine there are many ways to catch a pussy cat, and it’s not always by running straight towards it.
The Direct Approach
When I teach guys how to approach women in daygame, I always start with the direct opener. It sounds like this:
“Hi, you’re cute. I had to say hello. I’m Tony.”
There’s a hundred variations of this opener. The reason I teach it first is because if you can’t just tell a girl she’s hot, you’re screwed. It’s the most basic way to display interest.
The reason it works so well in daygame is because nobody does it. For this reason I don’t promote men doing this at night… because everyone does it. You want to stand out, not blend in like every other guy. “Hi beautiful, can I buy you a drink?” Snore.
However, the direct approach is quick, efficient; it tells the girl why you’re there, and what you want. The problem is it can trigger auto-rejection, where the girl rejects you before she’s even had time to consider your offer and become comfortable with you.
It’s like if I offered to sell you an expensive car. “Hi. Want to buy my car?” Your first instinct is to say no. But then you go off, do some research, and consider what it would mean to own a car. You could have so much fun and freedom. Maybe a car isn’t a bad idea.
Girls do the same thing. They auto-reject a man and then consider it later. They talk to their friends about it, mull it over. Their girlfriends say “You’ve been single too long Amanda. You should go out with him!” Stuff like that. Often, they even change their mind. It’s happened to me many times.
For those in the friend zone, If you’re finally telling a girl you like her, she may act surprised, she may be receptive and reciprocal, or she may just reject you. It might not be auto-rejection, but a real, cold hard blow out. I’ll get to that.
You can just say, “I’ve been thinking about you, and me… together. What do you think?”
Or…
“Have you ever considered us dating? Wouldn’t that be crazy?”
If you tell her your feelings you have to be willing to lose her forever. Once you try to leave the friendzone, you may become lovers. Or, you may wreck that friendship you spent god knows how much time developing. I’ll get to that later.
Let’s talk about more subtle ways to show interest.
The Compliment
You don’t need to directly tell a girl you like her. You can also tell her you like some aspect about her. But let’s start with a general compliment.
Compliment Her Looks
You could compliment a specific part of her body, like her eyes, or her lips: “Your eyes are so big and expressive. I can’t stop staring at them.”
If you know her well enough you could be a bit more naughty: “Your ass is like a ripe melon. I just want to take a bite!”
The naughty compliment might be out of character for you. But it will definitely shake her perspective of you as that nice guy friend.
The idea of complimenting her looks is to show her you have a penis, and you find her sexually attractive. Then at least she knows.
Compliment Her Personality
When she makes a funny comment. “You’re hilarious. I like a funny girl.”
When she says something interesting or smart: “That was smart. Smart girls are sexy.”
When she demonstrates a cool skill: “You play guitar? I’ve always been attracted to musicians.” Or if she’s into fitness: “I’ve always been attracted to yoga girls.”
The idea is to show you respect some aspect of her other than just her looks.
The Subtle (Indirect) Approach
There are also ways to show a girl you like her without using words. The most powerful ways are with touch, and eye contact.
Prolonged looks (sleepy eyes)
The classic “I want you look” is relatively the same for both sexes. You tilt your head down, and keep your eyes up. You can add a full body scan, where you “scan” her from top to bottom and back up. Usually she’ll get the message, and maybe even call you out on it. “Are you checking me out?” Or, “What?”
You reply: “So what if I am?”
This will create a little sexual tension, which is good. The next step is releasing it.
Triangle Gazing
Triangle gazing is when you look up and down, from her eyes to her lips. This sends a subtle message that you’re thinking about kissing her.
Prolonged Touch
When you first meet a girl and shake her hand, hold it for longer than normal, say 5-10 seconds. You don’t need to pump her arm like you would a man. This sends a signal that you’re attracted to her.
Or if she says something you like or agree with you can touch her arm, or shoulder, and leave your hand there for just a few seconds longer.
Read this If you want to know more about how and when to touch a woman.
Be Willing To Lose Her
When you tell a girl you like her there’s a high chance she won’t feel the same way.
In my experience, because escalation is attractive, she may just need time to consider your offer. I always tell guys that if they want to get out of the friend zone they need to be willing to lose that girl from their life completely.
After you tell her what you feel she may not want to be friends any longer. That’s because you’re no longer the platonic guy friend, but rather you have an ulterior motive for being around her.
The idea is to have a sense of abundance. If you have many dating options then you won’t be completely hung up on just one girl. Being attached to one girl creates neediness, thirst, and desperation.
My best advice is to never let yourself get friendzoned in the first place. If you learn to approach, talk to girls and flirt masterfully, you’ll never get stuck as the platonic guy friend.
Dealing With Rejection
When you start showing your true romantic intentions to girls you’re going to face rejections.
The general rule of rejection: never show how much it hurts. Don’t get sad, butthurt or angry. When you show her you’re fine with being rejected, it shows a lot of confidence and self-esteem.
I’ve had women reject me and when I didn’t get weird about it, they changed their mind and we ended up dating. It doesn’t always happen right away. Sometimes she just needs time to think over your proposal. She might come back in a day, a month, or even it a year and say, “I’ve changed my mind!”
Kiss Her
If you like her you’ve probably imagined kissing, or more.
At some point you’ll need to pull the trigger. You can say:
“Have you ever thought about kissing me?”
“I’ve wanted to kiss you forever.”
“What if we kissed?”
“Are you a good kisser?”
“I’m trying so hard not to kiss you right now.”
Some women will enthusiastically kiss you, others will giggle and ignore your comment, and some might call you out on it. It depends on your existing relationship. If it’s an instant date from a cold approach or a girl you’ve been in a friend zone with for years, each case is unique. But you still gotta try. You’re not going to do the tango if you don’t move past the first kiss.
Texting (Don’t)
All of my advice relates to IRL interactions. You may be tempted to tell her over text, but don’t.
Texting is the worst form of communication. Our ego gets in the way and misinterprets the message. It is also cowardly to tell someone your feelings from miles away, behind a screen.
If you’re going to tell a girl you like her, do it in person, like a man.
Conclusion:
Telling a girl you like her isn’t difficult.
- You can go direct and just tell her, or show your attraction more subtly with touch, eye contact, or more overt flirtations.
- After that, you need to kiss, makeout, heavy pet, lick eachothers nipples, and so forth. She’ll definitely know you like her when she has her fat lips wrapped around your sceptre.
- Just remember, you must be willing to lose that girl forever, and never get angry, sad, or butthurt if she rejects you. If you stay cool, she may change her mind.
Good luck.