Flaking Girls
Most guys come into this stuff when they hit a low point, or they’re tired of getting flaked on. They aren’t getting the great girls that they really want or any girls at all. They’ll start off with zeal and go out fifteen nights straight, get a few numbers and revel in their new found super powers.
And then it starts…
The flaking.
If you get ten phone numbers that actually respond to you, and you meet one for a date, you are doing very well. Ask any guy that is good with girls, and if he’s truthful, he will confirm this. (Thailand doesn’t count.)
I’m really good at approaching but I literally need to get about a dozen phone numbers to get find a connection. To get a dozen responsive numbers I need to approach (with intent to get the number) about three dozen women.
It’s really about timing. Many girls I hooked up with had just moved into the city and didn’t know anybody, or had recently become single. The “I have a boyfriend line” is usually true. Most hot girls do have a boyfriend, or a fuck buddy they feel loyal to.
This is a reason why most guys become fascinated with one night stands. Why even bother with phone numbers if only one or two would even reply to your text? And out of ten numbers that reply, maybe one or two would meet you. What a load of crap.
If you already have game, social circle is the easiest way to land the hotter girls. But what if you don’t have a social circle? Like me, I work on my laptop. The only time I meet women is when I’m working, usually when I do demos. Most of my clients are web designers, programmers, etc. Other than online dating, cold approach is their only option. Online dating is a waste of time if you aren’t above average in good looks or are willing to send 200 messages to get a date with a 6. Singles meetups? Forget about it. You won’t find any talent there.
Last weekend I met three nice girls during work. Of those three, one informed me after a day of texting she had a boyfriend (confirmed by Facebook pics), the other stopped replying when I suggested we meet for coffee, and the other stopped texting for no reason at all, on a high note even. I usually have a great girl in my life, but when I’m single, it’s a lot of work to find someone great.
And it’s not just me. My dating coach friends deal with this as well.
The point is…cold approaching sucks ass. It’s a tool. But as far as a lifestyle it can be demoralizing and a chore. However, when you finally score your perfect ten out of a bar, or off a street corner, it’s one of the most rewarding feelings. And she will end up being your girlfriend because you had to work your ass off to get her.
Now learning how to keep her, that’s another lesson.
I haven’t given you much to work with. I know. Just don’t give up and don’t take this stuff too seriously.
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I completely agree Tony. So many girls, you’ll have an amazing interaction with and fireworks are in the air. A week later.. nothing.
I am in the exact same situation(if only programming was attractive)
I have better chance asking the girl to sleep with me the same night then I do of getting her to reply via text.
Thanks for posting this. I found it to be 100% true as well. I sometimes even wonder if “game” at all helps or if it is purely a numbers game and finding the ones that like me.
More importantly, I wanted to say thanks for posting this. I think most bloggers/dating coaches/etc are too scared to admit this fact as the reality is not pretty – even when you’re “good” it still takes a ton of work – and it’s often not what’s advertised.
Hey tony, have you read Flinch by Julien Smith? Its a short book about overcoming fear, challenges and social conditioning with similarities to what you teach and what Tolle discusses in The Power of Now. You can download it from Amazon for free.
I really like his blog at inoveryourhead.net
I plan to read it asap.
What is the plural of ignoramus?
Ignorami, ignoramuses?
finally, someone who speaks the truth – good one Tony
Ok, so the date was set for today and this morning got a text: she got involved in a car accident and has to be operated on so she can’t make it today. She texted with her sister’s phone.
Maybe it’s the truth but i have an awkward feeling about this. Is she wants to flake on me this is the perfect excuse: she has to recover for a while so there is no possibility of a new date in the upcoming weeks. Also, she’s sending with her sister’s phone? What’s up with that?
Also, it should be noted that when we were in a relationship a couple of years ago, she once declined a date by saying her brother had an accident and was in hospital.
What do you think guys?
BR
That sounds like a pretty extreme flake. Either way, you lose.
What do you mean Tony by: either way, you lose?
Well, she’s either in an accident and out of commission, or she is using an extreme flake on you, which means she’s a total loser.
I agree Tony….if this is a flake, I’m better off without her. In that case she should seek psychiatric help 🙂
I agree with the immediate close game. I dont ask for a number unless we get interrupted or some other reason we can’t continue. I dont approach a woman cold unless it looks like I have a shot. I look for eye contact that lasts a few seconds not once but twice. At this point you have about an 80% chance of closing. If I don’t get eyes I move on.
It’s funny. In my case things are different. I never but I mean NEVER got anywhere with a girl that I previously made eye contact with. Except one very hot phillipino mid forties mom who was 30 min late at the date, and then flaked.
All the girls that I took home, no eye contact or anything like that.
I only do day game. I get a phone number out of 5 approaches, and I get a girl to bed out of 4-5 phone numbers. I very rarely approach white and Asian women, because I don’t find them very attractive. All the girls are I get are at least average, but mostly above. What do u think of my numbers Tony?
Hi Tony,I am a goidlooking Italian veteran daygamer guy living in an eastern European country with hot tall blondes everywhere who prefer foreigners to their own nationality but I can confirm last year my approaches to dates was 10%.I documented my approaches.I approached 326 attractive girls in 2013 and went on 32 dates.it became very mentally challenging as I hated the flakes but all worth it as my goal is to get 2-3 hot girls in a rotation and stick to 1 if I fell in love. This year I am having more fun and do not mind the flakes.I do not even try hard to get them on dates.if they don’t bite initially I leave it.I am happy with 10%.also I actually think they are smart for flaking me as I would probably get
Bored of them and flake on them.I have been researching a lot and I feel I cannot do better than 10% and u and other gurus have confirmed it ! Johnny