Direct vs Indirect Openers for Daygame
Literally, everybody in the world wants to know, what’s better for daygame, direct or indirect openers?
I mean, Putin wants to know, Chris Hemsworth wants to know, Yoko Ono wants to know. Yeah, everyone.
It’s an age-old debate and I’ll give you the short answer now…
It doesn’t matter… but only if you have skill.
If you’re a newbie then I advise starting with the direct opener. If you’re over your crippling AA and want to advance, then learn indirect.
Let’s dive a little deeper.
Direct Openers
A direct opener is usually a compliment, followed by a statement of intent and an introduction. The most common routine is: “Hi, I just saw you and thought you were cute. I had to meet you. I’m Tony.”
There can be a million variations of this. But the goal is to tell a woman she’s hot and introduce yourself.
The Benefit of Direct Openers
The positive of the direct approach is brevity; it’s to the point. There’s no bullshit and can weed out women who don’t find you physically attractive or are already in relationships.
Where an indirect approach might allow you to slide under the radar and build comfort and attraction before you lean into flirting or give your statement of intent, the direct approach is straight to the point.
Some naysayers believe direct only works if you’re good-looking. I disagree, it only works if you BELIEVE that you’re good-looking. Whether you are or not doesn’t really matter. If you go direct and are not George Clooney, you better talk like you are.
Lucky for us average Joe’s, women aren’t only attracted to good looks. They’re not men, after all.
Direct Openers Need Follow-Up
Most guys have a 100% rejection on direct approaches because they have no follow-up: they don’t know how to talk to girls after the opener. They follow up their bold approach with “So, umm, what are you up to today? Where are you from?” The same old boring stuff every other boring guy says.
I advise you direct gamers to watch my free “Conversation Genius” course in my Skool community. Learn what a cold read is, or how to at least push-pull. You know, that stuff we call “Game?” An opener is not Game, it’s just a way to start the conversation.
That’s the part most guys miss. They either don’t know the technique, or they don’t believe it exists or works. And so they end up getting rejected over and over, then conclude that they’re too ugly to attract girls.
The Downside of Direct Openers
The direct approach is efficient, however, it can also cause auto-rejection. It doesn’t give a woman time to get to know your personality before rejecting you. Don’t take these rejections personally.
The direct opener itself is just fine if you live in a crowded city full of single women. The downside of direct openers is they can trigger auto-rejection. Women often say, “Sorry but I have a boyfriend,” before you’ve even completed your direct opener. And then most nice guys just give up.
Another downside is reputation management. If you do a lot of approaching, say in the same four blocks or your local mall, eventually you’ll be known as “that guy” who says the same thing to every pretty girl. “You’re cute I had to meet you.” SNORE.
I’ve seen it so many times where a dude approaches a girl who says, “Bro, you’ve hit on me with the same line four times this week.”
Indirect Openers
The indirect approach is contextual, meaning related to the environment, or situation.
For example, you’re at a Taylor Swift concert, there’s a shortie beside you, so you lean over and yell, “Taylor Swift is sooo wizard!! I have all her hits on Spotify, how about you!?”
You’re not making it known that you’re hitting on her. You’re just a social guy being social.
The Benefit of Indirect Openers
The indirect opener is more versatile than direct. You can add some creativity to your approach. It also gives you plausible deniability: you’re not there to hit on her, you’re just a social, extroverted kind of guy.
Imagine you’re at the same cafe every day and the staff here you saying, “I just thought you were cute,” to every attractive woman that enters the shop. It only takes one feminist barista to post you on TikTok and you’re banned for life.
Direct is also more fun for creative men. It puts the art into the science of seduction.
The Downside of Indirect Openers
Most guys suck at indirect openers because they don’t have their openers memorized, and they don’t know how to improvise.
That’s why I created an entire free course in my free community called, “Easy Openers.” However, they’re not easy at all. It requires dedicated thought, study and practice.
Many guys’ idea of an indirect opener is asking directions. I call this the bait and switch. Let me show you an example of the bait and switch:
The Bait and Switch Opener
Guy: “Hi, do you know where the Starbucks is?”
Girl: “Yes. Over there.”
Guy: (Clueless what to do next) “Oh, so… what are you up to?”
Her: “I’m going to work.”
Guy: “Oh, cool, cool. So…”
Her: “Sorry I really have to go. Enjoy your Starbucks.”
Guy: “Oh, I didn’t really want to know where Starbucks is. I thought you were cute.” (Bait and switch).
Her: “I have to go.”
In this case, you may as well open with direct. The problem is the transition is sloppy. Because this guy doesn’t know how to switch from the lame directions opener to flirtation, he just goes straight to direct. This comes across as very amateurish.
Conclusion
To sum this up:
The direct opener is efficient but can cause auto rejection. Also, most guys don’t know what to do after the opener because their verbal game sucks (or they’re shitting their pants with AA).
The indirect opener lets you get to know a girl before escalating to flirtation. However, most guys don’t know how to improvise openers, or smoothly escalate to flirtation, and lose the interaction.
There is no “best” way to approach women. But in my experience, direct approaches are easier to learn than improvised indirect.
That’s why you should join my community on Skool and get access to the free courses on opening and conversation.
See you in there.
